i'm thinking about sleeping with a prostitute

@Veritech Fair enough. I appreciate your confession. I guess if your wife views PMO and seeing escorts on equal footing then your actions make some sense. This just goes to show that we are all on different paths. I hope the path you have chosen gets you to where you want to be. Good luck.

 

Where is it required that I need to discuss/share my personal life with people? Certain things (such as finances/politics) are just off limits. End of discussion.

 

I tend to be a libertarian on this issue. The state has no place in the bedrooms of We the People.

If two consenting adults exchange a service for money, then it should be legal and nobody else's business.

Around here we call this "capitalism".

 

It depends how u define consenting. If it is done by the consenting girl who has no other employment and does it not to be on the streets or because her self esteam is been completely shuttered and she treats her body with disrespect because she is hurting inside then she is not really consenting.

When her client is a PMO addict ridden by social anxiety and lack of social skills unable to get laid in any normal way ..... Than he is not truly consenting either.

Both are doing it out of desperation as a way of continuing self abuse to their souls and they are not even aware of it.

You can say that drinking alcohol is fine as it is done by the consenting adult, PMO is fine as it is done by the consenting adult, using drugs is fine as it is done by the consenting adult, suicide is fine as it is done by the consenting adult.

Well let me tell you, if those consenting adults were in the secure employment, had job satisfaction and financial security, loving husbands and loving wifes, children, supporting family and friends who truly cares for them. Do u still think they would pay for sex and risk loosing it all including of their health? Most of those consenting adults would not risk a perfect life for 15 min pleasure.

Well some do, over and over, and they do destroy their lifes, those are normally very sick people with many emotional and self esteem problems who are simply slaves to their desires and completely lack in self love.

Not a single child: a young girl or a young boy ever dreamt about sleeping with prostitutes or about being one when they were young. Not a single one of us sees this as a realisation of his/her life long dreams when we are young. Simiraly none of those children dream about wanking infront of their PC for 5 h per day for the next 40 years! Do you still call it a consenting choice? I rather see it as a symptom of a internal disease, pain, suffering, isolation, lack of self love and poor social and economical circumstances. Any self loving and respecting adult will not do things that are harmful to him/her. The problem is that all those people are not self loving and they do not understand that those things are harmful for them at that time of their lifes. It normally takes years and years of slow progressive degradation for all this people to wake up alone, on nofap, attending AA meetings or sexoholics anonymous, drug rehabs or being treated for depression, divorced or by std clinics.

I believe that sooner or later we all get this lesson, the question is only how hard do we need to get hit by life before we do.

 

Capitalism is not perfect. But it has been the system that has led to the most prosperity that the world has ever known. We live in a meritocracy. The smartest will get ahead, while the less intelligent will be left behind.

Nobody dreams of being a garbage person, toilet cleaner or burger flipper in their youth either. But somebody needs to do these jobs.

Why should government tell us what we can and cannot do?

Less than a year ago, government told our gay friends that they could not marry. For what reason? If two adult people have fallen in love and want to marry, we should be encouraging it, not making it illegal.

Years ago, it was illegal for married women to use birth control pills.

Some states still have statutes forbidding oral and anal sex. Who is being harmed when two people in the privacy of their own bedroom partake in these types of activities?

If someone wants to eat a BigMac and drink soda pop every day and become obese, that is their own business.

How many people on this forum (outside of Washington State and Colorado) have smoked a joint?

If someone feels that the best way to earn an income and put herself through college by selling sex (although I would never recommend it) the decision ultimately rests with the individual.

I chose to watch my first porn video. I became addicted. That is my own fault. I will overcome this addiction because I will persevere. Nobody owes me anything. I chose to become a premium member of NoFap because I will gladly share some money with the administrators of NoFap to offset some of the costs of administering this forum. Others may choose differently.

I can handle having the occasional drink. I can handle going to the casino. But other's cannot. How did prohibition work in the 1920s?

Of course if the prostitution is coerced and the prostitute underage, then this is and should continue to remain illegal. Two individuals who decide on a price to exchange for sex, in my opinion, is simply none of our business.

