Internet behaviour problem

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Jodo Kus, Jul 20, 2016.

  1. Jodo Kus

    Jodo Kus Fapstronaut

    I want to come clean about something. It's my general behavioral problem when it comes to using the internet.

    In some days the only places where I still can use the internet will be in libraries and other public spaces or at friends. I will go there with a plan and time-frame to do certain specific things in the internet (hopefully). So this is not about: what direct measures can I take.

    But right now I'm still entertaining what I could call my internet addiction and I think it's a good moment to address it and maybe get some advice. Also I'm interested: who else has, on top of a porn addiction, a general internet addiction/problem.

    Actually I don't feel comfortable to use the word "addiction", because other than porn I don't want to quit it. But I want to get in control much better than before.

    Here some background: I learned to know the internet and I learned to know HSIP. Then I had a bad year with ups and downs but really in a bad condition. I used the internet very much, besides the social and info thing I was - of course - in porn, in games and in movies.
    That is all long ago. Today I'm not gaming anymore, I watch few clips rarely a movie, I fight against porn and I limit my internet time. But still... I see some patterns are still there. Often I just can't control my use of internet: I start the computer when I don't want to, I can't stop when I want to stop and I can't decide freely what to do. It's much more subtle then with porn. There are not these urges.

    In a way, nearly everybody may have this problem, because the internet is designed that way. And I'm not even the guy who clicks on every add, reads every bullshit...
    Well, sometimes I still DO engage in utter bullshit, I admit. Or often? ...

    Ok, I think it comes down to this: regardless of what was in the past, today I know my time is limited, I have goals, I have a passion to follow.
    So first comes the decision: what to do and what not, where to take leisure time or to allow a free flowing mind for new experiences, where to draw a line, make a cut. Then comes the realization, where the question is: can I realize my decision or am I driven by my compulsive behaviors most of the time (which is pretty much the case for me right now)

    What I just wrote came to my mind while writing, so I realize, talking about the problem is already helping.
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2016
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  2. I feel very much the similar way man. I am wasting a lot of time on internet that I could use on more productive things instead. And when I stop I feel very bad, I do feel urge. It's a huge procrastination tool for me. I'm trying to slowly work towards my goal of limiting it. But I feel that it would benefit me to do a reboot from internet for a while. That's something I am planning to do. This thing seems to be bigger addition than PMO for me. Ugh.
  3. xedger

    xedger Guest

    I agree and also think that this problem is underestimated. It's all very well not using the internet for porn, but there is an infinite amount of other crap out there that you can numb your brain with. It is possible to acquire a vast amount of superficial and useless 'knowledge' from compulsive internet use. This information may be misleading or plain wrong, but what is worse is that it exhausts our mental energy, and we could all be using that to make our lives better.

    I have started using Qustodio because as well as blocking PMO stuff it allows me to impose strict time limits on my access to the internet.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 21, 2016
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  4. Hotshot

    Hotshot Fapstronaut

    Don't get too carried away with the thoughts of wasted time. Whatever you do in your free time was not wasted time. Keep in mind I have 1 game alone I with 1,200 DAYS played. That is in game moving because there is an automatic 5 minute timer that logs you out. Just one game. Could I have used thousands of hours to become a doctor? Probably. Would I have ACTUALLY DONE IT? Absolutely not. Just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you WILL do it. So be honest with yourselves.

    Also keep in mind many people want to do things like hike to lose weight or go to college for a better job. These are nice goals but they aren't YOUR GOALS. They are someone else's or you'd be pursuing them already. You could walk 15 miles a day and spend 3 hours doing it to lose weight but then you're just 125 lbs with nothing to show for it least I still have my in game pixels! :D
  5. Hotshot

    Hotshot Fapstronaut

    Haha to be clear, when I said nothing to show for it... yea you'd have lost weight but there's nothing you could do to help other people :p in game you could redistribute wealth to help friends or sell it irl for monetary gain.
  6. Jodo Kus

    Jodo Kus Fapstronaut

    Thank you, I appreciated all replies!

    @Hotshot ok, but you seem to miss the point a little bit. If you make a choice to game that's ok, but if you loose that free choice there is a problem, right?
    @xedger I looked at Qustudio and I will try it out when it's time to. Thanks!

    I thought about proposing an accountability group for this thing. But then it would mean, we had to go online to do something about our internet problem. So that's kind of fucked up. And for me this forum is definitely part of the problem. What I want here is actually to stay accountable about my Reboot and reinforce my motivation.

    The internet thing is to be tackled offline mostly, that's what I think. I propose to use pen & paper to write down: what do I want to do online / what do I not want to do ? How long?...

    And as you can see, I have a counter now.
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2016
  7. vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

    @Jodo Kus :
    facebook: endless scrolling
    google: distracting links
    instangrams: like facebook, endless pics
    youtube: recommendations from the right + comments
    news websites: related news

    so let's say i classify information from a website into two parts: main contents and additional contents.
    additional contents are distractions which keep us stay online and somehow we don't know why we need those additional contents.
    what if those additional contents were removed (by adblocks or imges blocking for example), would we get less distractions and less use internet mindlessly? yes. it can solve the problem partly, but still worth it. for example, we may read more on an academic research site rather than a public shared site and much than a news site.

    a bigger problem i think is hidden behind : additional contents are not visible, but in our mind. let's take nofap for example, nofap can also be addictive and be used mindlessly as well. however, it's still better for reading than news site especially news about entertainment industry. i write a post, wait for comments or just wait for new threads or new posts from someone, now those information are hidden additional contents which occur in our mind. for this problem, i don't think this is just internet addiction problem anymore, it's problem of our unconscious mind which lack of concentration.

    therefore, for now i just think of one way to deal with the second problem is a long ass mindfulness (meditation) which helps us focus on one only, pass thru boredom by facing boredom. eyes must be locked on one tiny point as long as possible
    Jodo Kus likes this.
  8. Jodo Kus

    Jodo Kus Fapstronaut

    Well said.

    The improvements I've made in the last year are much about WHAT I do online. Now it's about the question of HOW and HOW LONG . Here's a list of things that bug me:

    • "sucked in" phenomenon
    • no time settings - it's up to momentary decisions how long I stay on a subject or online
    • can't stop phenomenon - this is when I look at the clock and I WANT to do something else but I just can't stop
    • no to do's - although I might have vaguely an agenda in my mind or I THINK that I have a purpose, it's not clear and up to momentary decisions what I actually do online
    • self-boycott - although I say myself what to do it's just lip service, I don't listen to myself
    • avoiding of work and what needs concentration - a general behavior of easy going, following the stream; it's an important issue: even if I study I tend to do avoid the real work
    • Internet time as a daily habit - too much of internet is just a daily habit of mine, the impulse to start the PC is inherent in my daily routine
    • Neglecting real life activities - for example eating
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2016

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