i'm thinking about sleeping with a prostitute

nigga that's rape

 

Not sure if OP is looking at this thread still but 10/10 do not recommend. This is how I lost my virginity and if I had to do it over I wouldn't sleep with a prostitute. The prostitute will not make a "connection" with you no matter how "grandiose" her services may be. I felt dissatisfied the first time, and I am guessing this is a common sentiment with guys who lose their virginity in this way. Also, once you open the door to paying for sex you will be doing it more than once. I recommend you enjoy the many failures and the happyness you will feel when a girl gives you that 1 shot, than to lose it through a business transaction.

It's your choice at the end though.

 

Agreed. Paying for it once makes it easier a second time and more after that.

For me.... it's partially financial. Would you pay 500$ to f%$^ a girl one time? She better be a damn hot girl....super hot.

Or you could take that 500$, and use it to go out on dates. Some dates will not lead anywhere, some will lead to more dates, and some will lead to having a girlfriend. Which you can then have sex with many times.... for free. So as a financial decision, dates are much cheaper. And they don't need to be expensive. Just going out with a group of friends could cost maybe 10$, going to a park is FREE.... BTW women love walks in the park, and so do I because it's FREE!

I think you made this post because you wanted validation of seeing a prostitute or you wanted to be talked out of it. I hope you take the advice of many people here and go for a real woman and not a fake one. You also may want to make some friends. Some real friends. If your friends aren't supporting you in your sexual frustration, they aren't real friends.

Also, I wish someone would have told me that is was OK to be a virgin. My friends made fun of me.. but now I see that they made fun of me because of their insecurity. They didn't think well of themselves and projected it onto me. Nobody helped me out, nobody gave me encouragement, nobody said... that cute girl is looking at you. Find some friends who build you up. Life's too short.

 

LEt me clarify, I didn't mean to equate spending time with women as a financial decision only. I mean it like this.... doing fun things sometimes costs money such as the movies, dinner, traveling etc. They cost whether you go solo, with friends, or on a date. So that's where I'm going with the financial idea. Not that you have to pay for sex with a prostitute or with a GF subtly equating them at some level.

 

I disagree. They wouldn't run for the hills if you were sincere about your desire to not do it again or were making steps toward a healthier life. We all make mistakes and do things we don't want to do. Some women (not all.. far from) go through periods of emptiness and sleep with a bad dude or several men for completely empty reasons. And some will regret it. People change and move on from bad decisions. I don't think paying for sex is an automatic dismissal. I think someone who automatically dismisses someone for their past doesn't have enough compassion. However, I do agree that if someone is actively seeking out things like that, then they should run... and rightly so.

 

It's not automatic dismissal, but it's really important information to consider. If I meet some girl who tells me she's had sex with 15 different guys previously, she might have worked hard to learn about herself and her motivations for that, built up her confidence, and grown and become a better person, of course that's possible.. But statistically, if someone has been that promiscuous, the odds of having a successful relationship long term are extremely low. It's a massive red flag and we don't have forever to invest time figuring these kind of things out. You can't determine that over a 1 hour conversation at the coffee shop.

And the same way, a guy who has patronized prostitutes might have done the same and figured things out, but the odds are it signifies pretty bad things if you want a happy relationship. I mean promiscuity in women and something like going to visit a hooker for men are both things that indicate a person has pretty much non-existent self-esteem.

Of course people can change, but the majority don't. The best indicator of someone's future actions is their past behaviour. And choosing a partner is probably the most important decision a person makes in their entire life, so it's a huge gamble to take when such a thing is in someone's history.

 

Oh good lord, come on man. Going to a hooker is not going to tell you anything of the sort.

 

Why can't you be both?

 

Woah,

I don't know about being bisexual, I don't consider myself to be....that's an issue that I know little about. But I do agree that seeing a hooker won't give you an answer. Do you need to see a therapist? There's no shame in that. I'm seeing one on and off while I'm working through PMO issues. They help a lot.

 

I think context is key. Some people don't change for lack of desire, lack of knowledge, or lack of hope that they can, or many other reasons. And you're right if the person doesn't want to change. But, I guess I believe in change and forgiveness, so I try not to write people off for what they did in their past. But, we all have our own criteria and I think your stance is reasonable.

 

Not that there's anything wrong with being bisexual, seeing a therapist to help you through the confusion I meant.

 

I support the notion of you visiting a therapist.

Sure, it is also needed for you to have the incentive first (you're not going to get anywhere if you're forced to visit), but getting to know yourself is one of the key points in psychotherapy, and one doesn't realize it before trying: it can do wonders. Your sexuality is one very good reason to visit one at least just a couple times.

Just keep in mind that not all of them work the same way. If you know a close relative or friend that might know a good therapist around your area, don't be afraid to ask.

 

I agree with this! In my opinion ( and with the help of this forum) escorts are a Pandora's box. I've had the thought to go see one since I'm rebooting, but it is basically replacing one addiction for another.

 

i don't think going to an escort is such a big deal unless you think there is some moral dimension to it. I personally don't - it's a service like any other. It's a shame that it's kept under cover by stupid laws in the UK - laws that protect no one, especially not the women. I've seen independent escorts over the years and most are ordinary very nice women making a living, often an excellent living. I avoid crumby parlours as I hate the idea of feeding people-smuggling and abuse. The best escorts are very good at helping you overcome your nerves and making you feel great. The sex can be gentle and tender if that's what you want. Don't beat yourself up about it.

 

I have visited many prostitutes and it is very damaging, if you think porn makes you objectify women, prostitution takes it to a whole other level. I am glad I am free from that now. But I still get the temptation to go back, the addiction is so powerful. If I had my life again, I would rather be a virgin than visit prostitutes. In terms of finding your "true" sexuality, I agree the a reboot would be the first stage.

 

The chaser-effect will be unbelievable. Just the ability to choose from the massive volume of sites, services and options made me MO to their ads and profile pics. Nothing moraly wrong with going, I say, but it won't help your reboot at all.

 

Don't do it, it will change you and not in a good way. I got very close to doing so many years ago. I went to some dark places but didn't go too far. I got out of it before I got into trouble, I'm very glad that I did. ☺