ImStrongAK's Story.

April 1 - April Fool's Day. A perfect day. Manifested a message from my crush. A day that gave me the MOST amazing feeling -- a feeling as if my dream came true -- a feeling that I hadn't experienced since 2017!
If you head on to my "Thread" sections, you'd find a thread where I described who SHE is.
To put it in a nutshell, I had been putting stories solely for her after customizing on Facebook since March 7/8. Those stories used to revolve around my life. But being an overweight guy, never dared to post my picture. Prayed to God everyday for her reply to come through just once because I was afraid of texting her first in the fear of posing myself as a creep/stalker. There were days when she used to complete IGNORE my stories and those days man.. were damn painful.
I was on the verge of giving up until an idea popped up. Already had my birthday hidden on FB and April Fool's Day came as a perfect opportunity. Faked that my birthday falls on April 1 and finally after so much waiting, there it was.. my dream. "Happy Birthday" her message read with a virtual rose. Man, I can't tell you how much overjoyed I was, just indescribable in words. Told her that I was joking on the occasion of April Fool's Day.

THE SHOCKER :
A convo ensued. She was surprised that I KNEW HER. Her words, "Oh Wow I thought you'd say you don't remember me hahaha."
Well, I guess that was the privilege of being a school topper back in 2017 or perhaps, for always being in good books of the teachers. WE WENT IN THE SAME SCHOOL, DIFFERENT SECTIONS BUT SAME STANDARDS.
We talked for few days and then SHE STARTED PUTTING STORIES ON HER FACEBOOK. I complimented her everytime. There came a gap of 1 week. Again, I had put a story and so she did. I was in awe that A GIRL WHO HADN'T PUT A STORY FOR PAST 6 MONTHS suddenly switched her mind? Man, I was falling head over heels at this point. I did post my pictures as well. Don't know if she liked it or not though. But became CURIOUS. Started interrogating about my daily life. Earlier, only I used to ask!

MY FINDINGS :

1. She has never dated (her parents may not even allow).
2. Her parents are EXTREMELY STRICT.
3. She barely socializes.
4. Used to actively, I mean everyday, update her Instagram Profile Pictures.
5. Has over 800 impending follow requests on Instagram. Allowed only 139 people.
6. Spends her day either inside hostel or her house.
7. Has several acquaintances but only 4 "trustworthy" friends outta which she trusts a guy called "S" the most whom she irritates a lot. And laughs with, a lot.
8. Appreciates good literature (I scored 100/100 here).
9. She was fascinated by the way I used to hold convo.
10. WhatsApp > Instagram > Snapchat > FB : Her Preferences.
11. Told me that she's NOT crushing on anyone upon asking.
12. Wants a guy who would made her feel like no other like she's the BEST.
13. Self obsessed. Obsessed with her face so much that she has atttached her self-esteem with her face.
14. Always likes to stay in her comfort zone.
15. Has a painful past where her 3 BEST FRIENDS ditched her. They were together for 3 years. From there on, she decided that she'd call ONLY HER MAN - HER BEST FRIEND.
16. I have a good amount of followers on Twitter, she was the first to ask my Twitter. I'm her only follower on Twitter. Her Twitter was dead until she came to know about mine. I have few celebs following me over, including some tweets from celebs, she was impressed BEYOND WORDS.
17. DIDN'T ASK ABOUT MY INSTAGRAM THOUGH!! I barely have 52 followers, my Insta is DEAD.
18. She never initiates. (Did on 2-3 occasions with me though).
19. Doesn't have an AIM. She just desires to get educational degrees and MARRIAGE.

April 22. Her reply delayed by over 12 hours. Being an impatient guy, I rebuked. Had a huge fight as I WAS PISSED OFF that she pulled out the VICTIM CARD. SENT ME OVER 22 MESSAGES IN ONE GO! That came outta insecurity that she had developed from her past trauma. I FELT IT.
It all happened because I had said, "All the best for your future endeavors." She did the same but one hour later came her reply, "You don't even know what I'm upto and how easy it is for you to say I'm ignoring you." She became emotional.
Though with logical approach, made her understand where she went wrong as she said, "Nobody has said such things to me before." She apologized repeatedly. I did too for being impatient.
She was overjoyed that we sorted things out and I COMMITTED A MISTAKE. Said, "You can rely on me. I can sit with you through your darkest times." -- The NICE GUY. Didn't even know. Regardless, she was thankful and started asking me about my day.

