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I'm so tired, alone, sad...

For Fapstronauts of the Catholic Christian Faith

  1. JMarcus

    JMarcus New Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone!! I'm a 32 year old person, addicted to Fap since more than 15 years. Many times I was tried to fighting with this personal problem, each time with worse results.

    I read everything and listened to everything in order to face this, but the years and different circumstances have only made me have the odds absolutely against it, worse still with this unfortunate situation of pandemic of the covid-19. Trust is on the ground: I pray, I do things and I pay attention to them so as not to be aware of this, but in the end I keep falling, I keep falling, and I keep falling. I know it is a daily battle and maybe for the rest of life, but I have been coming like this for a long time without much results. I don't know whether to ask for advice or better listen to your personal testimonials. Greetings to all, God bless you.

    PD: sorry by my poor english, my language is latin spanish...
     
  2. Tryin' Hard

    Tryin' Hard Fapstronaut

    Don't worry about your english - I understand you just fine. :]

    I know how painful it is to experience the trying and trying but not going anywhere. But God often teaches us through our failings. Look at the whole OT - it's really the story of humanity's failure. Sure, God was with them this whole time and they very often prayed but still, by their own power they couldn't follow God's commandments. So God sent his son. This is not a fight you need to complete alone. God is with you. Just keep striving. Persevere, even through the pain, even through the loneliness. God is with you.

    It is so, so, good that you've been praying through this. Don't stop. In fact, do more: pray the rosary. If you already are, step it up and pray three sets of five mysteries (Joyful, Sorrowful, Glorious) like the Blessed Mother has asked. Continue to cover yourself with the shield of faith.

    And try new tricks - identify the times/places you're most likely to fall and avoid them. When you feel tempted, distract yourself with something good like a hobby, a walk, or exercise. Don't try to face temptation head on, that's like trying to stand up to a charging bull. Just sidestep!

    I'll pray for you in my rosaries today - let me know if you need any more support or when you're feeling down and I'd be happy to pray for you.
     
  3. JMarcus

    JMarcus New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks by your words and encouragement!!! Listen or read life experience from other people is some that always help me to rise up again.

    I need it so much: prayers for my soul and support for my person. Also I'll pray for you my friend, for you happiness... God bless you!!
     
    Tryin' Hard and Swazzy 1 like this.
  4. PatrickJames

    PatrickJames Fapstronaut

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    I have been addicted to PMO for 45 years. I suffered in silence. Finally when I began sharing with others I realized that I am not alone, others are overcoming the addiction and feeling good about themselves, so I can too.

    I would say to educate yourself about porn addiction. There is a lot of information at the NoFap home site. And spend time here sharing with others. There is a Spanish thread on this forum too. Pero, tuyo Ingles es mas mejor como mi espanol. Podemos ayudarte aqui.
     
    JMarcus, Johnthesavage and Swazzy 1 like this.
  5. Ciceron

    Ciceron Fapstronaut

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    Buenas JMarcus,
    entiendo tu situación. La cuarentena ha favorecido las ocasiones de pecado, y en mi caso, la presión del trabajo ha sido su principal motivador. Está bien que reflexiones sobre tus caídas y encuentres similitudes entre ellas, como los estados de ánimo, los lugares, el acceso a Internet, la soledad, la falta de ejercicio, los pensamientos... Así podrás identificar mejor el origen y empezar a combatirlo de raíz.

    Como recomienda Tryin' Hard, acude frecuentemente a la oración, especialmente a la del Santísimo Rosario, así como a los sacramentos, sobre todo procura la confesión y comunión devota, evitando caer en lo rutinario. Ten un rato de lectura diaria religiosa, aunque sea pequeño -pero, como dijo De Maistre, no hay nada grande en la Historia que no haya tenido pequeños orígenes-. Puede ser la vida de un santo, por ejemplo. Te recomiendo por su sencillez e inteligencia Cartas del diablo a su sobrino, de C. S. Lewis. Y si quieres formarte, investiga sobre el pecado de la Acedia, al cual suele conducirnos sin darnos cuenta este feo vicio.

    Suele ocurrir, no sé si será tu caso, que antes de acabar en la masturbación pases por la pornografía, y para llegar a esta hayas tenido malos pensamientos y deseos. Identificar estas fases es importante a mi juicio, y nos permite ir levantando murallas para evitar los ataques del Maligno. Pon un controlador en el móvil, si tienes guardadas imágenes indebidas bórralas y luego elimínalas también de la Papelera, haz tus estancias en el cuarto de baño más cortas, procura no llevarte las manos a las partes íntimas sino es por motivos higiénicos... Una de las cosas principales es custodiar los sentidos: ojos y tacto sobre todo. Por ellos se suele abrir las grietas en las murallas.

    Finalmente, un consejo que puede resultar paradójico: estas batallas se ganan no librándolas. Es decir, cuando tengas una tentación huye, literalmente. Hay que tomarlo en serio si queremos ser libres de este vicio y pecado, para conseguir -Dios mediante- la virtud y su Gracia. Si, por ejemplo, estás al ordenador y comienzas el recorrido que sabes que no va a acabar bien, vete de la habitación a hacer otra actividad que implique distraer tanto la mente como el cuerpo. No creas que se va a quedar en "mirar un par de cosas" y luego lo dejas. La carne es débil y al final se convierte en una pendiente resbaladiza. Y si resulta en que ahí te detienes, en la memoria -otra vía para la tentación- se habrán quedado y será cuestión de tiempo que vuelvas a masturbarte.

    Un saludo y recuerda: Omnia possum in eo qui me confortat.
     
