My posts are always long and there's tons of information here, apologies, but it's my situation and I could use some help from people in a similar one. I went for 115 days no PMO last year and I got out of the P cycle, I've also taken out videogames (41 days free), violent/horror tv shows and movies, got a vegetarian diet going, waking up at around 9 every day, exercised twice a week for 6 months, I walk about 8000 steps daily, meditate daily, cold shower daily, reduced stress significantly and started learning new fun things. Got HOCD but now that's also gone. On top of this I've also stopped talking to women online and triggers/fantasization are practically null. Oh yeah and I got an AP group going which doesn't seem to be working. I even told my mom about my P addiction (just the P part, even though that's gone). But I can't seem to get out of the MO cycle now, I relapse every week or so. Sometimes I go for 2 weeks, then relapse. I find myself romanticizing the addiction, or trying to get an erection just for the sake of it and my brain also thinks that I must explore different ways to reach a more satisfying O. I'm really fed up with all this, I've read countless articles and watched so many videos and tried so many different things and I always fall into the same pit. I also stopped caring for finding a girlfriend and having sex, that doesn't solve the problem, I want to be in complete control of my energy and transmute it into my work, women are a waste of time. I don't want to be more social or do all sorts of crazy activities, I'm a freelancer artist and game developer and I'm fine with flying solo and having peace and quiet. I just want this MO cycle gone for good, like how P simply went away. Wet dreams also happen often and I don't know how to get rid of them. Any thoughts on this?