I realised this when I did a little research on masculinity and femininity. I started with a porn genre that really encourages the feminine side and suppresses the masculine. I've been doing it for awhile and just noticed the imbalance. The feminine side has started acting up a little more, but the masculine started putting up a vicious fight. It had me up at 8:30 every day in my garage working hard. I smith all day long to the point of exhaustion then come and rest where I would indulge in the feminine again. My conclusion is that I should get to work bringing the two back to harmony instead of trying to maintain partial dominance of both.