If prostitution were decriminalized and taxed, these women would be so much safer. Today, a prostitute being beaten by a pimp or john has no place to turn, without risking arrest. A regulated industry would be the best solution with respect to preventing STDs. Ironically, the safest place to prostitute or be a john today is in counties in Nevada where prostitution has been decriminalized.

@HopeFaith Great debate by the way. I also commend you for quitting smoking.

 

I did not say a single world about government dictating or prohibiting any actions. Funny that what is being said is being understood differently by different people.

There is difference between being a cleaner or garbige person and doing sex work or paying for sex that eats away on your soul, kills love and human compassion and violates your body with stds.

Have you ever heard of Cleners Anonymou or garbige man recovery forums? Nobody plugges a toilet to avoid lonliness or personal feelings of inadequacy or lack of self worth, those are different issues all together.

 

Hello friends, thanks to the OP and to all the people that replied to this.
I am 29 and still a virgin, I had thoughts of meeting an escort and having sex for the first time BUT, I think that the main reason was not accepting myself. Being PMOing for years has changed me along with other problems. I am really curious of how real sex is, and after my hard reboot, after I hit my normal weight and discover a new me, I want to get this on the list of "things to do". I really do not want to objectify women, but sex is a life experience, and if I am too shy to approach women, or I lack confidence, or my virginity has created a "fear wall" that prevents me from creating an affair with a lady. Well I could try out an escort, just to get rid of "the first time". I really do not believe anymore in "just wait for the right person, you have to be patient", that is bull**** for kids.

As someone said, when you try something, and you are a balanced person, it is not sure to become an addiction. In fact I use to drink alcool sometimes and never being addicted to that, I tried weed 1 time, and I am willing to not try that again. So the thing is, not everyone has the luck to be goodlooking, or have something that attract women. When a man finds himself later in his years not having any sex experience, would you not say that he could try it at least for one time?

As someone said, maybe the virginity is holding me back(and others) from approaching women, and building relations with them. Each one of us is different, and the when and how means a lot(in terms of having a decent experience). I am not planning on having sex with an escort right now, but I would not like to turn 30-something and still missing something that important FOR ME. Not because the society tells us that sex is important, not because I used to watch P, but because I want to live that experience.

I am more than willing in raising my confidence and socialising skills to meet more women and have a natural approach rather than the "easy way" of going down. But I do not give anything for sure, so I tend to be open to different possibilities.
AVE

 

I'm sorry my friend, but if you really want to have a sexual experience that bad then you can just try to improve yourself and find someone who cares about you. If you don't find someone by 30, you aren't trying.

The fact that you even are contemplating it shows sex is just too important to you. You could be worried about how your life will play out, not how old you are when you lose your virginity.

I promise you and so many people who have experienced this, a relationship, or both, they will always choose the relationship. If you truly can't wait till the right person comes around (it isn't childish bullshit, there are literally billions of people and statistically and through many people's experience is very possible).

If you go to prostitute, it is because you gave up and let your mind control you. You can bitch and whine all you want about "animalistic needs" or some gender role bullshit, but what it comes down to is that you just couldn't control yourself enough to make it to the right moment. Don't be that guy. Don't be those guys. You have control! Take it damnit! You are your own person, don't let society dictate whether you are a loser if you don't lose your damn virgintiy. I didn't lose mine until 19 and I am damn proud of that.

You don't need to have sex to be cool. You don't need to have sex for your animalistic needs. You don't need to have sex because you are a man/human. You can and will have to control yourself if you want to get through your life and to ge through your addiction. You just recently joined the Heirs. Get your shit together man

 

@TheAVExperiment, I agree with @Knight Solaire, going to a prostitute is like giving up. It's an easy way out of whatever sexual "problems" a person has, plus, just like with porn, contributes to an industry that shouldn't be around (whether you go to one on the street or through some fancy escort service in Vegas). I don't let my "failures" (which honestly they're not, they're learning experiences) with the ladies bother me, I use it to motivate myself to keep trying. Whenever I get upset about previous experiences not working in my favor, I focus on the positive, even something as basic as having the courage to approach them.

