In retrospect, what mistake did your parents make in raising you?

I understand, it’s the other guy who had the problem not me.

 

- My parents threatened to send me to military school, in hindsight they should have lol.
- Father is a controlling sociopath.
- They “encouraged” (semi forced) me to go to a private college, get a mostly worthless degree, and come out with $60k in student loans, which would be fine if my degree wasnt mostly worthless. My first full time job (which took months to find) paid $22k per year...(fortunately I make a lot of money now so it worked out, but my degree doesn’t help me with that job,and I’m still stuck with the debt).
- Coddled and controlled me through guilt and manipulation, which made me really good at just living a secret life.
- Oh here’s a good one. Intentionally drove division between me and my wife after I was found out and tried to (and initially succeeded at) turning me against her.
- Consistenly broke boundries and used my addiction against me to try to regain their control over me as a young adult.
- Turned members of the family against my wife.
- The list goes on.

They are fucking awful.

 

They though that school would teach me everything. Relationships? Absolutely fuckin' clueless. The ol' Rickey Mooney Man-to-Man talk? Never happened. Employment, or any other life advice? Narry a thought. How to tie a tie, or even tie my shoes? I learned the first from the Internet and the second from some kid at the playground.

How to yell and scream, or blow up over nothing? I learned that from them.

This thread seems like a "fuck my parents" thread. While I don't think they did me many favors, I still think it's mostly my own fault. Still, if I ever have kids, I desperately want to do better.

 

They were never parents. My father was a great uncle who came over every couple of months or once a year and buy my lollies and yogurts as a child and when I was a teenager he was a cool uncle who let me go parties and offers to pick up his 14 year old daughter from a party at 3am.

My mother was this cool aunt who lives far away and I see every couple of years and would occasionally send me clothes.

My grandmother was great carer who made sure I had food, house and clothes. When I became a teenager and one of my real aunties took that responsibility. Again just the basics which meant I never had any supervision, nobody parented me and I taught myself everything I know.

 

Oh I can relate to this. The only real advice I got from my dad was save 10 percent of everything and be in the top 10 percent at what you do. I didn't learn how to balance a checkbook until I was in the Army. Well I did turn out successful mostly because PMO and phrases from my mom like "It's that easy huh" made me a mean self centered SOB. Luckily I have turned the corner and my biggest conquest now is conquering this evil.

 

They weren’t strict with me especially on how I spend my time. All I did for much of my teenaged years was exercise, do sport and play video games... I was addicted to all 3; I’d be cranky if I went a day without any of the 3. I wasn’t ever taught budgeting or or other useful lifestyles because I was too preoccupied doing those things.