Insights needed

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by HumbleMS, Mar 12, 2018.

  1. HumbleMS

    HumbleMS Fapstronaut

    155
    193
    63
    Im 24 i think i looked at porn when was 18. It was not often in those times. But in the past, 2 or 3 years ago, it got very addictive. I rebooted for a while,was sucessful and started to have normal sex. ED was cured.
    But i relapsed and ended back at the square one. Since than i have relapsed multiple times even though not everytime to porn but sometime just cause i wanted to have sex. But these orgasms hve delayed my progress a lot.
    I have decided now to quit the porn and MO completely.
    My question is right now im able to achieve erection but its not very strong and i cum lighting fast during penetration. It like the sensation is so high i cant seem to go any longer than 30 seconds. Will this problem of premature ejaculation is also caused by porn and will it be fixed with the rebooting?
    All help is appreciated and this is my first time asking for it.
     
  2. franco216

    franco216 Fapstronaut

    228
    138
    43
    See if the problem persists.

    For what I know, after you quit P and M, there is in principle nothing in your way to improve your performance during actual sex.

    Just keep having sex and see how things develop. There are of course general insights about sex and performance that might be helpful for you:

    * don't focus on the orgasm alone, instead make the whole thing enjoyable. This requires some talking with your partner, though. You can have an ultra-long foreplay without the intent of penetration. You can just cuddle, touch each other, lie next to each other ... and see how this can get you aroused (you might be surprised)
    * find a partner you can trust, don't try to perform, to impress or whatever ... make it an intimate moment where you share you feelings with each other, too
    * be sure to have the right goal in mind: I don't know how long your relationship is already going on and what your significant other means to you ... but it might be helpful to realize that your personal recovery is a long journey that might outlive your relationship. So even if things are still a bit odd, focus on the improvement that is already happening
     
    Hitto and HumbleMS like this.
  3. HumbleMS

    HumbleMS Fapstronaut

    155
    193
    63
    Thanks brother. Have you read anuthing in particular about PE being linked to Pmo
     
  4. franco216

    franco216 Fapstronaut

    228
    138
    43
    Things I've read about ED and P are all from this forum, I believe.

    But I have my personal experience now, too. And all in all, I would not try to link porn use too specifically with ED. (It might all depend on your exact PMO habits, though)
    • There are people who use P and have no problems during sex
    • There are people who suffer from ED and don't use P at all
    However ...

    In my case, abstaining from PMO helps with the whole process from initiating contact with a girl to actual moment of having sex. In my case, PMO is/was my substitute not only for orgasms but also for intimacy, relaxation, sexual stimulation, and more general: affection. You could say, PMO is my love substitute.

    I have a much stronger motivation to go out and meet girls and please them now (I'm more than 2 months PMO free at the moment).

    If I should relapse tomorrow and go back to regular PMOing, my motivation to change anything would vanish - I would be back having my sexual motivation short-circuited.

    At the moment, when I'm horny, I'm not jerking off, instead I feel that I have to go out more :)

    There are other stories here on the forums of people with very feetishy PMO habits where the sexual performance is apparently very strongly linked to the disability to have sex. And looking at those stories, one can see how even less extreme PMO habits already can have sort of an impact. My experience is that I have to learn to have pleasurable sex and PMO kept me from making any progress there for a way too long time.

    My actual ED could be performance anxiety though.
     
  5. HumbleMS

    HumbleMS Fapstronaut

    155
    193
    63
    That makes a lot of sense. Thanks
     
    franco216 likes this.

Share This Page