Im tired of this (please if someone is orthodox christian to answer me)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Dakeuen, Apr 22, 2020.

  1. Dakeuen

    Dakeuen Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys first sorry if my english is bad i hope you will understand what im tipyng. I'm on this forum for 1 year and now i have no longer faith that i will get out of this addiction. 1 year ago i realized that pornography and mastubration are bad for me and that they affect bad on my life. So i started to fight but i always failed, pornography was stronger than me all time. Also i had a family problems during my childhood and that affects on me as well. I was in the point in my life that i dont have a purpose in life and i was sick of everything. I'm an orthodox christian and what is most difficult to me is that i know i failed god so much and i dont stop sinning i always live in sin and that is difficult to me to overcome. I thought that when i talk with my priest that i will overcome this but i dont its still here and im still doing it. I relapsed 3 times during the lent (fasting before easter) and yesterday i relapsed after 22 days. Today i relapsed again and i dont know what to do anymore. PMO affects bad on my college life im not longer pain attencion on my classes. Sorry for the big post thanks for understanding everyone.
     
  2. Hey man, I'm an Orthodox Christian too. I also struggle with this addiction immensely. There's a wonderful story told by St. Paisios about a certain monk who had been an alcoholic since childhood: https://www.johnsanidopoulos.com/2012/03/elder-paisios-and-alcoholic-monk.html

    The moral of the story is that God knows you are fighting. This monk was still drinking at the end of his life, but he went from 20 drinks a day to only around 3 and that made all the difference. Despite the fact that he was still "failing" God, he was carried to heaven by angels. You have an especially strong inclination toward lust and God knows you fight an uphill battle. Your efforts to quit, even if you are still struggling to stop, mean a lot. You are fighting to purify yourself for the living God. You are on the long road to true repentance and I am sure God is happy that you have made this much progress. If you begin to feel that you're unworthy of the Lord, that is a lie of Satan. God loves you and all of heaven is rejoicing at your progress. The saints, the angels, and the most holy and perfect Trinity are all cheering you on. Isn't that amazing? Christ be with you!
     
  3. Hi man, let me share with you what helped me, what actually made a difference.
    You are at an advantage, for you realize it is sin, and wrong. Some don't. When I made this realisation I simply asked God for forgiveness, I then asked him to pull me out of it and he did. Something clicked and the demonic urge for porn has been weak ever since. Just do your best and then rely on God for what is impossible for you alone. And I should specify, I did not go to a priest. I prayed in private. Just me and God. Then I started reading the bible, starting with the new testament. Bible reading is definetly a part of walking with God and understanding him, which was the least I could do in thanks for what he had done for me.
     
  4. Dakeuen

    Dakeuen Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for replying it really means a lot to me!
    My priest told me that is normal to have sexual urges at my age I'm 19 and that i should never give up. I have maked huge progress since the beggining but when i fall every time it really gets hard to me especialy during the fasting. Fasting helped me a lot and attedance to liturgy and communion. The path is hard but the price is heavenly kingdom! Thanks again im so happy to know that other orthodox brothers support me. Glory to God!
     
  5. Hey Dak, I'm Orthodox as well.

    Perhaps you know the Russian story about the hieromonk walking from his monastery to serve in the village church. A curious villager asked him what he and the monks do all day in their monastery. The hieromonk paused in thought for moment and then he said, "we fall...and we get up again. We fall...and we get up again. We fall...and we get up again."

    Every single day until the day you die, you will fall, but you must get up again. Let your weakness teach you humility and remind you how utterly dependent you are on the love and mercy of Christ.

    It's especially humiliating, I know, to fail in such a holy season, when you've been trying so hard. You hardly feel worthy of celebrating Pascha. But my brother in Christ, you've only truly failed if you cease to struggle. The very fact that you pick yourself up is proof that do you love the Lord and desire to do His will.

    Remember: if Christ is risen, nothing else matters.

    CHRIST IS RISEN!

    Keep struggling, my friend, and rejoice in the mercy of your Saviour, who loved you before He made the worlds.
     
  6. Well said.
     
    Shneeperspeepers likes this.
  7. You_ll_succed_for_sure

    You_ll_succed_for_sure Fapstronaut

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    Friend, please see my signature, there is a thread for you, that my help you.

    Ask the Lord Jesus Christ to help you, He will.
     
    Dakeuen likes this.
  8. Dakeuen

    Dakeuen Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man for wise words!
    I dont know if you are orthodox but spiritual father (priest) means a lot to me. Fasting amd praying are two things that helped me most in this fight. Have a nice day thanks again for your support!
     
  9. Dakeuen

    Dakeuen Fapstronaut

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    Hi brother thanks for replying and for wise words!
    If god is with us it doesnt mather who is against us! I also pray to holy theotokos and st mary of egypt. You know if we are better today than we were yesterday its a progress.
    Orthodoxy is a way of life!
    CHRIST IS RISEN, INDEED HE IS RISEN!
     
