I'm so depressed been trying to quit for 6 months. Gay OCD and everything

For a long time I have been addicted to porn only really straight porn and oh boy it would get me going up until a couple of years ago when I was 16-17 (now 19) I found transwoman porn and at first was disgusted by it and it was not really a turn on and then I started to jack off to this redhead who I thought was a girl them from there it was a on off thing I tried to quit from and was a initial reason to quit porn. Recently I have been trying really hard to quit but it keeps coming back to it I went about to two weeks a month ago and I started to get a little bit of my libido back and even managed to actually get a erection off a pornstar without even touching my dick. And then recently I met this girl who I kind of lost my virginity to and could not keep it hard with or even really cum which was embarrassing cus I really wanted to and she is so perfect and I love her but gets these negative thoughts about her which is weird. The main reason why I decided to post here is because I am so depressed and confused I cant get erect towards women anymore not naturally at least and have been getting weird thoughts consistently all day trying to tell me i'm gay and im even checking dudes out to see if I am and the worst part is I do not want to be gay not like there is anything wrong with it but I love women and the smell of a woman and the way they act. I'm just so sick of these thoughts I have even been getting these consistently over the past couple of weeks. I feel like I have no proper lust for women right now. Me and this girl I consider us together but I keep getting negative thoughts all the time which is distracting me from her like trying to convince myself im gay or something or we are just friends and so on I even look at other women and try nad picture myself with them. And I then have a anxiety of talking to good looking guys in case I feel something. I don't want to be gay I want to be be with girls but my sexual feelings and emotional are all over the place right now. I fee like i'm constantly trying to test my sexuality and emotions and its like im trying to convince myself im gay all the time even at work its like I naturally look at girls but try and test myself by looking at men. I feel so depressed like life is not even worth living. Will these thoughts go away I want to get married to a woman one day and have children and I want to be able to have a woman without the fear of losing a erection but at the moment I have no libido for anything and these thoughts are driving me insane.