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I'm going through a rough time right now.

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by BadAtChoosingNames, Jan 19, 2020.

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  1. The last few weeks were hard in my life and in mid february my exams start.

    It all started that 2 weeks ago i stopped having contact with a girl who was really important to me. I met her on halloween in a bar and we got along extremly well almost instantly, so we started to cuddle a bit and we maked out. Following that was a great friendship where spend time regulary, went outside to do things, had extremly great talks, good sex, sometimes just cuddled and just wondereful time. I knew she had sex with other people and that is completly fine for me, because we were not in a relationship and i can not forbid that.
    But 2 weeks ago she told me that we probably can not meet up anymore and that she is about to start an unhealty relationship (which i dont want to talk about more in detail) and this whole situation hurt me and my confidence really badly. It ended that i didnt go to university for a whole week and i had to talk to some really good friends about that who helped me handling this situation.

    Following this i relapsed in my gaming addiction badly, i mean really bad. I reinstalled steam, bought a game and played the next week mostly 10h a day, i skipped university at some days. I collected myself a bit and deleted this shit again.

    Not suprisingly my bad porn behaviour came back too, not as badly as i expected but it came back non the less.

    And my gym and sleep routine got fucked up badly too.

    So my last few days were youtube all day long and bad sleep because i thought a lot about my life when i was in bed, because i didnt over the day.
    Now i'm sitting here in my room having problems to get started in university stuff and struggle to do something productive. It feels suprisingly like last year where my gf at that point broke up with me shortly before my exams.

    I know i have to pull myself together, but it is hard !
     
  2. drac16

    drac16 Fapstronaut

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    Just give yourself some time to heal. It's OK to feel overwhelmed, my friend. You had your heart broken and that takes time to heal. I'm not saying that viewing pornography is OK, but it's understandable that you would fall back into that habit. People use pornography as a way to escape reality. That's just it, though; it's an escape. It's not real. The escape is only temporary and it never lasts long because before you know it, you will want more. Pornography never satisfies for any significant amount of time.

    If you work to stop your porn addiction, it will be easier to focus on your studies because you'll have less crap weighing you down.
     
    BadAtChoosingNames likes this.
  3. Tempus Fugit

    Tempus Fugit Fapstronaut

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    Having a girlfriend takes up a lot of time and energy. I recommend taking a break from trying to connect or reconnect with a girlfriend. If you put that to the side for now, just take some time to take care of yourself. There will be time for a gf later.
     
    BadAtChoosingNames likes this.
  4. I had the same thought, i'm thinking that i just put the topic relationship aside and just focus on university. But this feels very weird to me.
    I rather would stop trying to find one and if it happens then it happens.
     
  5. Luckily (?) porn is not the escape/coping method #1, i fall back in gaming badly for a week or two after such things and then i rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

    Yeah the best way is now to continue working on myself !
     

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