i'm thinking about sleeping with a prostitute

You make no sense, and you're resorting to fear mongering in order to make some kind of point.


People contract STDs from their married partners all the time, including HIV. And speaking of HIV, it's no longer a death sentence like it use to be in the 1990s so as long as you take your medication. That said, the only safe sex is no sex at all because being married to your sex partner won't protect you from contracting an STD if they decide to cheat on the side and bring something back home to you.
http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=61698.0

As far as living alone, I work with a lot of eldery people so I see how most peoples lives end up. In a regular marriage, it's usually the male who dies first, leaving the wife to live alone for even up to 20 years. Even if they had children some never come around to visit.

 

@recoome

It happened to me at age 25 in the 90s and I DO NOT regret it.

Why? At that time, I was on the outside confident and highly successful, but on the inside, I was shy and fragile.
A lot of women were interested in me, but I ran away or kind of rejected them.

Than I came close to a very hot woman, but when I told her that I was a virgin, she rejected me!
She openly said to me, she does not want to sleep with someone who has no experience, she cannot relax, she finds that burdensome.

That drove me to a prostitute. She was an escort, experienced, age 30+, who came at my home, and I had selected her very carefully, endlessly reading forums etc. With her, I learned the skills, it gave me great confidence. She showed me how to pleasure her, and she could really enjoy it. She was also quite a nice mature person, we could talk openly, she understood my intentions and it really went great.

Of course, when someone asked me about my first sex, I put a cover story around it. But it happened seldom that someone asked me anyway.

BTW, a half year later, the women I mentioned before came again to me. I had been running at top speed at a public marathon, that impressed her and she wrote me! We met and when I told her my cover story, she was even more excited, and we kisssed and had one great night. However, we both decided to go different ways then. I still see her sometimes, we loosely work together, but my feelings to her are just like a normal friendly relationship, nothing more.

 

Well u might work with he old people but I work in the health sector. U thing HIV is fun? It is true, there are meds but they have lots of side effects and people build up resistance and their life quality is nowhere close to that of a healthy person. It is not uncommon for the meds to make people very sick! They do not necessary die within few years but they will die from it it or its complication such as cancer. I am yet to meet a person who does not wishes they never contracted it in the first place. It is not only HIV that is a worry, the list is truly long.

It is true that many people get left alone in the old age but this is often outside of their control. I think it is crazy to live a life that would pretty much guarantie the lonley ending. It is not only that. Just see the pictures of people who spent all their lifes sleeping around! As they get older they look repulsive. Dirty old man is what they call them. The lack of empathy and their dirtiness can be seen in their looks even if they wear a suit!

I agree that STI are being introduced into the marrige but this is only because those people share your attitudes. The good thing is not everyone is like you and many people keep their marriges clean.

When you are a boy, have you ever dreamt about spending your life inbetween prostitutes? I am sure u wanted love at some point... Have you got hurt or rejected or let down in your life?

P changes people, it kills compassion, soul, humanity. When that happens a person is left with animalistic desires to meet their needs at all cost without even considering feelings. I believe you might be at this point where u want to live your life the way you see it on the screen. The more different girls the better.

Not feeling a compassion or sorry for miserable existence of other people is the modern world epidemic and you might never regain your humanity if you remain a slave to PMO or Prostitutrs or sleeping around. The sad thing is that once that part of us dies we are not even aware it is missing.....

Please watch this video. That man now knows that what he has lost from his heart and soul was priceless! He would now feels the pain of his actions. Everybody who engages in the unloving acts towards themself or others one day will feel their pain. It is just a matter of time.
PMO is harmful the same way as sleeping around with Prostitutrs or girls.

I do not expect to convince you but it always surprises me that with all this knowledge of dangers and risks associated with many behaviours some people still need to learn the hard way. It is really sad that so many can not benefit from the common knowledge out there and stop themself destroying their lifes.

 

It's unfortunate that secioty has such a negative view on sex workers.

Not everyone has the time, the looks, or the personality to be in relationships, or has the ability to successfully secure a mate. What? So should that person just sit at home and rot away in loneliness?!