    JMarcus likes this.
  6. Ciceron

    Ciceron Fapstronaut

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    Hello JMarcus,
    I understand your situation. Quarantine has favored occasions of sin, and in my case, work pressure has been its main motivator. It is good that you reflect on your falls and find similarities between them, such as moods, places, Internet access, loneliness, lack of exercise, thoughts ... This way you can better identify the origin and start fighting it at the root.

    As Tryin 'Hard recommends, he frequently goes to prayer, especially that of the Most Holy Rosary, as well as to the sacraments, especially seeking confession and devout communion, avoiding falling into routine. Have a daily religious reading time, even if it is small - but, as De Maistre said, there is nothing great in history that has not had small origins. It can be the life of a saint, for example. I recommend you for his simplicity and intelligence Letters from the devil to his nephew, by C. S. Lewis. And if you want to train yourself, investigate the sin of Acedia, to which this ugly vice usually leads us without realizing it.

    It usually happens, I do not know if it will be your case, that before you end in masturbation you go through pornography, and to get to this you have had bad thoughts and desires. Identifying these phases is important, in my opinion, and allows us to build walls to avoid attacks by the Evil One. Put a controller in the mobile, if you have stored improper images, delete them and then also delete them from the Trash, make your stays in the bathroom shorter, try not to take your hands to the intimate parts but for hygienic reasons ... of the main things is to guard the senses: eyes and touch above all. They usually open the cracks in the walls.

    Finally, a piece of advice that may be paradoxical: these battles are won not by fighting them. I mean, when you're tempted, run away, literally. We must take it seriously if we want to be free from this vice and sin, in order to achieve -God through- virtue and His Grace. If, for example, you are at the computer and you start the journey that you know will not end well, leave the room to do another activity that involves distracting both the mind and the body. Do not think it is going to stay in "look at a few things" and then leave it. The flesh is weak and in the end it becomes a slippery slope. And if it turns out that you stop there, in memory -another way to temptation- they will have stayed and it will be a matter of time before you masturbate again.

    Greetings and remember: Omnia possum in eo qui me confortat.
     
    Swazzy 1 likes this.
  7. Please do not be discouraged JMarcus. It is a process with many stops and starts.

    My suggestion, which I tell everyone, is pray the Rosary every day. Make it a habit.
     
  8. PatrickJames

    PatrickJames Fapstronaut

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    Praying the Rosary is a wonderful habit!!!

    Have you read "True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin" by St. Louis de Montfort?

    It is a game changer.

    Blessings,

    Mark
     
    Legion OM likes this.
  9. Creo entenderte de algun modo, yo tambien trataba de luchar con la tentacion, pero lo ideal es no luchar directamente sino indirectamente, es decir distrae tu mente con algo poderoso, como estudiante de ANtropologia filosofica dejame decirte que el alma que anima tu cuerpo tiene dos operaciones fundamentales, la primera operacion es tender hacia las cosas espirituales (si quieres imaginartelo seria como tender hacia arriba) y la segunda operacion que realiza es animar el cuerpo (imaginatelo como tender hacia abajo), cuando una pasion/emocion/sentimiento de M o ver P te asalta, entonces la operacion de tu alma que tiende hacia abjo lleva la delantera, la unica manera de salir victorioso es realizar una operacion que cambie el "movimiento dle alma hacia arriba" haci las cosas del espiritu, pues el alma es una sola y no puede hacer dos cosas al mismo tiempo (tender hacia la carne/abajo y tender hacia el espiritu/arriba) de modo que cuando la carne reclama le quita todas las energias al alma de tender hacia arriba, y usualmente caes en el pecado,
    ¿como solucionarlo? hay que darle un "shock" al cuerpo para que la pasion/emocion se detenga y permita que tu mente cambie de modo carnal a modo espiritual, el problema radica en como lograrlo, lo ideal es una ducha de agua fria, eso siempre me funciona, pero el problema con esa solucione es que no es practico estarse duchando 20 veces al dia con agua fria verdad?
    ¿como sustituir el agua fria? Personalmente me ha funcionado lo que recomiendan de las ligas de caucho en el Getting started book de NoFap, osea te pones unas tres o cuatro ligas (de esas bandas elasticas de plastico que venden en cualquier papeleria) en cada muñeca y cada vez que te venga una tentacion jalas las ligas lo suficiente para que al soltarlas te de un buen golpe en tus muñecas/antebrazos pero no tan fuerte que se vallan a romper, con el golpe y el dolor que producen las pasiones de querer pecar de M desaparecen (tal vez no al primer latigazo de la liga pero creem que despues de 2 o 3 se van totalmente) es como si el dolor ocacionara que la mente pasara de modo carnal a modo mas espiritual, yo asi le he hecho, llevo un par de dias practicandolo y de verdad me ha funcionado (ademas apoyo con un poco de jaculatorias como Jesus salvame que peresco o Jesus ayudame, o Ave Maria Purisima, esta ultima es mortal para el demonio) se que suena muy facil para ser verdad pero creeme que he intentado de todo y esto me ha funcionado hasta ahora, solo jalas la liga y zaz! el dolor te aleja el modo zombi enq ue te encontrabas por la pasion y te deja en modo normal, eso si, simepre usa las ligas (o bandas elasticas) hasta cuando te vallas a bañar pues hasta ahi llegan las tentaciones, incluso al dormir usalas, pero que no te queden apretadas si no solo justas, pues si son muy apretadas te pueden ocacionar problemas serios de circulacion en las manos, Diso te bendiga y ofrecere la Santa comunion de hoy por ti

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Legion OM

    Legion OM Fapstronaut

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    @PatrickJames I read a couple of chapters of True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin once, this book has been sitting on my shelf for a while, Ill start reading it agin!
     
    PatrickJames likes this.

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