I'm not stupid or am I...

(sorry for mistakes I'm french speaking )

Hello,

How to start? It strated a long time ago but I think the most interstig thing is to explain how I landed here:


I love science, biology is one of my favorite.
I was having lunch today and was looking at some youtubes vids, some serious ones about scence, knowlege, human behavior, memory... what to choose?



I already did know this was a problem, I tried so many times to stop without winning (but just did some improvement). Just before I was planning what kind of evening will I have after work.
"Wife isnt home so I have two hours... Fortnite? Cooking? Visit a friend?
Lets plan a 1.5 PMO and a 0.5 Fortnite."
I fact would have be a full time PMO

First time I admited I had a problem was one year ago. We talked about that with my mife and she told me to have a journal or having pychologic help. Considering stopping P made me realy angry and I was considering it was like a curse. That it was in my nature to be like that.
I fighted for some time but it came back to me and felt harmless.

In the video they talk about Nofap community. I never tought about that but it has to be a first time, a serious one.
So I didn't spent my day thinking about P but read a lot on this site

So I feel stupid because I think I could try something like this before.
I realy hope that will help me because I see it as a chance.


Thank you guys