April 26 - THE END
Was just another day. Another opportunity to have a convo. We did so. That day though, I became all about myself. At the end, I sensed that convo was FORCED. For the first time, I felt she was bored. I had said, I would find out her parents names & occupation (JUST LIVES HALF A KM AWAY FROM MY HOUSE) to which she replied, "Do tell me."
I did. The exact same day found it out. BUT! BUT! BUT! I sensed our convo was forced so waited for her to come around as she did previously. SHE DIDN'T! I repeat, SHE DIDN'T!
I ignored it for few days till May 10, 2020. I broke down. Had severe, extremely severe breakdowns since. I had become emotionally vulnerable to her (Have never felt such a strong connection with anyone). First love. Had only seen her in school back then but never exchanged words. She wasn't pretty at all back then. I was amazed to see the transformation, not gonna lie.
Man, currently, weeping my tears as I wrote this down. I HAVEN'T SHARED THIS WITH ANYONE. I'll continue with a second post regarding THE AFTERMATH & MY TAKE.
Until then, my dear Fapstronauts, please give it a read. Have put all my heart into this..
Regards and Love.

 

Thank you for your time and insight! Please do revert after I completely narrate this story. Honestly, I think I dealt with a "vulnerable narcissist". Thank you again!

 

So, before continuing this story, I want to brief about the "mindset" that I carried while interacting with this gal. Honestly, I have like 3 friends with whom I barely interact. I don't like to interact, thanks to my life which has been stagnant for almost past 3 years now! I don't know seriously how to get back on track, don't know how to pick myself up and proceed. I'm completely broken from inside, but can certainly say that am a pretty good eccedentesiast -- a person who carries a fake smile.

I wanted some emotional support. Trust me on this one that, besides that, I wanted someone whom I CAN HELP by extending all my "emotional" support too AND I was expecting it to be reciprocated. Goddamnit, I still don't understand why DID SHE SEND ME A FRIEND REQUEST ON FACEBOOK LAST APRIL? Why did GOD send her in my life? Before her arrival in my life, I was atleast BOTHERED ABOUT MY OWN LIFE, HAD GOALS SET IN, THE ONLY PART I WAS FAILING AT WAS TO FIND A PATH TO REACH WHERE I WANNA BE. I knew what I wanted. But after her arrival, I started checking her out. Started drifting from my path. From November 2019 onwards, my desire to talk to her increased and so did my stalking. She used to put a lot of photos, used to change her Instagram profile pic with the speed of light. By March 2020, it turned into "obsession".

And from April till now, I became stuck so much that am not gonna lie, I feel like I'm in May or June. I don't even know when August arrived and when we're about to enter September. I have an exam called "JEE" -- amongst the world's toughest entrance tests, scheduled on September 6, 2020 for which nearly a MILLION candidates have applied and I don't even know a single thing, and on the top of it I forgot what I had read, learnt and studied. This examination is a tough nut to crack, extremely competitive and one is supposed to work hard for 2 YEARS! This exam has turned my life upside down. As much as I want to do things, I can't. I don't know, why? Whenever I try to chalk out a plan, my brain tricks me into thinking about the past due to which anxiety sets in, and whenever that happens I start to panic or worse I cry. My parents keep on rebuking me, taunting me for not studying, I have absolutely 0 social circle and absolutely nobody to talk to. Nobody to tell what I'm feeling from the inside.

Since this post majorly revolves around HER, I'm not gonna dive into more details about my past life. I just want a closure and for which I'm heavily relying on ya'll.
Will try to sum this up in the upcoming post.

Regards.

 

Alright. I am in a fix. I'll complete this impending story, sir.
Meanwhile I need advice, urgently. We're connected on FB and Twitter.
FB - When she had sent me an FB request.
Twitter - When she said "Lemme follow you!" I have a large amount of followers there. I followed her back there.

After not posting a single story since April on FB, I had posted a story there on July 29, only for her after customizing. She saw it as early as 5:40 AM. Left it midway. And then again around evening, saw my complete story comprising of memes mainly.

After that, on August 1, she changed her Instagram Bio to "Blissful, Grateful and Grateful" as if she got an ego boost. Mind you we're not connected on Instagram, my Instagram is dead. As if she had an idea I was STALKING her.
On August 2, I deactivated my Facebook and Instagram, so as to move on ahead with my life. To heal. Yet I kept an eye on her Quora and Instagram mainly.
I tweeted on August 2 that I have deactivated my Facebook and Instagram accounts to focus more on work throughout August.
On August 4, after almost 1 year, she changed her profile picture. After my exit.
I sort of had an idea that she might be stalking me. Not just on Twitter but on Quora as well. (Maybe she would have thought that after returning in September, I'm gonna like her picture?)

