In a bad way

Hey @azureblue . Welcome to nofap. Recovery is always possible. there are some guys here I've seen struggling with this behavior... Maybe if you put your heads together, with an intention to recovery, the answers will come. Sorry recovery for this isn't fully addressed yet. I won't mention the guys names in the thread since I want to ask their permission first.

 

First, welcome! I am glad you're here.

Second, I must confess your situation is not something I am familiar with, so I am sorry I can't offer much that is specific. However, there are others here who have described similar situations, so maybe you can connect with others and learn from their experiences.

Third, my honest reaction is that you might want to talk to a psychologist with expertise in sexual fetishes. They exist and they can help.

Fourth, I do believe that simply disconnecting from porn and fantasy can do a lot to clear your head. I say that because for me, I became really caught up with another fantasy. I won't go into it -- unless you want me to, that's fine -- but trust me, it was very powerful for me. Getting away from porn and fantasy made a huge difference.

I hope you keep coming back. If I can do anything, let me know.

 

Hey @azureblue I have actually been in the same position you are. I started watching porn at age 15 and then later found sissy porn and then hypnosis. Just like you I wanted to be the women in the videos I watched. I would stay up for hours watching sissy hypnosis videos until I couldn't masturbate anymore. Then around age 17 I met a girl and I figured out that what I was doing was messed up and I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. The farthest I'd get would be a week then I would relapse. It was a grueling cycle, until she couldn't take it anymore and left me. After that I told myself I would not let this addiction ruin my life. For the first time in five years I hit a three month mark! I relapsed after a low point in my life, but I'm back at it again. I guess what I'm trying to say is this type of porn plays on your insecurities and makes you feel alone, but you aren't alone. I have had the same struggle as you and I'm almost back up to a month without it and I feel great. All of us here want to help and be helped, we all stand by each other to help get through our struggles. Keep fighting my friend the longer you abstain from sissy porn and just porn in general the better you will feel I promise. Even if you relapse just try again and keep trying, do one day at a time that's what I do. Keep going strong and if you have any questions you can ask me or the many others here. We all want to help because this is your life you deserve to be happy in it .