Sex workers are in the same category as a massage therapist, or a psychologist, except, sex workers provide the missing sexual component that people need to participate in to feel like a complete human.

If people sit down and actually talk to a sex worker, they will find out that many sex workers actually love what they do, and they do it because there is no other industry where they can make a 6 figure salary with little, or no formal education.

Many sex workers have children to support, they are going to college, or they have elderly parents that they take care of, and for them, doing sex work keeps them out of poverty and puts food on the table.

As far as STDs, a person is far, far, more likely to catch an STD from a random person in a bar who often has sex drunk with no protection, then with a sex worker who uses protection every time, and takes the time to periodically get tested and stays up to date with their sexual health.

As a matter of fact, I saw a report once where a bunch of sex workers in a city were tested out of fear that they were the transmitters of HIV, and to the surprise of the testers, they found HIV to be much lower in the sex worker group then in the general population.

 

Yep thats true

 

I don't even know why you are here. You're a WOMAN. Why is a woman on NOFAP.com???? You probably get off on reading all of our intimate issues.

I'm not here to talk to a woman on a men's forum. My post are for MEN to read and I only want to hear from a MALE point of view!

 

I actually have a disabled friend that had sex whith legal prostitutes over 30 times and he is safe from stds but another friend who randomly picks up girls in bars just got diagnosed whith HIV 0.o

 

This is not a male forum but unisex. There is a woman section here too. Your attitude is turning me off quite quite sucessfuly so I am rather grateful for it as you are aiding my recovery in your own unique way. You have a lot of hate in you towards woman or anybody presenting opposite opinion to yours. Well, my understanding is that this forum is for those who wish to recover from PMO. Objectifying woman comes as a bypass of PMO addiction. Feeling hate towards the other gender is not uncommon during recovery. I get that too at times. I just wonder, if you knew that PMO was harmful to you years ago would you even start to PMO? Personally I feel you would as you seem unable to benefit from sincere advice.

Well, in that video you have a male porn star telling you how bad sleeping with prostitutes is so your gender related comment is quite out of place here. P actresses are prostitutes. It is not me woman telling you this. But you will not listen to him either. You insist on waking the same pathway and ending up in the same sad destination as he did.

Do you know that rats are far more intelligent with that respect than people?
When presented with a new unknown food, one rat would try it while the rest waits. If that rat then becomes sick or dies the rest of the rats would not touch that food. It is nearly impossible to kill all of them off! This is why the rat poison is often design with delayed poisoning effect as to outsmart the rats and kill as many as possible before the rest works out what is going on.

People on the other hand, see their mates become: sick, develop ED, social anxiety, inability to love, STDs, alcoholic liver disease, cancer from smoking, emotional pain.... but guess what? Many of us are unable to use that knowledge to our own advantage and we follow the path of destruction in millions! I find it truly amaising.

There is no reason to get stressed here. You will do what you want, it is your life. One day hopefuly you will see that I have only advised you with your good in mind. I have absolutely nothing to gain by you destroying your life or making it better. I hope you can see that.

 

That is a very ignorant post @lucky007!

 

"'secure' a mate" ? You forgot,we are humans,not some objects to be conquered and play with.

Nope,Sex workers,in my opinion, don't provide the missing sex component. How many times people have been to prostitutes and felt satisfied? And by satisfied I mean real satisfaction.Instead,Sex workers kinda increase their loneliness,and maybe that's why people again and again and again go to prostitutes,hoping to find satisfaction.But Alas,You're searching for diamonds in a bag full of stones.How can you find it?

This point proves that they are lazy douche bags who just want to earn money without improving themselves or helping /loving others.You see,Money and Sex isn't everything in life.Yes,they are a part of life,but not the "life" itself.Almost everybody today wants just more money and money even though they don't have any idea what to do with that money.If money brought happiness,then USA would've been the most happiest country,but It is NOT.There wouldn't have been depression patients.So put a question mark on your beliefs.

