Images of your wife vs porn

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Elevation, Jan 5, 2019.

  1. Elevation

    Elevation Fapstronaut

    18
    10
    3
    In short,i am determined to cut porn out completely and i have no fear that i will reach that goal. However,my wife and i have conflicting schedules almost each day and we have had troubles in the home.

    I think im suffering from PIED but i could be wrong... either way, im cutting that aspect of my life out.

    Is it detrimental to use pictures of my wife as arousal to send my focus on her and not to porn? I stopped viewing her pictures after we dealt with some issues because it was painful and not helpful but i want to move forward and at the same time i want to resolve my ED... thoughts?
     
  2. Trappist

    Trappist Fapstronaut

    As in using her pix to M?

    If you have pied,
    Stop with the M.
    Period.

    You are trying to rewire
    your brain to her
    In person.

    In my understanding.
     
  3. jwitcher

    jwitcher Fapstronaut

    Yeah, M to the pictures of your wife is not gonna help with PIED.
    First off you need to reboot your brain so you're aroused by your wife's presence, not the pics, and crush the expectations of intimacy that are handed on a plate by P - P gives you a stupid idea that you must be some sort of brutish dude that does the deed and he's done. Intimacy is way beyond that, mate.

    Cheers.
     
    Coolyorky likes this.
  4. Elevation

    Elevation Fapstronaut

    18
    10
    3
    I appreciate the replies.... so the M wasnt to completion,it was to make sure i could still get up.I hadnt had an erection in like 3 days.

    she came home from the time i posted this, jumped on me and my body operated like i just hit puberty.

    I will still follow the advice though and not use any of the pictures or M. Id rather know exactly whats going on with my body... or brain
     
    Trappist and jwitcher like this.
  5. Trappist

    Trappist Fapstronaut

    With Pied?

    How so?

    Pied may be your
    new friend for a while.
    You could see some
    improvement in weeks.
    Real improvement is in months,
    But I would guess years.

    From one with one year sobriety.
    Things are much better.

    But time and work
    On your PA matter.

    As does consideration
    and home repair
    of your relationship.
     
  6. Elevation

    Elevation Fapstronaut

    18
    10
    3
    So i never had issues with pied until a few months ago.

    After i got my vasectomy i noticed a major difference. Oddly i had ZERO issues before i got it done. Afterwards it slowly became an issue.

    During the recovery period of the vasectomy which was Over a year ago, she did some regrettable things so i disappropriately think about that when we get intimate.

    As for how porn effected us, she didnt want me to watch it. I would hide my addiction and told myself the normal “i could stop at any time” I finally stopped it but started back after she did what she did. I was angry with people and didnt want anyone so i thought it was safe.
     
  7. Trappist

    Trappist Fapstronaut

    I did that big time
    in a previous relationship.
    Resentment is a relationship killer.

    I used it as an excuse to ‘read’ porn then, too.

    Hope you can let it go,
    I wish I had then.

    Anger and resentment
    Breed
    Anger and resentment.

    Best wishes.
     
    Elevation likes this.
  8. Elevation

    Elevation Fapstronaut

    18
    10
    3
    Thank you for the support.

    What exactly did you do in a previous relationship?
     
  9. Coolyorky

    Coolyorky Fapstronaut

    687
    1,443
    123
    It should be your real wife vs everything else my friend!
     
    Elevation likes this.
  10. Trappist

    Trappist Fapstronaut

    What did you do?

    What we did do
    is that we both used
    a perceived slight
    to go back to P.

    Brilliant!

    ‘It’s their fault’,
    which is very addicty
    and blaming.

    Gave us the
    ‘addict’s out’
    the claim
    to an excuse,
    that we could
    stop at any time...
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2019
    EyesWideOpen and Elevation like this.
  11. Elevation

    Elevation Fapstronaut

    18
    10
    3
    Haha thanks for the advice,it is crazy though

    Explicit,non explicit, if its my wife it doesnt really matter, allof it works to reach that goal. But i needed the info for a PIED standpoint...

    I appreciate it
     
  12. Slick Willie

    Slick Willie Fapstronaut

    110
    122
    43
    7 days no touchy touchy no cumming. Good bye lazy cock. Hello boner! Your wife will be amazed.
     
    Elevation likes this.
  13. drewharbour

    drewharbour Fapstronaut

    Don’t fool yourself, edging or “not to completion, is not harmless. In fact it is more harmful because it is solely dopamine release often lasting longer as there is no O to finish. Edging is not an alternative or a technique for reboot. It is extremely counterproductive. I know, it got me to a few relapses.

    Strong responses from all here and I agree, no pics. Focus on her in real life. The Focus has to be very disciplined and be P free.
     
  14. Elevation

    Elevation Fapstronaut

    18
    10
    3

    Appreciated.... well she came home and showed me that my stuff is still working properly lol not intentionally but it happened nevertheless
     
  15. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

    1,810
    3,873
    143
    Karezza is not edging. It is very different. It is a practice that fosters deep intimacy between you and your partner.
     
    Trappist, Numb and Jennica like this.
  16. Jennica

    Jennica Fapstronaut

    685
    1,649
    123
    It also helps with mindfulness and self control. I agree not the same as edging but I can see how that can be seen as similar without experiencing the difference.
     
    Trappist, Numb and EyesWideOpen like this.
  17. Elevation

    Elevation Fapstronaut

    18
    10
    3
    What is Karezza? Sounds like a couch at Ikea
     
    Trappist likes this.
  18. Jennica

    Jennica Fapstronaut

    685
    1,649
    123
    Karezza

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coitus_reservatus

    Coitus reservatus (coitus, "sexual intercourse, union" + reservatus, "reserved, saved"),[1] also known as sexual continence.

    Alice Stockham coined the term karezza, derived from the Italian word "carezza" meaning "caress", to describe coitus reservatus.[2]

    In short, it’s not about the O. It builds the Oxytocin, the bonding hormone between the couple.
     
    Elevation and Trappist like this.

Share This Page