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I'm over analyzing my looks after watching black pill videos

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by StayClean&Proactive, Mar 31, 2021.

  1. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    I just had a relapse from looking at a cleavagey video on tiktok and now I feel like a loser. I now have flashbacks of all the times I got bullied and rejected. I wish I didn't have Asperger's so I would've had better luck with women in high school. Everytime I see an attractive girl, I feel like a pervert and a loser, and when I have a relapse I have flashbacks of guys making fun of me in high school for "Getting no bitches". I feel pathetic and ashamed to be a virgin at 19, since most people lose their virginity in high school. Can someone help me not look at myself as trash and help me not put women on the pedestal just for their looks? I do hate myself, and love from my family doesn't help because their opinion of me is gonna be biased since they're related to me. I'm also jealous of men who've had more experience with women. In high school, the most I've gotten was just some hugs, and that's if I'm lucky. But other guys have ran through so many chicks it'll make your head spin. Someone help me break free from the toxic black pill mentality, and give me ways to help me improve myself. I'm also scared of becoming an incel if I don't get accepted into this new college, since I just moved, and I'm currently struggling in my online courses. I've lost motivation to complete my assignments. Someone help me. And my parents assume that everything will be great, no matter what, and they aren't helping me prepare for the worst case scenario. In high school I've had both bottom tier unattractive girls and popular girls hit on me based on my looks, despite a lot of guys bullying me for "getting none". However, my personality might be a turn off to them due to me having Aspergers. Someone help me out. I hate myself and feel like a loser and a pervert and a geek for having a relapse My insecurities and self doubt have caused me to ignore women who've been nice to me and that have shown interest.
     
  2. todolist

    todolist Fapstronaut

    Sorry to hear about your situation dude.


    You've probably heard this before, but 19 is still VERY young! The people who were popular and successful with women back in high school rarely maintain that success later in life. The structure of school and college is just so different to the real world that many people find themselves unable to adapt - especially if they were popular in the cliquey environment of education (I should know, my best years were in my late teens, it was all downhill from there). I have several friends who have a similar story to you. 0 contact with women during their teenage years with not so much as a kiss on the cheek. Now, in their 20's they are killing it and it's me who has to change in order to re-connect with women.


    What I’m saying is you have plenty of time. In a way I think the incel thing is a bi-product of immediate consumerism. You want sex RIGHT NOW (because you perceive everyone else to be having it constantly) otherwise you are a failure. Reality is very different from that. Most men don't have hundreds of notches on their bedposts and it's very common for men to not lose their virginity until their 20's (I honestly wish I had been in that group). Be patient, love yourself, get in touch with your emotions and life will start to work in your favour. The pressure to have sex before you're 20 is such a toxic one and leads to guys doing things they later regret (again, me included).


    If you can feel good about yourself, everything else will follow. I think it goes without saying that you should stop looking at all the black-pill/incel stuff right away. It's just not going to help you in the slightest. Similar to P, it gives you that 'hit' of dopamine to see others in your shoes, along with seeing some form of meaning applied to your confusing and fucked up situation. But it is completely at odds with you becoming a person that can love themselves. Get to a point through nofap, self-improvement, therapy - whatever, where getting laid or chasing girls isn't even something you need to do. You are already happy with who you are and where you are as a person, you accept that you may die a virgin but, in the end, who cares! You're happy, confident and loving life. THEN, you'll become irresistible, I guarantee. There’s a reason women are attracted to men who are already in a relationship. They have their shit sorted out and they aren't looking for casual sex. I think most women find this extremely disarming.


    There are a million resources out there on self-improvement. I would suggest a therapist, but I don't know your situation. Either way having someone to chat with is always a help, especially with the other stuff like stress from studying etc (my PM's are always open).


    TLDR Bad times never last forever, loving yourself is key, don't be afraid of things taking time, high-school 'chads' often become losers later in life.
     
    Ice22 and solowstreak like this.
  3. StayClean&Proactive

    StayClean&Proactive Fapstronaut

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    I'm currently in therapy, and I'm gonna need to be more open toward me therapist in order to heal.
     
  4. Black pill is addicting for people who have low self-esteem, because it rationalizes self-hatred.
     
  5. brassknucks

    brassknucks Fapstronaut

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    Dude, Gigachads and Turbo Chads are mostly a meme. In reality, even dorky doofus’s can get laid if they play their cards right.
     
    Garek likes this.
  6. There is nothing cool about losing virginity just so you can flex with it. Find someone to really love, someone that you have things in common, someone you trust. That's more important than just getting laid.
     
    ElSabio likes this.
  7. This is typical. As an adult I still deal with this mentality. Here’s a few suggestions:

    1) Start thinking about what happiness and success mean to you. Ask yourself, what do I need to do in order to be happy and how can I share that with others?

    2) Shut off YouTube and go exercise. Buy a jump rope, hang a chinning bar from your bedroom door, get a kettle bell and start using them.

    3) Controversial one here: hold off on college and get a job. Or go to community college part time while working part time.

    4) Jealousy and resentments are optional. So are gratitude and the desire for happiness. You can chose.

    You are making an effort and you’ve got some self awareness, that’s a great start. It’s time to start changing your behavior. We’ve got your back.
     
  8. Abel100%

    Abel100% Fapstronaut

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    hola amigo....yo tengo síntomas parecidos a los tuyos....y llegué virgen hasta los 27 años ...tuve una relación estable x 9 años ...? Ahora estoy soltero... No te compares con la mayoría.....Lo que es normal en la sociedad no necesariamente será lo mejor o lo más correcto
     
  9. Tenebras

    Tenebras Fapstronaut

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    You're stuck in your head and telling yourself stories, narratives that your mind has created. Those things aren't necessarily true—the idea you're a loser, etc... "loser" is just a word you use. Stop using that word, because it devalues who you are and the person you were born to be.

    You're comparing yourself to other people way too much. Accept yourself and stop comparing yourself to the man-whores at your school.

    If you stop and think about it, those guys at your school you refer to, though they might appear popular and like they "have it all", are actually weak. They're addicted to validation from females because they feel like they're not enough without it. They only hide it well.

    They are no better than you.

    Stop watching black pill material. It'll ruin your outlook, trust me. I've watched a couple friends go down the black pill rabbit hole and entirely screw up their heads.

    - tenebras
     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2022
  10. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    A friend of mine has Aspergers. He got married and became a scientist. I don't know what it's like to have it but my friend is proof you can have a good life with it. Of course, his life isn't problem-free but it's pretty good. He's semi-retired and now spends a lot of his time flying his plane.

    You had a relapse but it's not the end of the world. Having a relapse doesn't make you a loser it makes you human.
     
    Ice22 likes this.
  11. "The first gulp of dating might make you red-pilled, but the white pill is waiting for you at the bottom of the glass."
    ~heisenberg, probably
     
  12. these thoughts are all something i struggld with at one point and can guarantee its because of pmo. You feel weak and beneath women when you relapse, you dont feel clean or worthy. You lose social skills, eye contact, and so many things you need to attract a woman when you relapse. you are lucky you are young at 19. your only hope is nofap and self improvement to alleviate these symptoms. Yes i am very faimiliar with black pill mentality. use it to better yourself. If you relapsed cuz of tik tok, delete the app.

    I believe some people reported aspergers getting better on nofap. Google "nofap aspergers"
     

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