Sex work is a RIGHT option ONLY when other options have been closed.But these people are afraid to do some hard work.There are several other good options to make money which would help yourself become better and somehow help the people.But just having sex for money and making people watch porn and destroying their lives won't let them be at peace from inside.They themselves know deep inside that what they're doing is right or wrong.

But If you look at another major cause of build up of porn industry,you'll find that those people aren't bad or something like that,nobody is bad.Everyone wants love,everyone is hungry from inside to get a little love from somewhere,get a little joy from somewhere.You see, Porn industry has been built because of the lack of love that people have given them.Porn industry is a rebel industry,shouting to change our ways of living that has been formed in past centuries.People have forgotten to love each other.That is why some people stepped outside of this cruel world and started their own ways of living.But that way is still wrong.They have found nothing there.But we still can change it,if we start loving each other,maybe their hearts can melt and they can return home.

Also,Using sex as a means to love others won't be great idea according to me; Personally, I would love one woman completely instead of loving 10 women incompletely by just having sex with them. Yes,it will take a lot of men to deepen the roots of love,and I say "men" , because I still feel we haven't lived upto the standards of women.We have just wanted their physical body for our pleasure,never loving them.We have WANTED them,instead of LOVING them.And women have been a little courageous,giving their hearts with blind trust to men that somehow they'll get love from them.But instead,we have played with them and probably continue to do so,especially "tomorrow",cause it's National Sex Day,as some say .We have never thought about what's inside that gorgeous body,a being, due to which the body is gorgeous.
I can only say about men right now,since I don't know what are the ways of loving for a woman.

P.S. - don't look at this as my hatred towards you,I have just written my opinions.I have no intention to hurt you.You are an Independent being with his/her own thoughts and beliefs.

 

Virginity is something you need to lose, fast. The idea that it "means something" to lose it with a special person is bullshit. If anything, virginity is holding you back from experiencing true relationships with women you actually like.

Here's the reality:if you do not have at least some sexual experience under your belt, if you do not feel sexually confident around women, your chances of finding someone meaningful plummet to almost zero. The vast majority of women will write you off subconsciously as an inexperienced and timid guy. Women gravitate towards sexually experienced men by nature. That is reality.

I wish someone had told me this when I was young. I wasted so much time trying to build emotional connections first, which was completely in vain, while my friends were having sex and then building on those fun sexual encounters to something meaningful.

Do yourself a favor: see an escort and lose your virginity. The sooner you realize that sex is something easy and fun to do, and most of all lose your fear of it, the sooner you will develop a real relationship with someone you actually like. Stop holding yourself back.

 

I feel this is really poor advice. I think that the only thing that sleeping with a prostitute will do for someone is make them feel more confident around other prostitutes. I doubt that paying for sex would suddenly turn someone into some kind of "ladies man". If anything I think this would hurt someone's confidence knowing that they had to pay for sex. The physical act of sex comes naturally it's not something that you need to practice with a professional. I think that people would be better served by working on improving themselves (exercise, hobbies) and putting themselves in more situations where they interact with women rather than putting money in a prostitute's hand.

 

Look, I hear what you're saying. My problem is the invisible "wall of fear" that traps so many guys for so many years, robbing them of life. If a guy is scared of touching women, scared of expressing himself sexually, of being sexual, simply because of inexperience, then my point is that seeing a high quality escort to get rid of this initial barrier of uncertainty will help him break through to newer and better relationships. I think the mindset of losing your virginity to someone special is wrong. I think that sex is a building block to more intimate and emotionally deeper relationships that evolve from that fun experience of sex.

It does not mean that the man then only uses prostitutes from then on for the rest of his life. It certainly does not replace more intimate relationships and developing something special with a woman. What it does do is take away the suffocating and paralysing fear that many guys have about being sexual with a beautiful woman. It makes him see that the physical act of sex is easy, enjoyable, and nothing to be afraid of. From then on he won't have this huge psychological barrier making him timid and afraid around women.

