I only see my partner every few months. When we do get in the mood, I get aroused but not enough for me to ease into sex. I have a hard time as a woman not being in pain right before the deed so I've been scared of never being able to have sex again. I've been on nofap for a year and a half now. Even when he is having sex with me, I don't feel anything. At this point, I might not be able to enjoy it. I was considering a vaginaplasty to make it better because I do feel self-conscious about myself down there. I just think because I'm so tense it makes things difficult. I feel ashamed of myself and don't even like sexual anything anymore. I've been thinking of just being single for another couple of years and working on my leg muscles bc I don't even feel like a woman anymore.