I'm so lost, i just don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by DeadAngel47, Oct 22, 2019.

  1. DeadAngel47

    DeadAngel47 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, im sorry if this is the wrong forum im posting this thread on.
    Oct 20th was one of the most Messed up days in my life, my long term girlfriend just broke up with me, and I'm so lost, im failing over and over again. I had a relapse the last week of September and it's been really hard to move on. I just don't know what to do....
     
  2. Oceanman1

    Oceanman1 Fapstronaut

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    Man your acting so weak and pathetic, act like a fucking man. If your letting outside forces control your emotion that shows you. Also if she broke up that just proves it wasn’t meant to be man damnn!! Get over yourself there are people with worse shit then what we are both going through. Anyways I’m best regards and hope you become something of yourself.
     
    TheLightOne and DeadAngel47 like this.
  3. ELITE2BE

    ELITE2BE Fapstronaut

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    When a door closes another opens you know?
    Life is full of struggles and calamities. Many souls in this forum and outside are going through much more serious hardships than a breakup. Think of it as a chance to be a free man. Open your eyes and see the light. As oceanman1 said, if she broke up with you it just wasn’t meant to be. You never know what the future holds for you, have faith, be optimistic. It is just going to get progressively easier with time, given the right mindset.

    Take good care of yourself dear brother and stay blessed.
     
    PeterGrip and DeadAngel47 like this.
  4. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

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    Despite what others seem to be implying, it's okay to feel bad. It doesn't matter how hard others have it, this shit hit you hard and we can never fully understand why, nor do we need to. It feels bad to you and that's all that matters. And it's perfectly okay, because people are different and you can't control your emotions.

    What you can control however is how you act and what you do. Do realize that it's not the breakup that makes you relapse and be lost, it's the fact you allow yourself to do those things.

    It's hard and you might feel like resting for a while, but unfortunately in times like this you need to be able to be strong and pick yourself up. And that doesn't mean that you can't feel bad or want things to go back to the way they used to be. But you need to realize that you are in control of your actions and all that matters is that you use that control to be the best version of yourself. Think about what kind of man you want to be, what things you want to achieve and what kind of mark you want to leave on this world and go for it.

    And hey, maybe for now those goals include you getting back togethet with your ex. That's okay. You want what you want. But realize that even if she is the right one for you, she will never want you back unless you become the man you are meant to be. The man you want to be. And once you have become that man, if she still doesn't want you back, you'll see that you never needed her and there is someone so much better waiting for you. And no matter what happens, you'll be fine.

    As a fan of tarot readings, I'd like to tell you the meaning of card Death as I've come to understand it. Death doesn't mean a physical death, although it can be just as scary for very similar reasons. Death symbolizes change. Something old must die for new to be reborn. We need to be able to let go of the past in order to live in the moment and move forward. Oftentimes we are affraid to let go of the familiar and face the unknown future. We might expect it to be automatically worse than the status quo, but if we learn to accept it as it is, we might find out that it's just an opportunity for us to grow and develop into something greater and more beautiful.

    So rise like a phoenix from the ashes of your old life. Start rebuilding on the ruins of your past and once you are done and this is all way beyond you, you'll be able to view this breakup as one of the best things that ever happened to you.
     
    Hold it in, PeterGrip and DeadAngel47 like this.
  5. DeadAngel47

    DeadAngel47 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you all so much for all the advice. I hope everything gets better, 'cause i know this pain is temporary. Thank you so much again.
     
    Oceanman1 likes this.
  6. You_ll_succed_for_sure

    You_ll_succed_for_sure Fapstronaut

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    ah dude. This pain. Be brave.
    Do something that you want to do as a man. Try to forget her for your soul well being and don't fall in PMO.

    We are with you.
     
    DeadAngel47 likes this.
  7. DeadAngel47

    DeadAngel47 Fapstronaut

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  8. Yeah, breaking ups does not feel good but it will go past, weeks, a month. Think the positive sides,
    you weren't pose to be together after all, and it sucks to be in non-functional relationship,
    you'll get better one, and it is better be alone than in bad relationship, it is better for you.
    (even though i don't have info what was the break up reason but i suppose, usually non-functionality)

    Maybe violating some nofap principles but i might do like this:
    1. indulge by fapping to point of full satiety and where all the bad things got out
    2. decide to take control the life, improve self, being stronger
    3. start hell of a nofap streak never experienced before

    Good luck, things will be better! :)
     
  9. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn't encourage anyone to cope with bad things by fapping. Using fapping as a bad coping mechanism is one of the reasons some of us got addicted in the first place.
     
  10. Bragi

    Bragi Fapstronaut

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    The girl left you...
    You won.
    Cause you lost someone who didnt love you,
    She lost someone who loved here.
    Should you care? No. When youre lost, one thing will help - time.
     
  11. Yeah i see that point, but, just sometimes there could be also moments for "reboot" :D
     
  12. Captain!

    Captain! Fapstronaut

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    Indulge by fapping definitely does not help, it is a vacuum that can never be filled because of its highly addictive nature due to its involvement on our dopamine receptors and deltafosb.
     
  13. What i meant, was, basically althought fapping is addictive, there is still limit, it gives satisfaction,
    and satiety for like one day, though it depends, then it's time to move on. Some people has "band-aid"
    relationships after broke up, fapping could be something likish.

    But yeah people are different, my reaction could be to break up like f*k this is so f*ked up, partially
    shocked, some anger, some hopelessness, some sadness, maybe one time/day "reboot" = relapse, and because of
    strong pack of feelings on the background, it actually gives assertiveness boost, which makes it
    easier to take next step. To the looooong nofap streak. :D
     
  14. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

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    Get drunk as fuck, burn and go into big sorrow..... u have right to do it. Then wake up and just revive from ashes and live new phoenix life.
     
  15. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Everyone here is telling you to not feel bad and act like you don't care. Do not listen to them, feel bad. If you don't, it will come later but worse.
     
  16. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    If a breakup makes your emotions, psyche, mind and mental state go bananas and you feel like it is a life-changing event for the worse, you are being controlled by your ego which feeds on external sources and the approval of others. It is never satisfied but will rather seek, seek and demand something from the outside in order to feel satisfied.
    From a more concrete, direct and practical standpoint, it means you have let big parts of your personal happiness, satisfaction, well-being and health revolve around that "special one" instead of focusing on self-improvement and building up a great life beside that relationship. Hence the emptiness felt when one of the few sources of your personal happiness is gone.
    Because a man who feels satisfied with himself, his life, social circle, friends and family will never feel that his life falls or rises by the company of a woman. She is the icing on his cake but will never become the cake itself.

    So, I suggest the best thing you can do is to focus on self-improvement (better habits, taking better care of yourself), read a lot, develop new skills and meet new people so you can expand your life perspectives and find joy in the little things while enjoying the long-journey it means to become a better and more grounded man. A man who stands out from the big and mediocre crowd of men out there who are ruled by their egos and external factors in life.
     
    ares72 and Captain! like this.
  17. Captain!

    Captain! Fapstronaut

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    very nice
     

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