I'm in the same boat as you age and virginity wise, but as some one who has accomplished a lot recently by having to tough it out and put in the hard work (loosing weight, running a marathon and quitting pmo), I look at dating and sex in the same light. No fucking way do I want to have an easy way out, a quick fix, by pulling out my wallet. I want to earn it and experience the connection with someone who I had to put forth the effort to make.

Don't focus on the sex, instead focus on building your self-confidence and worth, and when you interact with girls it will show through. And don't go into approaches with that end goal in mind. Go at it with the intention to create an attraction and show that you want to get to genuinely know her. But most importantly, you gotta be confident.

 

Damn straight, great job making it to 90 and beyond

 

Hello brother, I thank you for this. Yesterday while reading this thread I thought "man I will never go with a prostitute, that's a bad idea". But before joining NoFap and starting my 90 days reboot, I have been thinking about it, so I am still walking on a rope of indecision(getting shorter with your help). You are totally right when you say to not get influenced by the society, I really hope that this reboot will help me in viewing my situation from a different point of view and will help me in focusing more on what is right, what is wrong and what I really want from life. I think that I am very lucky right now, because in the past I've been thinking of trying some fetishes, and try to figure this out: I go and try those things, then I discover it was P induced and I feel like a shit for my whole life.
I did read of someone that actually tried some stuff, just to discover it was not their taste, I really don't want to be that story since I have the chance to free myself. Joined this journey just in time.
You are right when you write "If you don't find someone by 30, you aren't trying.". While reading this I felt hurted, because that is the truth. Yeah I am not, I haven't been trying for years, because I did not like myself, my body and my mind, and as a result I had low self-esteem and confidence. Because of bad thoughts about people, even those around me, what PMO can do...

Dear friend I am really happy to read your entries, and I really hope that you will find a beautiful girl that will love you, because I think that you really deserve that. You could imagine the relief I had when reading about your story, "I am not the only one in that situation". I searched for virginity topics on the internet, and there are people that are still virgins at 40yrso or more. That scares me, I have to be honest, I don't want to miss those things in my life. And by those things I am thinking more about get loved, respected, cared about. Maybe sex is overrated, like porn, emotions are much more important.

You guys are probably the best thing that has happened to me in the last months, along with joining the gym and changing myself. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

Read everything. Overall, people like you view sex as some kind of scared ritual.

While I can agree that having sex to produce a life is special, and that having sex with someone you love is a magical experience, out of our prime sexual years that we have on this earth, not all of those years will we be able to have sex in the context of marriage or a loving monogamous relationship.

It is what it is, humans need to have regular sex even just for the sake of having sex to release built up sexual frustration, to feel the connection with another human being, and in particular for males, to subdue aggression and violent behavior.

You constantly bring up women being objectified, but if you actually speak with sex workers they will tell you that they actually want to be objectified and that they love having the job of providing pleasure to people who seek out their services for whatever reason.

I don't think you understand the kind of customers that need and rely on sex workers around the world. Many customers are disabled, they are widowers, they're too old, they're long distance workers, or they are people who are just too socially awkward to be with another human in any other kind of way.

You seem to think of the worse of sex work as if a woman is just helpless and just takes abuse from costumers. It's just not true. In voluntary sex work, the woman is in complete control from start to finish. They choose which customers they want to see, how much they will charge, what sex acts they will and will not do, and at anytime they feel uncomfortable they will terminate the session. Also, many customers pay sex workers to dominate them. How about that! It's called BDSM.

Funny how you have an issue with prostitution, but you say nothing about the hook up culture all across this country where males plow women with drugs and alcohol in order to be able to be able to have sex with drunk and unconscious women. To me that's rape, and plowing a woman with drugs and alcohol is corrupting her and setting her up to be an addict in her future, but nobody says anything about that because everybody thinks getting wasted at a frat party/bar is "so kewel!".

 

Careful @lucky007 .

