Husband refuses to put accountability app on his phone unless I unlock mine. I told him I would give him access once he has regained trust. (Given his recent use of incognito, blantant lying to my face several weeks ago, and relentless gaslighting— there is a long road to magical trust land.) He says: “I'm not trying to fix a broken relationship. I'm trying to grow from the ashes of it. We are either going to grow together or we aren't. I'm not interested in your restrictions after the 90 day under any scenario. I feel like the 90 days is wholly unreasonable but am still going on with it. You can consider all the things I have done as progress or not. It's your call. It's your heart. The truth you know may be the only truth you ever know. I want to keep loving you and always will but I cant keep buckling to unhelpful demands. I will put the app on my phone when yours is unlocked. I will take it off at 90 days. I will do what's best for me because you wont let me do what will help us. Please get out the house today and see some sunshine. It's a nice day. I want to know what it will look like after the 90 days. Is it going to be like this? How do you see it changing? I mean realistically.” I’ve mentioned the idea we go different directions for Thanksgiving. He responds: “Your choices seperate us. Why do you think that's better?” I had no say in the way he spent over a decade betraying me. I cannot stomach him trying to dictate how my trust is recovered. I guess this is an impasse. Not sure where to go from here. I’m open to marriage counseling. I just feel like he’s making me sick in my core.