If I ever have a son, I'm taking him to a Amsterdam or the Bunny Ranch when he is sixteen, guaranteed. I'm going to tell him from the moment he hits puberty that sex is a good thing. I would never let my son stay trapped in a horrible prison of fear and self doubt through his late teens and twenties. I would break that cage as soon as possible so he can actually live his life to the fullest.

 

Don't take that route, you'll just get caught up in more depression after its all said and done.

 

I believe with the average person being flooded with sexual material (whether on Scandal, some reality TV show, commercial or internet) every 30-90 seconds, it's no wonder people believe the end state of our existence is to have sex. So to the original poster, let's say you have sex with a hooker...then what? My guess is that you're going to be just as horny the next day, and possibly left with unrealistic expectation of women who don't work the streets. I'm about sex. In fact, the first 50 items on my Bucket List is, "have sex today." But please seek a healthy sexual option between to consenting adults. You'll be a better man for it.

 

I believe this approach worked questionably okay a few decades ago. When men were taken to an experienced woman to conquer his fears. But that was pre-internet and pre-social media. The 21st century has created an environment of less interaction, which of course has caused an increase in anxiety. Couple that with the average person seeing less long-term relationships to emulate, and you're left with a generation of men and women afraid to talk to one another because of fear of being rejected or offending the other. A hooker is not going to solve that. He (or she) will have to do it the hard way, take a leap of faith with 8 ounces of determination. Women still want confident men. Sleeping with a hooker is not going to make him confident, it's going to give him chlamydia.

 

It will make him confident with regards to the physical act of sex, as in "This is something that I have done before, and it is no big deal." When a young man is struggling with his self esteem, I believe that getting the physical act of sex out of the way would make a huge difference in his self confidence. It is a strategic move, is what I am saying.

Is it a long term fix? No. And like I said before it does not replace meaningful relationships. It is strategic in that he removes the fear of the physical act of sex and so has knocked down a huge barrier that may be holding him back from future sexual encounters. It would be like hiring an SAT tutor if you will. Why not use every advantage that you can use to gain success?

Look, we all know how it is when we are young: the sexually experienced guys get all the girls, and the ones who are trying to do things the "right" way get rejected and kept down. How many guys have been rejected at the last minute, or did their best but because of lack of sexual experience the woman picked up on it and shut them out. It's a perpetuating cycle. The one's who get rejected become more self conscious and thus are more likely to screw it up the next time, and the next.

Hopefully, the person trying to do it without any help is successful, but for many guys, they are not. Is it really worth the risk? I don't think so. I think it is much smarter to realize the fear, take controlled action to conquer the fear where the odds are in your favor, and then move on from there.

And with regards to the STDs, it's a myth. Yeah, if you go to a $10 crack whore then that's some stupid shit to do and you're playing Russian Roulette. But a high class escort, like you might find at the Bunny Ranch or in Amstedam at a private house, those women care more than you about their health. There is really no chance of contracting an STD with those types of women.

 

That'll not solve anything. It will make you feel cheap, dirty and paranoid about STD's. (And that's presuming you manage to go through with it/sustain an erection/work yourself to orgasm in the presence of a total stranger). So what if you've never had sex? You've had a wank. That is what it feels like more or less. It's more the difference between beans on toast and a Sunday dinner than scalextrics and and driving a car.

Make the effort. Give up porn, live healthily and get yourself out there. If you click with someone, can chat to them without feeling nervous, that's what is important. (not, so much, looks) And as you feel more deserving (through the efforts you've made) you'll be more relaxed talking to more attractive women. Look at the mistakes your friends made for the sake of sex, don't be as desperate as they were. Wait it out till someone good comes along.

 

And don't go for someone attractive and high maintenance just to have sex. Fuck them. Get someone nice, but less attractive and with it, any day.

 

SoI,
All good points. And I don't necessarily disagree. We all go into the bedroom with a little anxiety. The quicker we can reduce some of them, the better. Heck I've been having sex with the same woman since I was 14. Even after 30 years of sex, I can find myself a little nervous. But that's different, and again, I see your point. Having someone teach you the ropes is better than learning from porn, which is why NoFap membership continues to grow. Human interaction is better.