I'm in at age 50

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Iwant2Quit2015, Oct 23, 2015.

  1. Iwant2Quit2015

    Iwant2Quit2015 Fapstronaut

    OK. I'm new to this but a little about me and my life. Recently retired living in Tn. As anyone might guess, I have a lot of alone time. I have pretty much been addicted to some sort of porn ever since the days of the military since the age of 18. I have tried to quit looking at porn numerous times. Always relapsing. Basically I am living broken promises. My wife has confronted me to the point almost to divorce. Again, broken promises. I want to quit and by the grace of God, I have landed here. So here I am and most every man that reads this knows somewhat how I feel. I'm hoping and praying by me posting messages, I can take a stand against the enemy. I want so badly to get rid of this one devil. So here we go, DAY 1
  2. JoePineapples

    JoePineapples Fapstronaut

    Good luck mate. Lots of resources, help and wise heads on here who will help you on your journey.
  3. Welcome. I sent you a PM. Your screen name is the right idea. Too many here want to control it, not quit it. The mentality must be "I am quitting". Quitting forever. That is the impossible thought for many addicts, but you will have great success if you embrace that. Also, you have an advantage over many of us here who are in our teens or early twenties. Your brain has unused pathways that were there, and active, prior to High Speed Internet Porn. You are just old enough to have had purely sexual thoughts about real women before experiencing High Speed Internet Porn. That means you have pathways to return to. Imagine if the only sexual sensitivity you had was ever to HSIP, the way it is for many of us here. You get to do something that, in only a few more years, no one will ever do, or few will; you get to re-wire to actual sex, you get to sensitized back to sex and away from porn. For a guy who has never had sex in the first place, but is addicted, it is a major f**king chore to wire to reality.

    Good luck on your journey.

    Keep going, porn is not an option.

    Much love.

    Will I AM
  4. nitsuj0786

    nitsuj0786 Fapstronaut

    My advice would be learn everything you can about the addiction. Here and other sites. Your brain on porn is a great place to start. I would also visit some youtube channels. Noah B.E. Church has some good stuff, church is also his last name so it isn't religious. Sacred sexuality project is another good one and reboot nation has some good stuff. Good Luck
    Handzfree and JoePineapples like this.
  5. slowhands

    slowhands Fapstronaut

    Hi @Iwant2Quit2015 and welcome to your new community!
    The fact that you've been failing over and over shouldn't be your main concern. I'm sure just a bunch of people here have succeeded in quitting porn on the first try. It's not an easy challenge but it requires time and patience. That means you're not a broken promise. On the contrary, you should be proud of your strenght to stand up again and face your addiction. So, start from the past mistakes and setbacks that prevented you from defeating your addiction and build your new path.

    Read as much as you can here, collect information, pray God and aim for success!

    You can and you will win this fight, because you have a precious power within yourself!
    Handzfree and JoePineapples like this.
  6. Handzfree

    Handzfree Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Welcome IW2Q... I'm in your age range and I can attest you are in the right spot. The past doesn't matter anymore. It's all about what you are doing at the moment. Get a counter (by clicking on any listed below a post). Go to yourbrainonporn.com and learn... get an accountability partner... bite off a big chunk by going 90 day hard core (no PMO)... Finally, get the life you've always wanted.

    Cheers, HF!!
  7. RightWolf

    RightWolf Fapstronaut

    Good luck man...read and take in all you can here, there is a lot of great information...the more time you spend focused on the solution, or antidote, the less time there is for the "problem" to hijack your brain
    Handzfree likes this.
  8. HopeFaith

    HopeFaith Fapstronaut

    I have completed my first 5 days of a reboot ever. Firstly I was so honey I was imagining having sex in my mind with everything that moved, people, animals, passers by on the street, old and young alike. I was so uncomfortable down there it was really hurting me. That feeling eased off around day 4 and I could feel that sexual energy spreading upwards into my tommy and being reabsorbed back into my body. I was so proud and happy with myself and felt I would easily make it through and escape my addiction on my first attempt. I was already feeling huge improvements in my self esteem, people skills, others started noticing me more too. First time ever I would not shy out from talking to people and felt confident to maintain short conversations.

    On my day 5 extreme loneliness has hit me, it was even more noticeable as I have dropped from my previous high. The trigger was a real life event. At work a man has fainted and I had to deal with him. He was 2 years younger than me, appeared to be shy and had a history of anxiety, loneliness, depression. When I asked him if there was anybody that could pick him up and take him home he said no. He lived in this area for more than 2 years and felt he could not even ask the people at work to help.
    This was like looking in the mirror for me. I am like him!:(

    I was already on day 5 of my reboot and felt it was me that has brought all of this on as I have somehow connected to him and understood where his problem was. All I wanted to say to him was STOP FAPING!!! CANT YOU SEE HOW THIS IS AFFECTING YOU? But I was at work and could not do that. I am sure I would have been fired. I never met him before but just looking at him made me feel very scared and hopeless and it brought me right down from my positive high. All I wanted to do is run away from the black whole that was encompassing him.

    I could not deal with the realisation that the last 20 years of my life has been waisted by my occasional faping. I never understood that people were avoiding me because I carried around with me that black hole of depleted energy. I started faping since puberty and since then started suffering from depression and moved from one addiction to the next. Because of my fapping I could not feel or connect to the energy radiated by other people. For them I was like that man was for me today. Total energy black hole. I knew people were avoiding me and I was avoiding them....... For 20 years I could not understand why.

    So I went home and made myself better the only way I knew how...but it did not work this time. I immediately regretted it and now I do not only feel honey again but also very washed out. In bed struggling to do anything now.

    Now can see clearly how I have waisted my best years of life. I am trying not to feel sorry for myself but it is hard. I know if I continue to feel sorry for meself I will waist another 20 years. I have to pull through to the end and come out on the other side to live the remaining years I have got left.

    I do not want to be alone anymore. Can you help me through?
  9. Iwant2Quit2015

    Iwant2Quit2015 Fapstronaut

    Thank you.
  10. JoePineapples

    JoePineapples Fapstronaut

    Hi Hope,
    You'll find lots of help and resources on here, but it helps keep things neat and tidy if you post in your own thread. I'm not 'telling you off', just helping you find your way. I'd suggest, on the main Forums page, go to Reboot Logs, and choose the most appropriate one to you. Then scroll to the bottom of the page where you'll see a big red "post new thread" button. Sorry if this is teaching you to suck eggs. :)
    HopeFaith likes this.
  11. Cooldude4

    Cooldude4 Fapstronaut

    All the best, there is never a wrong time to do the right thing.
    HopeFaith likes this.

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