1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

In the thick of it now. Fighting like hell to push through. Help.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by RadTrad, Oct 1, 2014.

  1. RadTrad

    RadTrad Fapstronaut

    22
    0
    1
    Not exactly sure how to begin here.
    Basically this is the story: I need help. I've been hooked on this garbage since I was about 14 or 15 and I've always hated it. I've always thought it was unhealthy and wrong but I just kept at it. Even when, at age 19, it became obvious that I was addicted and definitley suffering from PIED. It was until just this summer that I finally found the neccecary drive to fight this fight for real and break free. Motivated by being fed up, by feeling like the scum of the earth for secretly cheating on my wonderful girlfriend with porn, for violating my faith, and by a real fear of PIED meaning I won't be able to be truly intimate with her when I finally make this woman my wife. It hasn't been easy. I've been fighting the fight for months and the longest I've managed to go so far was about 16 days. But despite continued failures and frusterations, one thing is definitley different about this struggle to be free; I have not lost my drive to fight and be free.
    My first immediate goal is three weeks. Then the whole month of October. And on, until never ever again. AS OF TODAY it has been 13 days. Up to day 10 was fairly easy, but I knew from my past attempts that it wouldn't stay that way. Tomorrow is day 14, and it is getting really difficult. I'm pushing through with every technique and every toold I have available to me, but right now I'm really in the thick of it, and I need support.
    I have a number of lessons and tools I've gained to help me here. I've learned not to tease myself and that saying yes to something good is more effective and more important that just saying no to fap. I've read stories, studies, testimonials and more to reinforce my motivation as this gets difficult. Reading everything you fine gents post is a big help. Andit is my hope that I can get, at least while the hardest parts of this last, some real help and support. Because for various reasons I can't bring my "real-life" friends into this, but I need other people's help. SO here is the conise version: I am fighting to break free and commit to no fapping ever again (including no porn). My plan consists of the following rules and actions/commitments/tools

    Rule 1) Go to confession every week
    2) Go to daily mass at least twice a week (and every Sunday of course)
    3) No alcohol until reboot is complete, and caffine is limited
    4) Spend as little time alone as possible

    I will Excersice every day except Sundays
    I will Check NoFap every day for fresh inspiration
    I will find people to help me and keep me accountable

    I have also made a commitment on a site called StickK, and I would love for everyone to join my cause there to cheer me on, and for one motivated and generous person (who is also capable of being a dick when needed) to join it as my "referee" The idea of stickK is to set a goal, a timeline, and an amount of money at stakefor every "reporting period". If you don't meet your goal for that period (I set mine for weekly) then you lose that much money and it goes to a person/charity/anticharity of your choosing. This is my StickK page, please everyone help me out, here, and there.

    http://www.stickk.com/members/commitment.php/cid/370809

    I'm sick of feeling low, fatigued, fearful, I'm sick of impotence and anxiety. I deserve better, and far more importantly my beautiful girlfriend, my future wife, SHE deserves better. So I'm plowing on ahead. 13 days today. Its getting really tough. But I refuse to lose. I want to thank you all for everything you've already don to inspire me, and to beg for your help as I'm pushing through the most difficult part of this fight.
    -RadTrad
     
  2. damasciusj

    damasciusj New Fapstronaut

    4
    0
    1
    Hey RadTrad, man can I relate, especially as an Orthodox Christian. I'm with you on the fight, and am glad to help where I can. May this be ad majorem Dei gloriam!
     
  3. martinh

    martinh Fapstronaut

    51
    1
    8
    Thanks for your post.
    So inspiring to keep going on. This is a fight. A daily commitment to change our lifestyle. Leaving the past in the past.
     

Share This Page