    Eoghan mac Phádraig likes this.
  10. Some more thoughts on the matter:

    When you fall back into the same patterns of sin, (especially if you've managed to keep yourself free if them for a time) if you're like me, you feel enveloped in shame.

    It's very important that you understand that shame is both a punishment and a gift. It is a punishment in that it is a small taste of the eternal estrangement from God that awaits you if you do not repent. But it is also a gift, if you can accept it, an invitation from the Lord Himself to return and receive His forgiveness.

    It is of the greatest importance that you not allow your shame to keep you from going to confession and receiving the Eucharist. The whole point of the gift of shame is to bring you back, not drive you farther away.

    Remember that the Lord has told us that unless we eat His Flesh and drink His Blood, we will have no life within us. Let nothing keep you away from life. Stay strong, my friend, and faithful.
     
    Dakeuen likes this.
  11. Dakeuen

    Dakeuen Fapstronaut

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    Update: I relapsed on 11 day. Feeling bad again, nothing more to say.
     
    Eoghan mac Phádraig likes this.
  12. No need to say anything. Just pick yourself up and try again to carry your cross. Pray for repentance, forgiveness, and help. Above all, do not despair. Repeat this process as often as necessary, until you die. Be of good cheer, for God is with us.
     
    Dakeuen likes this.
  13. I just relapsed a couple hours ago, too. You aren't a failure, you are making progress. Just confess to your spiritual father and keep on going. We fall, we get up, we fall, we get up.
     
    Eoghan mac Phádraig and Dakeuen like this.
  14. Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

    Hi, I don’t want to sound discouraging, (I’m orthodox, too) and my experience with this site was not too wonderful. I was here 2 years ago trying to find comfort and support, and I found it in a way … On the other hand, being here didn’t help at all in the long term. I was trapped in the circle of trying and failure/relapsing.

    From my experience, the biggest failure of this site, most Christians here, especially non-orthodox is that they don’t recognize the real enemy. Our enemy is not porn addiction and onanism. Those are just poisons and reactions/consequences. The real enemy is the sin, and Apostle Paul tells us more about against whom we are fighting: "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." - Ephesians 6:12

    I’ve completely stopped with this addiction in December of 2019 (8 months ago). Few weeks (on my surprise) temptations started again (triggered by some anxiety). I thought I should maybe try here again, but I see that things didn’t change much. It’s nice to hear that you are not a failure and that relapses happen (no big deal), messages about love … but after a while, it became tiring and futile.

    My cure was a combination of daily prayer (rule by Seraphim of Sarov), fasting (it’s mandatory), reading of the Holy Scripture every day (especially holy fathers of the Orthodox Church) and work, keeping myself busy. Avoiding anything and anyone that can get me distracted. I don’t have a spiritual father, but I have our Lord Jesus Christ, his Mother Theotokos, and my best accountability partner – my angel guardian. Keeping icons, lighted vigil lamps, and burning incense (in the room where you spend the most time) also can help a lot.

    Some things that can help are reading about the life of Mary of Egypt, Moses the Black (big harlots and fornicators), the life of Andrew of Constantinople, Saint Niphon - Bishop of Cyprus, books by fr. Seraphim Rose, life and visions of Basil the younger and his disciple Gregory. There are also good books about the sin of lust and fornication by Russian authors, etc.
     
    Eoghan mac Phádraig likes this.
  15. Very well said. I agree completely with all the remedies you advise. This site won't cure anything. It's just a forum where people with a problem can give and receive support. The problem can only begin to be cured by daily prayer and resistance to thoughts, as well as the practices you've outlined above. Resistance to thoughts is especially important. Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica's book Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives is a good guide to that.
     
    Emanuil likes this.
  16. Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

    Yep, just saying that people shouldn’t expect too much from this platform. For me, It was really sad watching people here hoping and looking for their problem solution. After a while, most of them get disappointed and leave these forums. The real problem happens at the metaphysical level, and it can’t be solved just by sharing nice quotes, affirmations, “sharing love”, etc.
    It’s nice to see other orthodox guys here. Two years ago here were 2 Romanians I think, both of them were back then inactive for months. I tried founding support in other “Christian” groups here, but nothing happened. Very disappointed, I left this website and quit the fight sometime in 2018 ... completely surrendering my self to sin. That was one of the worst years of my life.
     
    Eoghan mac Phádraig likes this.
  17. Just out of curiosity, why resist thought? Is it not a natural process of the mind? Surely this will only cause more conflict within the mind?
     
  18. Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

    He was talking about bad, sinful thoughts that lead to trouble.
     
  19. I figured, but why resist them? Is it not wiser to just observe thought as it is without judging or condemning them as good or bad? Observing the reality of the mind as it is.
     
  20. Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

    Well, if you can just observe thought without falling into temptation, good for you:). For most of us resisting is the only option, cause when we start to "observe" them, we quickly fall:oops:. It takes a lot of effort and work to reach the level of appeasement so that one could only “observe” his lustful thoughts without indulging in them.
     

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