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I'm tired of starting over & over, losing hope...,but..

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by ꋫꑛꋫꁒ___ ꁒꐇꁒꐇꀗꌚꑛꐇ___, Jul 31, 2018.

  1. Greetings fellow fapstronauts,

    i’m 25 years old, recently graduated from a music conservatory with a bachelors degree, searching for a job, i’m aspiring to be a performing artist…I came across this platform after watching some Ted-Talk videos on youtube about how Porn affects the adult brain…so here’s my story;

    I started PMO-ing (not into hardcore stuff) after a friend introduced me to this movie scene from 'Harold and Kumar' (won’t go into details here) and have been doing so for about almost 10 years now.

    I wanted to quit it badly, i could notice some changes in my behavior;
    was always low on energy
    had absolutely no motivation to socialize with my peers,
    even though i had a few close friends i couldn't share these problems with them,

    My grades were all time low, neither could i share it with my family as they are conservative in their own ways…I don’t frequently PMO, only when i feel stressed out or have a bad day

    lately…

    i’ve tried to quit it for good ever since i started reading some content from the YBOP forum,
    this is what i've tried/done so far:

    Cold Showers (twice a day)
    Mindful meditation (downloaded an app on my phone 'Headspace') – 2 times daily
    Learning a new language ('Duolingo' app)
    Confessed about the situation to a close childhood friend of mine recently.
    Running for 30 mins in evening
    I'm on a healthy diet, home cooked food only
    Making electronic music (Lo-Fi) 'sometimes' (although i want this to become more of a habit!)
    I have tried almost every step from the advices given by others who have successfully rebooted but i keep relapsing time and again!!
    At most i was able to go 10 days without it but, i cave in and binge down hard!

    I'm constantly overwhelmed thinking about my past mistakes, and future prospects of a career in general.Most of my peers from college are either having a great time with their jobs or getting married. Hell i've never been in a relationship, barely talk to my parents & feel depressed in general. I just don't know what to do anymore!

    I'm losing all hope...
     
    Deleted Account and Joarturo like this.
  2. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    It's difficult to give advice because you are already doing the things that I find helpful, meditation, diet, exercise and other ways to pass the time. If it's any consolation, I keep relapsing after doing the same things. My biggest nofap run on the last year is probably just 2 weeks and I'm married with a kid.
    But I'm hoping this latest run, three days and counting, is the start of my rehab. All I can say is use these forums as much as you can and read up and porn addiction so you can understand why you are lapsing and take measures to tackle this. Let's beat this
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Thanks for the encouragement Hugosolace.
    I'm gonna give it another shot.
     
    Deleted Account and Hugoalsace like this.
  4. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    Good luck Sid, all the best
     
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  5. Goingtodothis21

    Goingtodothis21 Fapstronaut

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    As I say to a lot of guys on this site man, you're starting again now so you gotta stay strong! Sounds like you have some really good habits there especially the running. Focus on something like that, record your runs so you're looking at them on a running site feeling proud of yourself rather than looking at you know what. I know it's tough man but you GOTTA stick with it...I promise you it'll be worth it in the end!
     
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  6. fireblaster

    fireblaster Fapstronaut

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  7. JoePineapples

    JoePineapples Fapstronaut

    Keep going mate! It may be a tough struggle, but it's worth it. I think your tactics are sound – keep up with the meditation, exercise, diet and learning. Fill your mind with positive inputs.
    You're on a positive path – and those you're comparing yourself to – well, I heard something one along the lines of "Don't compare your unedited content to everybody else's "Greatest Hits". People only share the good stuff on Social Media (and the very, very bad stuff).
    Reliving your past mistakes – we all do it mate. Write them down – either on a journal here – or privately – and work out how you would avoid them if the situation happened today. Everybody makes mistakes, if you learn from them they become life lessons! As it says in my sig – It's what you do next that counts.
    Good luck Sid, rooting for you.
     
