im pretty anxious, don't remember being this way when I was younger. Socially I'm very anxious. When I'm with other people my age, I feel like they have tons of friends and a great life. I have a lot of great things and people in my life, but I really only have one friend, actually two friends. That fact bums me out. Stupid thing, but for example no one has ever thrown me a birthday party or invited me out for my birthday. I'm pretty isolated and I hate it. I feel stuck. When I trace it back, it all starts when I first became sexually active and looking at porn. I feel like other people have traveled around and are more experienced, had better times in college, post-college, etc. whereas I feel like I don't have any of those things. I feel like all I did was chase girls and beat off to porn. So in general I walk around anxious and worried that other people won't like me - so I avoid conflict = am not assertive - and also with worry that they might discover my dark secret: that I'm a loner/weirdo that has no friends. I can't help but wonder, what the fuck is wrong with me? People seem to like me. I have some character, I am morally clear on how to live and behave, I work hard, have talents, varied interests, but I am just so socially unsuccessful despite it all. Anyone else feeling this way in some part or whole?