I'm in need of male support

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Deleted Account, Mar 28, 2020.

  1. Hey guys, I have a deep-seated need to connect with other guys. This is behind my ssa and possibly even my pmo addiction. I am wary as I make efforts to venture forth today. I have often confused the need for male companionship with other desires.

    Anyone else run into that? Any tips? Please reach out if you know what I am running into. I am also on telegram (happy4now).
     
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  2. tout ça pour ça

    tout ça pour ça Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    hi, gay male here and yeah I often confuse companionship, intimacy and need or desire. it is confusing but im working out how to organise my brain a bit better. if you are straight, then i also get the connection and desire thing. i think that' s quite common. the twentieth century hadn't really made room for sliding desires.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Yes these are confusing times indeed. How is your process going? How do you organise your brain a bit better?
     
  4. tout ça pour ça

    tout ça pour ça Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    sorry - I hope that didn't sound self righteous? It's just that I think we all have fluid desires - more than we really can admit.
    porn hasn't helped us - by revealing stuff and maybe building on some of those desires to reinforce them. It can be unsettling. being on NoFap has been great for me and I have found that i have bene able to talk to expel i would never have had opportunity to communicate with. It has opened up my mind to the fact that we all share stuff and need and all are fragile.
     
  5. tout ça pour ça

    tout ça pour ça Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    organising my brain a bit better - thinking through what are triggers, what is need, what is companionship and how desire isnt only physical, I may be attracted to someone because of their humour, intelligence, creativity, doesnt mean i want to have sex with them. attraction is much more about connection on many levels. porn i think reduces this to a single physical act. a sort of demonstration of a physical act really. connection and need for connection are ok. that is very human.
     
  6. Makes sense. Thanks for this insight. You didn't sound self righteous. Do you think age has anything to do with it? I often worry that I am "too far gone" at 39. There's no way of going back... Feel a bit damaged to be honest!
     
  7. tout ça pour ça

    tout ça pour ça Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    age? it maybe more about exposure to porn, or rather, the uptake of the visual at an earlier age. this could mean it is more wired into your brain - more normalised. still, no, no one is too far gone, unless they dont want to lay down new habits.

    feeling damaged is a good sign in a way - is it a recognition of your own perspectives? cant be a bad thing.
     
  8. fitbro09

    fitbro09 Fapstronaut

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    I've found that this is behind a lot of my ssa too. As well as feeling insecure about my masculinity. I found that working my ass off at the gym to earn the kind of body I'm attracted to really helped me to build confidence in my masculinity and be less sexually obsessed with other male bodies.
     
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  9. tout ça pour ça

    tout ça pour ça Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    im sure that there is a lot of men who feel uncomfortable or ill at ease with what is supposed to be an ideal of masculinity or with a set of determined behaviours. It is difficult to feel comfortable in your own skin regardless of how you identify.
     
  10. DrHaidar623

    DrHaidar623 New Fapstronaut

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    always be strong. anytime
     
  11. GreenHornet27

    GreenHornet27 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,
    I've found everything that has been discussed here very true for myself as well. A lot of my own struggles stem from my SSA. I definitely have that need to connect with other guys but have found it difficult to do so.
     
  12. DannyS

    DannyS Fapstronaut

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    I am looking for an AP guys. PM me.
     

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