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Internet history exposed...possibly

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Fractuul112358, Feb 1, 2021.

  1. Fractuul112358

    Fractuul112358 Fapstronaut

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    Lol yeah maybe I could get him a dildo haha... I know it must sound crazy, and I do know it's pretty irrational. I just have been on edge lately and it's hard to get this stuff out of my head. The what if they know and all, but im working on it. Just recently got back into therapy. Hope this works out. Thanks again.
     
  2. Beekind

    Beekind Fapstronaut

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    Heal before u have to.
     
    Fractuul112358 likes this.
  3. Fractuul112358

    Fractuul112358 Fapstronaut

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    So I have been in therapy since my last post. I have learned many tools on how to cope with my diagnosis, OCD. I have working very hard on trying to fix my mental state for my self and mine and my fiances relationship. I wanted to tell her everything I was going through. I know that it's been so hard on our relationship and I hate seeing her sad. I ended up telling her everything that's been going on with me. I mean everything, because I wanted her to know the while truth... it backfired on me and she left me. I'm devastated. Not only did she leave me, she gutted me. She ripped my heart out and stompped on it like we never mattered. Like 13 years was nothing. One of her best friends and a friend of mine died in a motorcycle accident the day before and she cried for hours. I was there consoling her. All our friends were sad. I was sad. She dumped me the next day. She was so cold. She didn't even cry. She has been just distant like I am nothing. On top of it, all our friends are mourning our friend that died so it's like this didn't even happen to me. Nobody has said a word to me. I feel like garbage.

    I know this is depressing. But i gotta let it out. I wanted to start a family with her she was my everything and she killed me. I feel like two people died this week.
     
  4. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    I've read through the whole thread, for everyone who was saying he should tell the whole truth, where are you now?

    You're complicit in creating a divorce/break up.

    To OP: You have strengths and weaknesses like every other person, it's time you worked on getting rid of your weaknesses, take responsibility for your life or stay where you are currently and blame others for your situation.

    It's your choice.
     
    Fractuul112358 likes this.
  5. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Far better than her stumbling on it after they married. I’m confused though since he said he told her everything back in February and she was supportive. It’s my guess he didn’t tell her everything and he trickled the information to her instead, which is very, very damaging.
     
  6. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

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    I am here (I'd recall that I was one of the people you are calling out) and will not regret advocating for honesty. I don't see value in relationships that are based on lies. I'm sorry about the fact that this couldn't end up better, but I'd give the same advice all over again if I had to.
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  7. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    Most of the blame goes to him, but your reckless advice makes you guilty aswell.

    There is a difference between being honest about a problem you're dealing with and giving unnecessary details that won't help anyone.

    I read some of you were encouraging him to tell her all the details of what he was watching after he came clean about his problem. She didn't need to know that(and she said herself when he talked about his addiction, he's an idiot for going further than that point).

    If I saw this in february, I would've told him not to say anything whatsoever and just overcome the addiction in secret, he got it in secret, it's only proper he takes care of it the same way.

    I've done it that way and so have many others, it's no ones business to know what you're going through in your development if you don't want to tell them.

    It doesn't help to say that you're a porn addict, you might aswell beat the addiction and it will be the same as you having never been one.

    Like I said I don't fully blame you because the guy is borderline retarded(he told her details she said she didn't want to hear the day after their friend died, talk about timing lol, I don't blame her tbh(rip to the friend)), but you bear some responsibility aswell.
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2021
  8. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Do not ever marry someone you cannot be honest with. I told him to be honest about his addiction, I did not tell him to go into details. I’ve been married almost 30 years, lying to your spouse is one of the most damaging things you can do to them and the relationship. Maybe get into recovery before you start a relationship if you can’t be honest. Once you’ve been clean 5 years, then maybe think about marriage.
     
    Quezatolah likes this.
  9. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    This guy was very wise, I'd add to his point that it would be a gamble, just overcome it in secret and never tell her anything. That way you win and can be confident in the relationship and she doesn't get burdened for no reason, it's a win win.
     
  10. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

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    You may think that if you wish to. I don't really care wether you blame me or not. Just wanted to point out that I regret nothing I've said here.
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  11. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

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    Lol, I skimmed through the thread and it turns out I have never actually even given this guy any advice. XD
    But had I done so, I'd have recommended honesty.
     
  12. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    I honestly feel bad for him, his family is going to know why his fiance left him, imagine that.

    @Fractuul112358 this is probably the time to cut all ties, move and start a new life somewhere.
     
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  13. Fractuul112358

    Fractuul112358 Fapstronaut

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    I didn't end up telling her the exact type of porn until about a month ago. I just couldn't stand to keep it from her anymore. I did think she would be more understanding. This is nobodies fault but mine. I appreciate any advice I got from anyone here. I just decided to tell her and it definitely did not workout how I hoped. The issues with her family got worse. I felt I was being gaslight and I told my ex how I was feeling and she couldn't accept it. And I just told her what I believed. I believed that the may have seen the porn I was watching and it was transexual porn. At first she took it ok, but I think it just didn't sit right with her. I tried to explain that porn escalates over the weeks and how it's an addiction and I sent her some videos on it. She says she broke up with me because of past issues but I think this had something to do with it too. I just need to accept this and keep working on myself. I just want her to be happ, but I'm devastated that she can't be happy with me.
     
    Chefb87 likes this.
  14. I am really sorry to hear that. When I was in the throes of addiction, after I got better my other half mentioned something about me being disconnected from her before. You might not realise it, but she could be talking about a side affect of your addiction not knowing it is related. You should find out what her issues are from before and see it they are still a problem. I admitted I watched trans stuff before to my gf and she was disgusted. But I improved myself as a person and told her the affects of porn escalation etc. It's never too late dude.
     
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  15. Fractuul112358

    Fractuul112358 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. I hope it's not too late. I need to give it time. I need to work on myself and if she wants to see me again and wants to talk then maybe I can try to explain it better to her.
     
    Chefb87, Gmork 2 and The Passenger like this.

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