I'm ready to quit my relationship.... but not yet.

Hello,


I'm Andrew, 34, PMO sex and love and fantasy addict.


I've been trying to quit PMO for about 5 years now. I've had success and great self-improvement, but I haven't quit the habit for good.

I've also been a slave to other outlets that aren't exactly porn. I've been obsessed with things like Tinder. I've been obsessed with escort ads. I've been to see escorts and massage parlors about a dozen times in total(combination) over the past 6-7 years. I'm not proud of my behavior. I'm not happy about it. I'm trying to quit. I'm in a 12-step addiction group. I'm cutting off all computer and phone outlets. I'm cutting off all necessary social media outlets. It's hard to keep connected and disconnect from possible PMO access. As long as I have images, I have an outlet. Although some outlets are more intense and drive my fantasy more than others.

I've been in a relationship for a bit over a year now. She met me and I told her about my history. She was OK with my past. But, when my habits didn't stop, the arguments began. Slowly our passion has died. Slowly, I've lost interest in her. Slowly, I've found her to be repulsive. She is so hard on me. She can't understand my problem and treat me gently. I always get yelled at when I make mistakes.

This is my story, but it's not the whole story.

I'm here on NoFap to find additional support and for a forum for me to write on. Maybe someone can read this and relate. Maybe someone out there had information to help me heal my mind. I've been involved with PMO in some form consistently since the age of 13-14. I don't want love and connection anymore, I just want sex. I want intense sex. I don't want intimacy, I just want to f*#k. I wasn't always like this. I used to want love. I used to want romance. That part of me is dying. I need to change. Hopefully NoFappers can lend me a (washed) hand.

I need to try to fix my relationship. It's not important that we are together or get married. But it's important that I heal myself and do my part to heal the relationship and the hurt I've caused her.