INABILITY TO GIVE OR RECEIVE LOVE!

Programer: I'm not sure that PMO is the cause of the inability to give and receive love, but rather the result of something inside you that is afraid or unable to be vulnerable. Love and intimacy involves opening our psyches and emotions to others. If at some point in your life you were denied the love and attention you needed, you likely developed a response to handle the discomfort of not receiving this unfulfilled need. I'm not a psychologist, but I've read enough books and been through enough therapy to know that things that happened to me when I was very young set me up for many of my behaviors now.

The following may sound weird, but I encourage you to give it a try. Find some time to sit quietly by yourself some where you won't be disturbed. Get comfortable, relax with some deep or focused breathing. Find a picture of yourself as a toddler, or else bring to mind yourself as a toddler. Now in your mind, join the toddler as you are now, so there are two of you - the toddler and the adult. You don't need to think, say or do anything, just let your mind experience whatever comes up without judgement or criticism. You should plan on doing this multiple times over the course of weeks.

i did this exercise many times before anything happened, but I stuck with it. I started by envisioning my toddler self standing in a playpen waiting for someone to pick him up, so I picked him up, carried him on my shoulders, went for walks, talked to him. Every time I came back to this practice I found him in the playpen. Then one time the two of us decided to carry the playpen to the second story of a house and push it out the window. Dude, I didn't premeditate this process unfolding, it just happened. BAM! The playpen hits the ground and shatters. My toddler self explored into laughter. Ever since that mental image generated itself, when I bring the toddler to mind, he's not in the playpen and he's smiling and happy. Since this imagery happened, I've been a lot more comfortable with intimacy and love. It was like I released something; I released the toddler from confinement, gave him love, gave things he wanted but never got, AND was never able to ask for because he didn't have the words to ask.

We have to love ourselves before we can love others and allow them to love us. Self love is not selfishness; it's a requirement to beating this behavioral pattern we have to PMO.

Good luck with your journey.

Peace

 

Are these open relationships where it has been established (or implied) that you're all allowed to date other people?

 

Man, this is awsome advise. Thank for sharing it!!