So last year I meet an amazing girl online, she lives in another country so we haven't met yet, due to the covid. But we hope that we can meet this summer. Now I have a porn addiction, and I've had some problems with PIED, but I'm not sure how bad it is. Point is, I wanna do this journey now, so I can be the best I can be when I meet her, in every way. I'm now on day 10 and things have gone okay, I had some huge urges, but got past them. Last night me and this girl talked a lot after we were done playing with our group, and I felt this sexual tension with her, it was pretty strong, we talked about alot of stuff, but watching porn wasn't even in my mind at all, there was no urge there. After we went to bed, I fantasized a little about her, I never touched my penis or anything like that, I just held my pillow haha, sound weird saying this. Is this bad? I mean there was not a single urge in my body to watch porn, this was something way more intimit, and I didn't think about anything like fetishes, mostly just me holding her to be honest and kissing her. Personally I don't think it's gonna do me much harm, but just cause yesterday was no trigger at all, it might be different another time, but it also kinda felt that I had healed a little. All the weird shit I've been watching, it was not on my mind at all.