In retrospect, what mistake did your parents make in raising you?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Blackest Bile, Oct 7, 2018.

  1. Blackest Bile

    Blackest Bile Fapstronaut

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    Self-explanatory.

    My parents cared TOO much for me. ("well at least your parents cared about you ..." you might say.) Indeed, you are right, I don't think I was a sad kid because of that. Thing is, my parents were always scared of anything. They always wanted to know everything.
    Controlled me from toes to head. Curfew. No alcohol. No drugs. Who is he? Who is she? If you EVER take drugs you gonna kill both of your parents. You got the hang of it right?
    I still was a happy kid. I attended a private school, had a decent job, was always there for my friends and family. Had a good heart. Played music, did a lot of sports. Good grades. Enjoyed life.

    Though, through all of this, this is what happened.
    I got arrested by the police for doing a stupid thing. Got into a lot of fights. Took a lot of drugs while being very young (and at the same time was with people that aren't good friends). Had tattoos and stretches (it's not a mistake, but what I mean is I was a "rebel"). Lied to my parents for so much shit. Was really mean sometimes with people.

    I know a lot of people who their parents "cared" for them but let them live their own experience. I didn't had the chance to live them. So I kinda RUSHED myself into all of these bad choices. Not to fight against my parent. But like, it all happened like that. And I feel like if I had more freedom, things wouldn't had turned out like this. Now I'm free from all these types of bad behaviors but, I still think it was hardly related. I dunno
     
  2. Millenial

    Millenial Fapstronaut

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    My parents never lined up employment that I might do in the future, not even a back up job. It was just never really discussed. Also they never really told me how much money would matter as an adult.

    I feel I wasted so much time as a child learning knowledge and skills which I cannot monetize, and now I'm quite poor when I could've been rich!
     
  3. Randy

    Randy Fapstronaut

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    My mom told me that masturbation was OK.
     
  4. KS1994

    KS1994 Fapstronaut

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    All of them.
     
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  5. Grow_out_of_it

    Grow_out_of_it Fapstronaut

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    My mother gave me the freedom I didn't deserve. She had faith in me she still does but I didn't give her the justice I should have given with that amount of freedom.
     
  6. Jen@8675309

    [email protected] Distinguished Fapstronaut

    I was disowned when I came out as a lesbian to them.
     
  7. That sucks :(
     
  8. Gotham Outlaw

    Gotham Outlaw Fapstronaut

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    My mom for some incorrect reason or another thought that I had autism, and never bothered to get me tested for it or talk to a doctor about it. She mentioned it a lot, and I felt like there was something wrong with me for all my school years.
     
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  9. Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

    I choose not to point out their flaws. The only thing I can hope for regarding their parenting is to repay their kindness some day.

    I mean they didn't make any mistakes. Were they perfect? No. But they raised me the best they could given the junk left over from the way they were brought up.

    I am not trying to defend their faults. I think it is helpful to an extent to see where our childhood might have gone off the rails and exactly at what point we boarded the crazy train but blaming them personally for making mistakes is something I can no longer do. It has nothing to do with pride, we are anonymous here ffs.
     
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  10. Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

    Why is that B word on your profile dude? Wtf is that shit about?!
     
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  11. It isn't like people are naming and shaming their parents.
     
  12. Wasn't really given the "talk" to much, let alone any discussion on pornography. Also, their parenting style was a little different from my ideals. They were more strict (in some ways) and prohibitive (not now at all, this was when i was younger). My mom forced religion on us, which i disagree with. I do think the catholic religion is a "good" religion for a child to be raised in terms of values.

    It kinda messed me up a bit. But understand that this "complaint" is not a big deal, as parents abuse and hate there kids.

    I love my parents though! Really awesome and good people, better than me lmao.

    But yeah, i would just let my kids do whatever after middle school (partying, drinking, etc). Also, i think it's absoluetly vital for an individual to choose his own path.

    Like, being born into a religion sucks man. I'll be like, you support this shit? Religion is honestly fucked. I'm not atheist at all, but i dont think im catholic. I had to find out my life on my own. I think it's cool to introduce your beliefs to your kids and whatnot, but to force them to be in it is unethical and just plain wrong. Again, for little kids this is fine bc they not smrt enough to understand, im talking high school aged. You want to go out and party? Good. Go for it, if i restricted them like my mom did then that defeats the entire purpose of raising an individual. You raise a individual for them be an individual, not a person who was forced to align w your ideals.

    Also, im a big believer of if you tell a teen not to do something. They gonna do it even harder if they have interest in it. That's when things get out of hand
     
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  13. drac16

    drac16 Fapstronaut

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    They didn't beat me enough. I was a bad kid and I deserved a few whacks.
     
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  14. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    They didn’t bother showing up for my birth!
     
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  15. My parents were too strict and protective. The second I got the slightest independence I did something I knew they wouldn't let me do. I did the first guy who'd do me, and continued to do so, for 17 years.
     
  16. hardowner

    hardowner Fapstronaut

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    My father was and is working all the time, so I didn't see him much. Most time we were with our mother. She screamed hysterically. She threatened that she would kill herself or disappear. She wished many time that she was still single, hang out all the time and smoke. She threatened that she would throw our toys away. Generally, she loves throwing things away and this is a huge stabbing for me, because I love keeping things. Her solution to all the problems and challenges was brute force, while my father was moderate and more effective...
     
  17. My dad didn't loved my mom, which is not really my business but it affected me because I learnt that a man should never pay attention to his woman, and that's what I still look for. My mom was guilty of not leaving him due to religion, and if she had we might have starved because I was a little girl and my grandparents never supported my mom a lot so we were trapped until mom got money and I grew up and made her see something wasn't ok. It affected me a lot. Another mistake might have been to overprotect me, because right now I'm a very insecure person. I was diagnosed as a gifted girl and mom never brought me to a school for gifted children, which I think was ok but sometimes I can't help thinking that in such a place I might have found some friendships with which I can hang out easier.
    Anyway she did a lot of nice things and my dad despite his mistakes gave me food and home, so I'm grateful with them.
     
  18. They both worked and started leaving me home alone when I was like 8, so I think I have a fear of abandonment. I remember being lonely during the summer when school was out and calling my mother at work telling her that I was depressed and she basically told me to suck it up and that I'd be fine. I think times have changed and people are a bit more cautious about their parenting style. Things were a bit different 40 years ago.
     
  19. Blackest Bile

    Blackest Bile Fapstronaut

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    Bile? It's from a song I really enjoy and it is really meaningful for me. Is that a problem?
     
  20. Bile is a liquid in the human body related to digestion, nasty kind of stuff I guess, that’s probably why he’s asking.
     
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