I'm ready to quit my relationship.... but not yet.

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Andrew0268, May 16, 2018.

  1. Andrew0268

    Andrew0268 Fapstronaut

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    Hello,


    I'm Andrew, 34, PMO sex and love and fantasy addict.


    I've been trying to quit PMO for about 5 years now. I've had success and great self-improvement, but I haven't quit the habit for good.

    I've also been a slave to other outlets that aren't exactly porn. I've been obsessed with things like Tinder. I've been obsessed with escort ads. I've been to see escorts and massage parlors about a dozen times in total(combination) over the past 6-7 years. I'm not proud of my behavior. I'm not happy about it. I'm trying to quit. I'm in a 12-step addiction group. I'm cutting off all computer and phone outlets. I'm cutting off all necessary social media outlets. It's hard to keep connected and disconnect from possible PMO access. As long as I have images, I have an outlet. Although some outlets are more intense and drive my fantasy more than others.

    I've been in a relationship for a bit over a year now. She met me and I told her about my history. She was OK with my past. But, when my habits didn't stop, the arguments began. Slowly our passion has died. Slowly, I've lost interest in her. Slowly, I've found her to be repulsive. She is so hard on me. She can't understand my problem and treat me gently. I always get yelled at when I make mistakes.

    This is my story, but it's not the whole story.

    I'm here on NoFap to find additional support and for a forum for me to write on. Maybe someone can read this and relate. Maybe someone out there had information to help me heal my mind. I've been involved with PMO in some form consistently since the age of 13-14. I don't want love and connection anymore, I just want sex. I want intense sex. I don't want intimacy, I just want to f*#k. I wasn't always like this. I used to want love. I used to want romance. That part of me is dying. I need to change. Hopefully NoFappers can lend me a (washed) hand.

    I need to try to fix my relationship. It's not important that we are together or get married. But it's important that I heal myself and do my part to heal the relationship and the hurt I've caused her.
     
    Rehab101 likes this.
  2. Tan3110

    Tan3110 Fapstronaut

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    Do you actually love her or are you using her as a outlet cos the way you talk about her is so uncomplimentary. If you don't want love or her why keep putting her through the hurt it's selfish I'm an SO and I know my husband loves me and is now really trying. But I can't say I haven't been destroyed by this but at least we love each other.
     
    Deleted Account, Jennica and Numb like this.
  3. Cbelle41

    Cbelle41 Fapstronaut

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    I dont think you were ready for a serious relationship.
    Does she really know *all* of your history?
    I bolded a statement in your OP.
    If you find her repulsive, you're doing her NO favors by staying with her for the selfish reasons of wanting to "fix yourself".
    Shes a human being and not a tool for your recovery.
    If you dont love her and find her repulsive, let her go. And let her find someone who loves her and values her. You're causing way more hurt by doing this.
     

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