I'm so, so far gone

Have you really undone your progress though? think about it before your 64 day streak you had nothing. Now you have experience with self discipline and self respect for 2 whole months. Channel your energy into the good that you do. Where do you see yourself being in 5 years? Does the best man you want to be come to mind? If not then there's something wrong with the way you look at yourself currently.

I'm sorry that you are living in very shit circumstances, I really am. But I'm sure you'd rather have change than sympathy. I know lockdown is making it tough to socialise, but trust me it gets better man. You say you've been battling this addiction for 2 years - But in comparison to the next 10 years of your life, that ain't nothing. You are learning no matter how many times you relapse. Have you thought about picking up some long term goals like getting stronger/ fitter? I found it to help quite a bit for me starting off.

 

Sorry to hear that you're struggling.

I personally don't know anyone who has beat this addiction on their own. Could you access therapist?
You've done 64 days and that is great, don't lose your hope.

 

Maurice, you still so young and you have your entire life ahead of you. Your future self will look back and thank you for struggling all those years. I'm 24 now and wish I started NoFap when I was your age. What I would give to have all those years back.

Binging is not good. I've done that before. But it's ok. Pick yourself up, take some time, and really focus on your why.

Why did you start this? Why do you want to break free from this addiction? If your why isn't big enough, maybe you need to find a new "why." I have 3.
1. To draw closer to God
2. To heal relationships and get better at building new ones
3. To repair my broken view of women

Figure out why you are wanting to do this. 64 days in amazing. You've shown that you have discipline and motivation. Rediscover that spark, and you can break free once and for all.

 

I'm 24 now and wish I started NoFap when I was your age. What I would give to have all those years back.

How old were you when you started NoFap?

 

I feel you. I have been all alone with this addiction for a while. I am 23 now and I live with my parents. They have been supportive when I confessed over 10 or 11 months ago. But they have aged over 50 or 60s and with me living in a country where our society aren't free and knowledgeable enough to talk about these things had led me to not bring my addiction enough. I have one or two close friends but they don't know much about this. I think most people who are addicted to it from their adolescence have been very socially isolated. I don't know. I am still struggling with addiction. Its been a year I guess since I started NoFap. Things I might just suggest to find new things or possibilities in your life. Like playing sports or musical instruments. Try having hobbies which peak your interest. Adopt a pet. Even if its a stray dog. Do social work. Empathize people. Get a job of any kind. Go to a therapist. Join communities.
Try looking at small things that might help you find your big goals. Honestly I am really struggling with this myself. I already relapsed two days ago. I have a strong a temper and I am really feel pessimistic about myself. I hope this helps.

 

Damn I have been asking this about myself for quite some time now. I honestly don't know. I wanted to improve my attitude towards things that I am pursing. I wanted to be an comic artist but this has bitten me due to addiction and the brain fog has damaged my mind into not feeling what I wanted to be. Although much more recently something else had also peaked my interest but I am not sure about it yet.

 

Your definitely not alone going through this addiction, there are so many people on here going through something similar that I'm sure would love to support you through this. I would recommend looking into finding an Accountability Partner(AP) that seems to help a lot of people.

 

Breaking free from porn is a journey. The longer you keep at it, the more you will understand your addiction.

When I first started, the only thing I cared about was getting "NoFap superpowers." Then some days on NoFap, I would still feel like crap and relapse.

To get to your why, you really have to introspect. My brother, who is now porn-free (one year) told me that porn is never the ultimate problem. It's a symptom of a bigger problem in your life. Figure out what that is (Boredom, Loneliness, Social Anxiety, etc...) and fight to defeat that issue as well.

Maybe you feel like life has no meaning. Go create some comic book art! Pursue new interests. It sounds like you have some serious talents. Hope you can rediscover joy and find your why very soon.

 

I think we need to find a lifestyle in order to really make changes. One of these lifestyle changes for me was finding God and becoming spiritual. Sometimes in hard moments there is nothing more than an unseen power to help.
Find tools for your self-improvement. Thants my advice