Inability to ejaculate

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by impling12, Sep 17, 2018.

  1. impling12

    impling12 New Fapstronaut

    I finally got a girl, but I can't seem to ejaculate with her, I have no problem getting hard, but I just can't orgasm with her and I dunno what to do, she's getting worried that I don't find her attractive but that's not true at all I'm really attracted to her I just don't know what to do about it

    Previous history: haven't fapping to porn a week ago after going on and off often after a history of roughly 15 years.

    Ps: my balls hurt
  2. You need a full reboot. Porn is a superstimulous, and along with your body getting used to you using your own hand, it can make it impossible to O from normal sex

    No more porn, no more masturbation. You should tell your girl what the problem is as she will need to be aware and be patient with you. You should completely forget about orgasm for a while and focus on loving touch and intimacy (and please her with your mouth and hands - dont expect her to also go without orgasm while you are in recovery).

    Rebooting could take months - but it's worth it in the end and the only way to fix the issue. Good luck you you :)
    Jason_Tesla_19 and Immature like this.
  3. Spitfirewho

    Spitfirewho Fapstronaut

    It took me almost 3 months before I had an orgasm with my girlfriend and I had stopped mastermating porn almost 2 months before meeting her. A LOT of factors went into the first O I had with her. And it was one or two times of almost O-ing before I finally did. I hated it because she would get down on herself a lot about it and j would send her nofap articles and we would research together how but in the end it j must took time before I was able to O. Even when I did managed to O finally it would be okay for a few times then I would not be able to O for a few times, making me get into my head more and more. Now 5 months later and i still have issues at times, some are better than others but it's just what has to happen for healing.

    Does your girlfriend know about nofap or whatever your struggles have been? It may help her to not get down on herself, to know your healing.

    It may take weeks or months but it just takes time for your brain and dick to heal. Stay strong my friend. Any questions feel free to ask.
    JRex and Deleted Account like this.
  4. Yeh it took me 47 days after quitting to be able to O from sitting-on-his-face type oral.

    Took 246 days after quitting to O from laying-down oral.

    Still working on the rest! Im female though, female O is generally more elusive and trickier than male O.

    I have fairly regular O's with partner now but before starting nofap I hadn't O'd with a man in a decade - it does work.

    The reason I got in this mess by the way, my partner of a decade (and father of my child) was a pmo addict and refused to touch me, kiss me, wasnt interested in sleeping with me, I wasnt financially in a position to leave, sooo I sorted myself out, for a decade. I only even used porn a few times a month, i mostly used my imagination. Still messed me up good & proper! Do not underestimate the power of porn & masturbation to ruin your functionality!

    It can be a long journey but get started now & dont give up, lots of people here to support you :)
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. BornAlone

    BornAlone Fapstronaut

    Obviously I'm very new here, but you're pretty much in the same boat as me. This is the primary reason I'm here - a lifelong struggle with delayed ejaculation. I attribute this almost entirely to porn and an over-reliance on masturbation over the year. The difference is that I have a long-term partner.

    You're certainly not alone and brave for sharing your situation and I think rebooting, patience and communication is the best approach at this stage.

    As a side note: I'm glad there's a bit more of an understanding around these kind of issues and disorders nowadays, whereas 10-15 years ago when I first tried researching this online it almost always pointed to a biological condition or similar.
  6. @impling12
    Yes I was in the same position. I went from full on porn induced ED at like 21, to where you are, then having to watch myself so I dont premature ejaculate lol. It is the cycle that you go through when you stop porn and masturbation. I dont know how long it takes, i would say no more than 3-5 months depending on age. You'll be fine just stay off the pmo
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2018

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