    Hugoalsace likes this.
  8. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. My advice is to try to do something that you really like something that could help out others so you could get much satisfaction out of it. I know that helps me a lot. It's when I'm feeling sad and anxious that I usually turn to googling junk. Stay positive, you got this!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  10. Alexanditor

    Alexanditor New Fapstronaut

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    [QUOTE = "SidTheRebooter, post: 1591401, member: 243434"] Saludos compañeros fapstronautas,

    Tengo 25 años, recientemente me gradué de un conservatorio de música con una licenciatura, en busca de un trabajo, aspiro a ser un artista de performance ... Me encontré con esta plataforma después de ver algunos videos de Ted-Talk en youtube sobre cómo Porn afecta el cerebro adulto ... así que aquí está mi historia;

    Empecé PMO-ing (no en temas hardcore) después de que un amigo me presentara esta escena de la película de "Harold and Kumar" (no entraré en detalles aquí) y lo he estado haciendo durante casi 10 años.

    Quería dejarlo mal, pude notar algunos cambios en mi comportamiento;
    siempre tenía poca energía
    no tenía ninguna motivación para socializar con mis compañeros,
    aunque tenía algunos amigos cercanos, no podía compartir estos problemas con ellos,

    Mis notas fueron muy bajas, tampoco podría compartirlas con mi familia, ya que son conservadoras a su manera ... No hago PMO con frecuencia, solo cuando me siento estresado o tengo un mal día

    últimamente…

    Intenté dejarlo para siempre desde que comencé a leer contenido del foro YBOP.
    esto es lo que he intentado / hecho hasta ahora:

    Duchas frías (dos veces al día)
    Meditación consciente (descargué una aplicación en mi teléfono 'Headspace') - 2 veces al día
    Aprendiendo un nuevo idioma (aplicación 'Duolingo')
    Confesó sobre la situación a un amigo cercano de la infancia recientemente.
    Correr durante 30 minutos por la tarde
    Estoy en una dieta saludable, solo comida casera
    Hacer música electrónica (Lo-Fi) 'a veces' (¡aunque quiero que esto se convierta en un hábito!)
    ¡He intentado casi todos los pasos de los consejos dados por otros que han reiniciado con éxito, pero sigo recayendo una y otra vez!
    A lo sumo, pude ir 10 días sin él, pero ¡me derrumbé y me atraganté con fuerza!

    Estoy constantemente abrumado al pensar en mis errores del pasado y en las perspectivas futuras de una carrera en general. La mayoría de mis compañeros de la universidad lo están pasando en grande con sus trabajos o casándose. Demonios, nunca he estado en una relación, apenas hablo con mis padres y me siento deprimido en general. ¡Ya no sé qué hacer!

    Estoy perdiendo toda esperanza ... [/ QUOTE]
    Ánimo, recuerda que los triunfos que nos presentan el mundo no siempre son verdaderos triunfos, a veces, la mayoría de ellas, son solo ruido, pero los logros más grandes muchas veces se ocultan en lo más profundo. La relación llegará en el momento en que deba legar y si no lega, es por algo. Ánimo, aquí estoy yo luchando contigo y seguro muchos más están luchando con nosotros. Ánimo, no desfallezcas, ánimo!!! te lo dice alguien que vive también en soledad, en silencio y algunas veces en melancolía.
     
    Joarturo likes this.
  11. LakeMichigan

    LakeMichigan Fapstronaut

    @SidTheRebooter welcome to nofap. When you relapsed the last time do you know what you were doing just prior to the relapse? What about that whole day ? I think reconstructing sequence of events will illuminate what is causing the relapse. So, I recommend you to start a journal and make an entry each day and especially when you relapsed. I gaurantee you that you will find patterns and if you cannot the newly formed community around you will!
    Start a journal and keep coming! You will make progress!
    I wish you good luck!
     
  12. Muchas gracias por esas palabras de aliento. Es bueno saber que no estoy solo en esta lucha. Me inspiro en este mensaje y sigo luchando.
    ¡Que tengas un buen día!
     

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