I'm fighting in "the surge" please help! (Introduction)

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Nameless, Mar 8, 2017.

  1. Nameless

    Nameless Fapstronaut

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    Hello everybody,

    I'm a 24yr old male.

    I decided to begin my NoFap challenge on March 2nd 2017 (6 days ago).
    I took the challenge on because quite frankly, I hate myself!...... It's hard for me to admit that, but it is true!

    I hate myself because rather then achieving my daily goals, I watch to much porn and wank far, far to often! (Average of 5 times a day). I am in a loving relationship of 3 years and next year we plan to get married. Even more then that, we are swingers, so I get sex from about 3 other women a year, ontop of what I already get from my relationship.

    When you have a set up this good, one must wonder:
    "why do I need to masterbait?....... Especially so often"

    I have been watching hardcore porn since the age of 16 and some of the things I watched disturbed me....... Yet I watched them again and again...... Then I stopped...... And then I began to watch them again. This battle still gose on to this day.

    My partner won't do any hardcore sexual acts and neither will any swingers we have met...... So what do I do?...... I'm so bloody embarrassed to share this...... But I hired a hooker, 3 times now. All because I want to do this crazy stuff to somebody so badly.

    I have a serious problem!

    I delay doing what I need to do, until the last Min. Sometimes I never do it
    I am never sexually satisfied for more then 15min, never!
    I stay up late wanking when infact, I should be sleeping for my early start the next day
    I look at weird porn, seriously weird porn

    This must stop now!!
    ....... But just 6 days in and I'm finding it so, so hard!

    I'm laying awake at night tossing (not in a fun way) and turning, thinking of wanking...... By god! I feel like I'm trying to quit Cocane or something.

    I honestly don't think I can do it alone, I haven't since the first 24hrs. I've already had to close down porn sites before I could begin watching a video 3 times, in just 6 days.

    Today my regular FWB (from our swinger situation, not to be confused with my fiancé). She decided to no longer continue our play time. I got to admit, I only thought I could do the NoFap because of the sex I was getting from my FWB and my fiancé. Now there is no FWB....... Well I'm near breaking point!

    That's why I'm here,
    Thank you for taking the time to read my story
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2017
  2. Hi @Zolo88 , welcome to NoFap

    I do not think the swinger thing will help you for your reboot, because it sound a bit like porn: we change the "actress" all the time, from one movie to the other, because we cannot get satisfaction with our spouse any longer. But the more we do this, the less satisfaction we get, so we increase to hardcore, gay porn, transexual, animals or whatever we can get in order to keep our erection...until we cannot get one with anything else, because we have tried everything.
    This is worst than quitting cocaine, because drugs are external substances, while MO using our fantasies are inside our brain. It makes it much more difficult

    It is a big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear.

    I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up.
    I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down:

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978

    I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

    http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318
    You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:
    http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2

    I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.

    Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too.

    I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.
    Let's keep on fighting

    Fercho
     
    warrior54321 likes this.
  3. warrior54321

    warrior54321 New Fapstronaut

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    Wow! Phenomenal reply!
     
    fercho29 likes this.
  4. Nameless

    Nameless Fapstronaut

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    Hi @fercho29,

    Your reply was so detailed and amazing!
    I read it during my lunch break and really thought deep about it the rest of the day. I watched some of the modivational videos. Even thou I have not read everything, I assure you I have read a lot and it's beginning to look rude by me not replying.

    I really liked the quotes from other users, it saved me a lot of time finding them in my own.

    I got to ask, why do you strongly recommend I join the no gap academy? Do you recommend that to all users, or do I just seem like a particularly full on case?

    I got to admit: Quiting wanking and porn is hard enough!
    I got no idea how I would also give up the swinger thing.
    Is it possible that doing that would be me quitting "cold turkey" and just to much? I honestly feel like I will crack soon anyway and by adding this extra thing to the 90 day challenege....... I just can't imagine myself succeeding
     
  5. Hi @Nameless
    I am so glad you found my posts interesting. Yes, it will save you a lot of research time, I compiled them over these last 21 months :)
    I recommend Nofap Academy to everybody who can afford 40 dollars per month. I could have not succeeded without this guys.
    The e-course is good and will give you more tools and background to fight the addiction, but the most value you get joining the video calls every Wednesday. They can coach you in real time, reply your questions, give you advise, etc.
    I try not to miss a single week, even if I am working or traveling. It also helps me to stay connected and feel accountable, The biggest risk after so many month is to become complacent and forget how shitty was my life before quitting PMO
    Hard mode is super tough, I could not manage to do it. I was exploding in the 3rd week, so i had sex with my wife.
    I am not a specialist in swingers, but I was addicted to escorts and they recommended me to quit that too, because it was like "porn in steroids". I feel that swinging is something similar, but i am not a specialist.
    Good luck and keep on fighting
    Fercho
     
  6. Nameless

    Nameless Fapstronaut

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    @fercho29
    I greatly appreciate e time and effort you have already put into me.
    Thank you!
     
    fercho29 likes this.
  7. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    How are you progressing today?

    What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     

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