im horrible

i hate myself, i joined like a speed run community online on ff7 and had great banter and was getting to know people, then i fucked everything by being....for no reason, being argumentative and trying to criticize and correct people. Then i got banned from someone's twitch so changed my name in the hope that i could start over but one other streamer called me out and just feel I'm not welcome anymore even though they didn't block me and i trashed them behind their back. Also, when i changed my name i just pretended i was new and asking oh what's this, even though i knew already... so probably everyone thinks i'm a creep now and gone our my dreams to make a twitch channel and get viewers cos seems like everyone hates me now. And PMO obviously was the cause and the potential relapse again to my problems. Seriously I'm the worse man.