I'm having trouble with fantasies

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Shy_1990, Aug 11, 2019.

  1. Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

    So Im on a 5 day streak (yes I know my counter is wrong, i didn't reset it properly).
    Im generally going ok. Have the normal ups and downs.
    One problem that has started the last 24hrs is I'm having extremely vivid fantasies. Its a combination of the P that I used to watch and also just general thoughts about women.

    Ive been trying meditation and it helps but its not a cure. The main problem is that the fantasies get the blood flowing to all the wrong places and give me very strong urges.
    Can anyone tell me if these fantasies will fade away with time away from P?
    Can anyone offer me any more tips on how to try and delete these images from my mind? I don't mind generally thinking about girls but I hate that I'm thinking about my P that I used to watch.
  2. Unexist

    Unexist Fapstronaut

    They will fade away with time, but you need something to occupy your mind or you will relapse.
  3. alexg1709

    alexg1709 Fapstronaut

    I would recommend channeling that energy towards a sport or a new Hobbie.

    I am finding that strong work outs wear me out so much that I fantasize less.

    Good luck bro!
    on_a_mission4truth likes this.
  4. hah_lay_loo_yuh

    hah_lay_loo_yuh Fapstronaut

    You won't get rid of the thoughts. In fact, that is the opposite strategy. Temptation will always be there. Use meditation to increase your awareness. Use your awareness to focus on what you're afraid of without letting those fantasies overtake your awareness.

    It's like doing anything difficult. When you fail, you become afraid of it because you failed last time. The issue is not that you can't keep getting stronger. The issue is that you're afraid to try to fight again because you think it will just result in failure. It is your fear which holds you back. And the worst part is, that in the beginning your fear is probably right: you will probably fail, again and again. Until you don't.

    Through becoming more aware, you become aware of your fear which is preventing you from trying again and again until you get it. You learn to separate from this fear and see it as separate from yourself, allowing you to rise to it.

    To practice becoming more aware, you just have to sit down and focus on your emotions for 30 minutes a day, no matter how uncomfortable. Forget "zen" meditation, forget "focus" meditation, forget all that bullshit. Just focus on what you actually feel for 30 minutes a day, without running from anything and never letting what you feel dominate your awareness, while also not suppressing anything that you feel. Then your awareness will begin to separate from your emotions and thoughts. They will not go away, and you shouldn't run from them.

    Your awareness is the adult in the room. By running from your kids (your thoughts, urges and emotions) they are just going to grow up into little shits that ruin your life and ruin other people's lives. Practice awareness to see your fear for what it is, and then continue to try, try, try until you start to win. You don't get rid of your thoughts. They decrease in intensity and frequency, but they'll always be there. The question is not how you "delete" them but how do you stay above them. And, if you do give into them, how do you get back up? Awareness of the fear which prevents you from trying again will help you rise up to it. Good luck.
    koolpal likes this.
  5. im’possible

    im’possible Fapstronaut

    I think it can be but need some works to do. First, who are you fancying with?

    Your ex? Pornstar? Is she some one particular?

    When you go deeper with yourself , you can find out what exactly wrong was. Until then, it would be cycles.

    Would you like to take a course to get deeper? Find more at my signature.

    And lastly, find APs. They really helpful.

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