I had upvoted an answer last time on August 14. There, she stopped upvoting answers on August 27 on Quora.

Throughout August, she didn't post a single picture, didn't update her Instagram profile picture and Bio.

I didn't return either on FB or on Instagram in September. Continued with Twitter.
Here, she comes on September 9. After 1 year suddenly decides to tweet. Unlocks her Twitter account. Tweets thrice. Something related to her course. Follows a guy and a girl close to her. Before that, she was following me only along with 4 celebs and her old classmate.
I ignored. And slept. Next morning pops up a notification "SHE liked your tweet". Like what? This tweet of mine had over 400 likes and over 700 retweets. My most retweeted tweet that I had tweeted on August 30. This was the 3rd time she had liked my tweet. She had previously liked 2 of my tweets in July, alongside she had liked 10 tweets of a that classmate of hers. All in July. But in September, after liking my tweet, she unfollowed that classmate. Tweeted for the 4th time. This time I thought I should reciprocate. I liked her tweet too.

Aftermath :
Liked her own tweet that I had liked literally just under 10 minutes of my liking. Changed her profile picture not ONCE BUT TWICE. Added the same bio as that of Instagram. Added a header picture too.
On Instagram, she hasn't added a new post since my exit. A gyal who used to change her pic literally everyday, hasn't updated her profile picture in over a month and a half on Instagram. Hasn't upvoted any answer since August 27 on Quora too.

What do you think about this, sir? Seriously need an advice. I know this gyal. Have seen her since school times as previously mentioned. She used to be the most silent type. Even though, she is being courageous now but she is sensitive from inside. I have seen right through her. She pretends to be strong. Heck she isn't even allowed to socialize.

 

But isn't she doing the same? Stalking me too? Liking my tweet after almost 10 days of tweeting?

Well....
I would like to tell you that here in India, around 50% of the people are firm believers of "monogamous" relationship. That being said, they don't possess "abundance mentality" and want to stick with just one individual throughout the rest of their lives. This was the fuckin' mindset that I had. With this mindset, I used to talk to her. SHE TOO SAID THAT SHE WANTS A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP IN HER LIFE... But the odds didn't turn out in my favor. The concept of "The One" is flawed. I was introduced to the reality. I cried so much, I suffered so much emotionally, heck on her asking, I even prayed for her!! I am a spiritual guy. I started connecting her to my spiritual beliefs. But after April 26, it became an extremely tough phase for me because I have never been through one.

Now, my respect for all the "players" has increased. In multifolds. I was emotionally invested to such an extent that it backfired with an even greater intensity. I'm saying this here, I'm never gonna chase/pursue a girl after this incident. Never ever. Just a waste of time, energy and resources.

Just to state : In Hinduism, engaging in intercourse before marriage is equivalent to a sin. That's the reason, I used to believe that it is sacred. Now, I'm suffering because of this. "True love", "The one" -- Fuck no. All lies.
I pity myself for pursuing her with utmost PURITY. Literally never thought what I'm signing up for.

I feel so attacked after she arrived on Twitter. I'm gonna make a fake account of a girl and have a light-hearted convo on Twitter all by myself. It hurts her or not, I want to have fun for a while. Fuck everyone now. I don't have friends with whom I can discuss everything without the fear of getting judged. But have more than 4K followers on Twitter whereas I follow only 450. I have muted her. Do whatever the fuck you want to do, gyal. I'm not down for anything UNSTABLE AND ONE SIDED.

 

But regardless, @p1n1983, I seriously want to thank you for listening to my utterly "stupid" and "immature" story. Thank you for your valuable suggestions. I hope to give some more details about what happened in May, June and July in the future very "briefly".

I was much better than this...

 

She DM'ed me on Twitter, today. Well, it was a reply to my tweet. I texted back after 2 hours and her response came within a minute. I said thank you and was about to go but later she asked "How have you been?" We conversed for 1 hour straight but I ended the convo. What's this behavior?

 

A red pill that I swallowed : Women run on emotions. They're enslaved to their own emotions. They need to be constantly stimulated emotionally. Damn man! I feel lied to.

 

In retrospect, she was a lesson. It's been a year since I last spoke to her .. do I want her back? No. Do I miss her? Yes.
Have I moved on though? Dunno.