I agree with you 100% that escorts are not victims and I am a firm believer that 2 individuals making a business transaction is private and is nobody's business but their own. I also agree that sex with a prostitute is far more satisfying than watching porn and the feel of one's own hand. I totally agree that a sexual tryst with a drunk sorority girl can have horrible repercussions after sobering up, including the risk of becoming a registered sex offender for life. Professional escorts practise safe sex, thus risk of STD infection is not an issue.

Where I part company with you is your view on relationships and money. Studies after studies have shown that the people with the most satisfying sex lives are married people. The media and porn industry would have you believe otherwise. All different kinds of people meet, all different kinds of people fall in love. That is not fantasy.

Also, a "quality" escort costs a lot of money - as opposed to a street hooker. Increase the costs significantly if you are paying for the hotel room. If you become a "regular client" this can cost thousands upon thousands of dollars which could be spent on better things, such as a down-payment on a home or a car.

If there is a "victim" in the transaction, I believe that it is the john who is spending his life savings on a few one hour encounters.

The last thing we seek in life is to be both lonely and bankrupt.

 

We actually agree. Married couples who get along have more personal satisfaction and better sex lives.

In regards to the rest of your post, I respectfully disagree. The most expensive way to keep female company is to marry her as marriage is a form of adoption.

Also, males don't go bankrupt through patronizing sex workers, males go bankrupt through going through a nasty divorce where they not only loose everything, but they get stuck with high child support and/or alimony payments. In fact, in some States, males are stuck with paying lifetime alimony.

If you don't believe me just read the stories: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=75107

http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=74731

 

Men actually wish they were able to declare Bankruptcy during a nasty Divorce.

A declaration of Bankruptcy does not discharge the insolvent husband from his child support and alimony obligations.

Bankrupts are forgiven from their debts. Ex-Husbands are left to bleed forever.

 

We're the same..
Luckily I'm poor

I'd rather buy food

 

Lol, but you forget about children and being a responsible adults here. Why should the woman pay all the cots? Responsibility should be shared and every time u have sex u risk making babies even if protection is used, even with prostitutes. Action have consequences with everything in life, the sooner we learn that the sooner we straighten out act together the better for us.

If you do not want to pay child support then stick to MO. You can not blame children for you wanting sex. You can not blame them for lack of your or your wife's ability to make it work with between you two and it always takes 2 to tango.

 

recoome, I have had the same thoughts and feeling lately. I haven't had sex for 2 and 1/2 years because of my porn addiction and self confidence issue. I've thought a sex worker would be a good way to get back in the groove, but after careful thought I've decided that it's basically just the same as masturbation, just getting someone else to do the act for you is little better than doing it yourself. Sex is about the connection with another person, the emotion, not the physical act itself. That's what you want for your first time. Not some soulless quick shag and go. Put your self out there, get on a dating website if need be, and be honest about who you are. I know its hard but sure you'll be surprised at what can happen when you open up.

 

I totally agree (with the exception of me forgetting about children and being responsible adults). I was making the point that using prostitutes on a regular basis can lead to Bankruptcy. It was then mentioned that a messy Divorce can lead to Bankruptcy as well.

I just pointed out that one cannot escape their support obligations by declaring Bankruptcy. The reasons that you provide are exactly why child and spouse creditors are treated differently than other creditors. Also note that student loans survive Bankruptcy as well.

Divorce Attorneys have a funny saying that they explain to their male clients, "You Play, You Pay!"

 

Cigarettes kill people as well. They are still legal. You started smoking and you began the process of slowly shortening your life. You then (I would suspect it was a difficult venture) quit smoking, prolonging your life.

Gambling destroys families. Yet even the government promotes the lottery. Alcohol destroys lives as well.

Fatty foods has led to obesity, diabetes and stroke.

My default position always rests with choice. Prostitutes and johns can negotiate whatever acts at whatever price. If the john wants meaningless sex and the prostitute wants money and the parties are in the privacy of their own hotel room, who am I to tell them they can't?

Should we be filling our jails with hookers and johns? Jails should be reserved for the fraudsters, rapists, thieves and murderers.