In need of motivation - please help

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Julyguy, Nov 28, 2015.

  1. Julyguy

    Julyguy Fapstronaut

    Hey guys

    So.. It's been over a year since I discovered this site and I'm still not on track. I pmo daily, sometimes more often.

    Recently my sister got married, and for the occasion I held a speech, that would prove to be pretty emotional.
    My sister later spoke to me, telling me that she loved me, and that sparked some motivation.

    The motivation lasted 2 days, until I realized, "I don't need to improve so I can be there for her, she has her husband to take care of her, and he's also a very good man, who I respect highly"

    And then I gave in again.

    She's the only family-member I actually like, and I have noone else I'd improve myself for.

    Please just give me a reason to get on track. I can't do it for myself, and I can't do it for all people in general...
  2. calo9025

    calo9025 Fapstronaut

    Do it for your future. Look at your sister's life. She is happily married. Do you want that kind of life someday? If so, you need to get over that porn addiction because that is going to make things very complicated. Why can't you do it for yourself? You are the one that has the most to gain by quitting this addiction.
    Ahmed Adel likes this.
  3. JoePineapples

    JoePineapples Fapstronaut

    Hi JulyGuy
    So, you've been here a while, you've read some stories, you know a lot of the theory.
    Here's a couple of tips that may help with your motivation and progress.

    @calo9025 has given you some great reasons, but tbh, they have got to come from you.

    Spend an hour and sit down, and write out all the reasons you hate porn and masturbation.
    Distill them down into some clear sentences.
    Think about the person you want to be, and write that down. Be bold. Be ambitious. Dare to dream!
    Put these in your sig.

    Start a journal (you may have one, I looked but couldn't find it).
    Put a link to it, in your sig.
    Get a counter.
    Set a goal. Maybe two goals. One you think you can achieve – Maybe 10 days? and a stretch goal 30 – 60 – 90 days?

    Commit to these goals.
    Journal your progress.
    Celebrate each day you do in your journal. Post another day done. GIve yourself a small treat… a small chocolate or something!
    If you fail, work out why. What was your trigger? Stick this in your journal.
    Work out a strategy to deal with this trigger next time. It may be I was bored, frustrated and lonely, so I had a wank. Make it I was bored, frustrated and lonely, so I meditated (or went for a run, or read a book, whatever!)
    Start adding the days.

    Good luck!
    Ahmed Adel and calo9025 like this.
  4. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

    You are the only one who can do this, we can't motivate you. It's up to you, live a life looking into a screen PMO'ing to people you will never meet or fix yourself and go have fun with real people. If you choose PMO, your life will most likely suck later or at the very least be unfulfilled by any normal standards. How's that, is that motivation enough?
    avatarivn likes this.

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