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In PM-mode, what happens if my girlfirend gives me a hand job?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by larrylarrylarry, Jul 17, 2016.

  1. Jul 17, 2016 #1
    larrylarrylarry

    larrylarrylarry Fapstronaut

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    I am in PM-mode, which means no P and no M.
    What if during sex with girlfriend she finishes me by hand?

    Should I reset?
     
    larrylarrylarry, Jul 17, 2016
    larrylarrylarry, Jul 17, 2016
    #1
  2. Jul 17, 2016 #2
    bdomagala

    bdomagala Fapstronaut

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    Well, if it's by your girlfriend then that doesn't really qualify as M. Nor are you watching P. So, no. you should not reset.
     
    bdomagala, Jul 17, 2016
    bdomagala, Jul 17, 2016
    #2
    larrylarrylarry likes this.
  3. Jul 17, 2016 #3
    jackson1324

    jackson1324 Fapstronaut

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    So far I know there is nothing wrong with that.

    I am on the same boat as you: No PM but I "allow" sex with my girlfriend. Sure, tje recovery is the fastest when you totally abstain from PMO, but sex/handjobs/blowjobs are nothing bad. I have sex with my girlfriend to get the feeling of the real-deal back and enjoy sex more.

    I suffered from hard ED which deminished over time a bit (starting to watch porn a bit less) and PE.

    I'm now my 5th day in with no PM. My erections were making a small come back (not fully tho) and the 3 times I had sex with my girlfriend I managed to last longer than 4 minutes, while before i started to abstain from porn I could finish amazingly quick... also I feel less drained from my energy. A week ago when I had an orgasm my head and eyes felt heavy. Now it felt like nothing was wrong.

    I dont know if it is really progress or just a placebo effect/its in my head but i am definately feeling great so far and have had no urges yet.
     
    jackson1324, Jul 17, 2016
    jackson1324, Jul 17, 2016
    #3
    larrylarrylarry likes this.
  4. Jul 17, 2016 #4
    larrylarrylarry

    larrylarrylarry Fapstronaut

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    OK, second follow up question: what if I am having sex with gf, and I can't finish (DE) she gives me a HJ but still can't finish, so we start making out and touching and I am the one stroking my penis till I finish.

    Is that M? Should I reset?
     
    larrylarrylarry, Jul 17, 2016
    larrylarrylarry, Jul 17, 2016
    #4
  5. Jul 18, 2016 #5
    Rudramast

    Rudramast Fapstronaut

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    I think if you need to stroke your penis to finish you're having a physiological problem.
    I wouldn't do that ;)
    You don't necessarily have to ejaculate in a sexual exchange. learn about semen retention. Sometimes stoping before that can have solid benefits
     
    Rudramast, Jul 18, 2016
    Rudramast, Jul 18, 2016
    #5
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  6. Jul 18, 2016 #6
    Hotshot

    Hotshot Fapstronaut

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    Hotshot, Jul 18, 2016
    Hotshot, Jul 18, 2016
    #6
  7. Jul 19, 2016 #7
    rave756

    rave756 Fapstronaut

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    Your call on whether to consider it a reset, suffice to say as you describe it you weren't using P, you were engaging with a real life person. That can be an accomplishment itself! But you may be facing the physiological problems associated with M such as death-grip. This may sound completely crazy at first read, but do you have to finish? If you have sex or touch each other and have a good time with it for what it is. You gf made need some reassurance that its OK if you don't O, that you enjoy the time with her and make sure she enjoys it too. You might need to do a longer reboot off of M before gaining the ability to O during sex.
     
    rave756, Jul 19, 2016
    rave756, Jul 19, 2016
    #7
    larrylarrylarry and feo1966 like this.
  8. Jul 19, 2016 #8
    NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    No, you should not have to reset. However, be aware of the chaser effect after orgasm, which will make it more tempting to masturbate in the days after you have sex.
     
    NoBrainer, Jul 19, 2016
    NoBrainer, Jul 19, 2016
    #8
  9. Jul 19, 2016 #9
    larrylarrylarry

    larrylarrylarry Fapstronaut

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    • I am done with P. No more. Forever. I know that. It's somewhat easy.
    • Death-grip. Yes that is a problem, I am going to avoid it going forward
    • O. I am addicted to O, I want to O, I need to O. I never edged, I do like to O; that's why PIED is driving me crazy. I have had a lot of sex with no O because of Delayed Ejaculation and stuff, especially in the morning when I would send my girlfriends off to work after they had an O. I have read about karezza and Tantra but those are not for me, sorry. I prefer not to do it, than sex with no O. That's why I am in hard mode till Thursday, Thursday I want to have a Big O.
    • I am willing and ready to do what it takes, probably continuing in PM-mode but limit Sex to once a week for a while, then more frequent as things improve. For a while I was having sex regularly twice a day, morning and evening, and I loved it. I don't think I can ever go back to that, but 3-4 times a week is something to shoot for.
    Thank you for your comment, everything helps.
     
    larrylarrylarry, Jul 19, 2016
    larrylarrylarry, Jul 19, 2016
    #9
  10. Jul 19, 2016 #10
    Rudramast

    Rudramast Fapstronaut

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    If you want to get rid of PIED you have to be patient and wait for a total reboot that might take up to 3 months. I know it's hard but maybe you also have to be cured from a certain addiction to the need to O. If you take this challenge the hard mode, eventually I'm confident in the fact that in a few month you'll be able tu have sex and ejaculate with no PIED.
    Good luck bro.
     
    Rudramast, Jul 19, 2016
    Rudramast, Jul 19, 2016
    #10
  11. Jul 19, 2016 #11
    larrylarrylarry

    larrylarrylarry Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the comment and suggestions, I've been thinking along the same lines:

    * Porn is out, and forever, that's a given
    * M is also out for a while.
    * I am doing Hard Mode for 4 days, not much, I know, but I want to test first; and I don't want to set a goal and then fail; I'd rather set smaller but higher and higher goals and succeed, so that each goal feeds the next - higher - goal
    * Maybe I am overly optimistic, but while I understand that complete healing will take months if not longer, I am already "feeling better", in these 8 days things have improved a lot, physically and mentally.
    * Today I am getting a new shipment of ED medicine: daily C1alis, I am going to wait till after the 4-days of hard mode are over before starting taking that, I am very hopeful that the daily C + No P + NoFap will solve a lot of issues.

    Thank you for your input, the entire NoFap community is great!
     
    larrylarrylarry, Jul 19, 2016
    larrylarrylarry, Jul 19, 2016
    #11
  12. Sep 30, 2021 #12
    Bon-Bon XO

    Bon-Bon XO Fapstronaut

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    Sex is always better when you don't ejaculate.
    look into something called karezza sex, you'll see what I mean.
    There's a whole book about it, check it out.
    canadian: https://www.amazon.ca/Cupids-Poison...=cupid's+poisoned+arrow&qid=1633043203&sr=8-1

    USA: https://www.amazon.com/Cupids-Poiso...=cupid's+poisoned+arrow&qid=1633043225&sr=8-1

    It's well worth the money
     
    Bon-Bon XO, Sep 30, 2021
    Bon-Bon XO, Sep 30, 2021
    #12
  13. Oct 1, 2021 #13
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    this gets me
     
    Deleted Account, Oct 1, 2021
    Deleted Account, Oct 1, 2021
    #13

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