I'm Tired of This

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Ferangi12, Dec 8, 2018.

  1. Ferangi12

    Ferangi12 Fapstronaut

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    This is my first ever forum that I've joined. Porn has had a pretty nasty effect on my life and I absolutely cannot stop myself from using it. So I'm here and I need support.

    Since high school I've used porn and I've ventured into the deep depths of content just to get my fix. It's a sad, embarrassing part of my life that feels impossible to get rid of. I'm so lonely, have had two different beautiful women that I never pleased because I couldn't get it up, and have very dirty thoughts throughout the day.

    I am 22 years old, have no where to turn but here. I feel like I need to talk to someone about it..anyone really. Starting at noon today I'm going to quit porn, as well as abstain from masturbation and orgasm.

    Anyone else out there relate? Anyone just starting this? I'm looking for people who feel like they have no control over their addiction. I want to be there for you on your journey and I need as much help as I can get on mine. Here goes nuttin' hah..
     
  2. Tatertots

    Tatertots New Fapstronaut

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    I feel you dude, I'm 18 and I've been watching porn since I was 10. I recently realized that my sexual urges were just non-existent. I wouldn't get horny during school or hard at all except when watching. I looked at myself and realized that for basically as much as I can remember, I have been watching porn? I was so disgusted that I fell into a deep depression for over five months, I spoke to no one because I don't trust anyone with information like this about me, nor am I good enough friends with anyone to talk about this. And yeah I'm also pretty lonely, girls aren't really a part of my life because my libido has just been so overwhelmed by porn that I can't get sexually aroused. PIED is what I have, unfortunately, and it SUCKS. I wish all this internet filth wasn't introduced to me, my life would have been a lot better. All we can do now is leave it behind us and try to rid ourselves of this addiction. I wish you luck on your journey as I'm starting again as well. I recently relapsed after only a week into 90 days, but I'm going to try again starting today.
     
  3. countitjoy5

    countitjoy5 Fapstronaut

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    It's good that you are disgusted - get serious about defeating it because it will cost you everything in life that is worthwhile. It "feels" impossible to get rid of but it is not. You have built the intensity of desire up through bad choices, now do your reboot to weaken the desire to a manageable level.

    I and many others here are living proof that you can do it. Don't deceive yourself into thinking that your desires are somehow stronger - they are not. In fact, your desire is very weak when PMO is a habit.

    It's not impossible - the main part of defeating PMO is the way you look at it. Your beliefs and attitudes are 99% of it.
     
  4. Ferangi12

    Ferangi12 Fapstronaut

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    yep, PIED is honestly the most embarrassing thing I've experienced in my life so far. Glad to have someone to relate to! I think imagining what life will be like without it is a good starting point. It'll be hard but worth it. Let's fucking crush this
     
    Tatertots likes this.
  5. Ferangi12

    Ferangi12 Fapstronaut

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    That's the goal - make it a habit. I think the toughest part is going to be the first week or two but you're right, I'm way better than this and I do have the power to control it. I'll keep you posted on this journey!
     
  6. Voyager 1

    Voyager 1 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I'm tired of my habit too. Just started yesterday and already gave in today. I feel disgusted but not defeated. I need to not give into impulses and snap out of the habit.

    We can do this one day at a time.
     
    chummyintrovert25 likes this.
  7. pa_peace

    pa_peace Fapstronaut

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    I am completely able to relate man. Send me a message and we can keep each other motivated. One thing you need to understand though is that, you have to always keep your guard up. For example, I glanced at a poster on my way to work the other day and ended up relapsing that same night. This community is here or you.
     
  8. pa_peace

    pa_peace Fapstronaut

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    Educate yourself, motivate others, never let your guard down, be aware of you porn watching patterns. This is knowledge from 6 years of addiction. Please use it wisely.
     
    chummyintrovert25 likes this.
  9. Ferangi12

    Ferangi12 Fapstronaut

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    Yep, I get triggered really easy too. Any girl that's wearing yoga pants can cause a downward spiral haha. It's hard when you are constantly surrounded by ads that use sex. Crazily enough just going to google images for anything will really tempt me to search for porn. 8 days is huge. My longest streak is 7 days (sadly). Keep it up my man, we're in this together
     
    pa_peace likes this.
  10. Ferangi12

    Ferangi12 Fapstronaut

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    It always happens when I feel I'm done with it..and I only feel the real regret after I do it. There's a lot more to this life than the endless cycle. Thanks for the words of wisdom my friend.
     
    pa_peace likes this.
  11. Voyager 1

    Voyager 1 Fapstronaut

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    I know that feeling. During the act I'm thinking "fuck it" and when it's over I think "well that wasn't worth it". Glorified fantasy gives us nothing beneficial or real.
     
    xahmed99x likes this.
  12. The sun is the limit

    The sun is the limit Fapstronaut

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    There is the power inside you, that you can stay away from porn. I managed for 2 years. It is worth it. Relapsing feels terrible, but you can get back on track
     

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  13. Striker97

    Striker97 Fapstronaut

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    I'm 18, and I'm starting it again from today
    Fucking tired of being slave
    Let's do it
    Feel free to text me
     
    Tatertots likes this.
  14. Ezra Verraruc

    Ezra Verraruc New Fapstronaut

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  15. xahmed99x

    xahmed99x New Fapstronaut

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    hey there
    basically porn destroyed my life , i look back to myself before porn and i feel Desperate i was so much smarter and social i used to be the first in my class but now i keep fall in college , i don't have a gf also and i cant get one . i got these thoughts too all over the day that make me hate myself and the person who iam , i was thinking about killing myself to stop feeling that way , i dont know what to do .
     
    chummyintrovert25 likes this.
  16. Ferangi12

    Ferangi12 Fapstronaut

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    I get what you're going through. It's the main reason I joined this site. Absolutely don't kill yourself..remember that there are people out there who feel just the same way you do. If things get worse feel free to message me or for real, professional assistance call the suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255
     
  17. Ferangi12

    Ferangi12 Fapstronaut

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    I'm fucking tired too! It's the worst to not have control over your own actions. Won't be easy but I feel keeping a log and talking to others will really help
     
  18. Ferangi12

    Ferangi12 Fapstronaut

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    amazing man! did you recently relapse?
     
  19. chummyintrovert25

    chummyintrovert25 Fapstronaut

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    You got this bro!! When I was your age I wasn't even trying to address my issues, so props. One day at a time man.
     
    Tatertots likes this.
  20. chummyintrovert25

    chummyintrovert25 Fapstronaut

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    Hey bro, I can totally relate. That's basically what I've been going through, porn has driven me to almost kill myself. Remember that there's so much beauty in this world, we just can't see it right now because this addiction has skewed our perspective. If you ever need to talk I'm here for you.
     

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