Improved Performance, But Not Enough

[Sondae]

My primary motivation in starting NoFap is to better myself for the sake of my girlfriend.

With that being said, I have had mixed sexual experiences with her. We have tried a few things several times, and most of the times I end up going soft on her very quickly. I was fortunately able to climax (for the first time in my LIFE) with her on my second attempt, but that progress quickly disappeared. The next few times were rough. Then, I had a breakthrough when I stayed erect for almost three times as long as I normally do, yet I still did not climax.

Tonight, we tried something again. I once again was not able to climax after two attempts. I had to fake it to make sure she didn't feel bad. However, I was shocked at how long I stayed erect. It may have lasted more than thirty minutes. I have never experienced this in the presence of a woman. I got very close to climaxing this time around, but it just wasn't close enough. I hope that this prolonged erection, however, is a sign of boosted sexual health and a successful attempt in the future.

This is actually surprising considering I have gone through a bit of a relapse recently, although I was able to keep two separate four-day streaks back-to-back. Anyways, if you think this is a good sign of progress then let me know!

 

[Astronaruto]

My primary motivation in starting NoFap is to better myself for the sake of my girlfriend.

With that being said, I have had mixed sexual experiences with her. We have tried a few things several times, and most of the times I end up going soft on her very quickly. I was fortunately able to climax (for the first time in my LIFE) with her on my second attempt, but that progress quickly disappeared. The next few times were rough. Then, I had a breakthrough when I stayed erect for almost three times as long as I normally do, yet I still did not climax.

Tonight, we tried something again. I once again was not able to climax after two attempts. I had to fake it to make sure she didn't feel bad. However, I was shocked at how long I stayed erect. It may have lasted more than thirty minutes. I have never experienced this in the presence of a woman. I got very close to climaxing this time around, but it just wasn't close enough. I hope that this prolonged erection, however, is a sign of boosted sexual health and a successful attempt in the future.

This is actually surprising considering I have gone through a bit of a relapse recently, although I was able to keep two separate four-day streaks back-to-back. Anyways, if you think this is a good sign of progress then let me know!

 

[Astronaruto]

Yes bro your on the road to recovery, that is 100 % a sign of progress!
keep going ,
victory will ultimately be yours

 

[lovinghusband96]

May I ask you what’s going through your head during sex?

as someone who has also had difficulty keeping an erection before I’ve found there’s 3 reasons why.

1) I feel my partner isn’t in the mood. That feeling of forcing yourself on someone kills my vibe

2) something happens and I make myself anxious. Idk why but sometimes I have this idea that sex is a well choreographed routine and that if anything goes wrong it’s ruined. I.e. the dog jumps in the bed etc. a dumb one, but one I’ve experienced

3) I have porn on my brain. During my dark days of masturbation I would masturbate daily, sometimes twice daily. Then I would get into the struggle of my wife wanting to have sex that evening randomly. I would panic thinking I couldn’t go again and would sneak away to watch some porn to get aroused again. Terrible idea. Sex with my wife usually turned out poorly when I tried this system


TL/DR: keeping an erection is a mental thing. Trying to figure what exactly is stressing you out and distracting you can go a long way. It’s easier said then done, but I’ve really worked on slowing down, relaxing and not worrying how sex will go. I just try to be present and have fun. That usually leads to be the best outcomes

 

[Sondae]

May I ask you what’s going through your head during sex?

as someone who has also had difficulty keeping an erection before I’ve found there’s 3 reasons why.

1) I feel my partner isn’t in the mood. That feeling of forcing yourself on someone kills my vibe

2) something happens and I make myself anxious. Idk why but sometimes I have this idea that sex is a well choreographed routine and that if anything goes wrong it’s ruined. I.e. the dog jumps in the bed etc. a dumb one, but one I’ve experienced

3) I have porn on my brain. During my dark days of masturbation I would masturbate daily, sometimes twice daily. Then I would get into the struggle of my wife wanting to have sex that evening randomly. I would panic thinking I couldn’t go again and would sneak away to watch some porn to get aroused again. Terrible idea. Sex with my wife usually turned out poorly when I tried this system


TL/DR: keeping an erection is a mental thing. Trying to figure what exactly is stressing you out and distracting you can go a long way. It’s easier said then done, but I’ve really worked on slowing down, relaxing and not worrying how sex will go. I just try to be present and have fun. That usually leads to be the best outcomes

It’s mostly just me fighting thoughts in the back of my head. I have a tendency to not be 100% focused when it’s happening. I usually have songs still playing over in the back of my mind when we’re doing stuff but I suppose that’s normal for a lot of things. I mean a song is playing in my head as I write this but who knows.

I also usually am mentally encouraging myself to keep going and perform better. I sometimes also have a bit of panic in my mind if I feel it slipping away. Really it’s just a mental battle of me trying to focus every time we do it. Honestly now that you've mentioned it, she may not have been 100% down. Like she was more than happy to do something but she may not have put everything into it because she felt indifferent. Hope that makes sense

 

[Sondae]

My primary motivation in starting NoFap is to better myself for the sake of my girlfriend.

With that being said, I have had mixed sexual experiences with her. We have tried a few things several times, and most of the times I end up going soft on her very quickly. I was fortunately able to climax (for the first time in my LIFE) with her on my second attempt, but that progress quickly disappeared. The next few times were rough. Then, I had a breakthrough when I stayed erect for almost three times as long as I normally do, yet I still did not climax.

Tonight, we tried something again. I once again was not able to climax after two attempts. I had to fake it to make sure she didn't feel bad. However, I was shocked at how long I stayed erect. It may have lasted more than thirty minutes. I have never experienced this in the presence of a woman. I got very close to climaxing this time around, but it just wasn't close enough. I hope that this prolonged erection, however, is a sign of boosted sexual health and a successful attempt in the future.

This is actually surprising considering I have gone through a bit of a relapse recently, although I was able to keep two separate four-day streaks back-to-back. Anyways, if you think this is a good sign of progress then let me know!

Just an update: Went over to my girlfriend's house for a while last night and my erection lasted over an hour. We were kinda just touching each other here and there, but not much else because we were not alone in the house. I am very impressed with how long it lasted though. It went away a few times after we would go a few minutes without touching, but it would immediately come back for a while after we started again. This is progress!