Interpersonal social anxiety and nofap?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by RebootingProtestant, Oct 13, 2021.

  1. RebootingProtestant

    RebootingProtestant Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys. So I've noticed that every time I get a streak above 10, I lose all my social anxiety and am able to win friends, influence people, and express myself in a way that is most accurate to who I truly am. This is amazing and I definitely believe there is a correlation in there somewhere. I just wanna know if anyone else has had this same experience. This subject of interpersonal communication has always been interesting to me, but I never was good at it until I lost all my social fear and stopped worrying about what other people thought. I want to know if you guys have developed any habits/ read any good books on this topic, or if you have any stories about this.
     
    Future Bloomer likes this.
  2. determined99

    determined99 Fapstronaut

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    There is some correlation. If you love life you don't pmo and be more social.
    You don't think too much, you just enjoy your life.
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2021
  3. Future Bloomer

    Future Bloomer Fapstronaut

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    I can definitely relate to that. This could be the result of the healing of the dopamine receptors. Since you aren't numbing yourself anymore, you can enjoy the little things and be more present in life.

    After a relapse my conversations feel like I'm choosing dialoge options of a video game. I'm completely detached and have to force myself to pay attention.

    After a big streak I can effortlessly say the right thing and the right time, especially if I have Dale Carnegie's concepts fresh in my head :)

    Eventhough I'm naturally an introvert, I can remember some epic times where I was extremely sociable during a big streak. Like being the most outgoing person of a group of 30 nervous people during a avaluation for internship. Or being complemented by a pizza delivery man that said he always liked to come to my house because we have nice conversations. Or having a nurse that I met during a blood test tell my mother that I was special and she wished she had a son like me. Note, my mother only met this same nurse 4 months after I went there and she still vividly remembered me.

    In conclusion, for me there is no doubt abstaining from PMO can vastly improve your social skills. Keep crushing it man.
     
    determined99 likes this.
  4. Dioplleo_547

    Dioplleo_547 Fapstronaut

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    I wish I could relate to what you guys are saying. You guys are able to regain confidence after 10 day streaks meanwhile I am still stuck here being the same introverted guy I was on day one.

    Starting conversations does not come naturally but I think this is good because I can eavesdrop on some men and then throw in a joke or two then they invite me to the conversation.

    From my experience most men have appreciated my jokes and let me join the conversation anyway they do get mad at the fact that I eavesdrop but they are willing to forgive that because of the jokes I tell and we even have good and interesting conversations.

    Despite being an introverted guy, I strongly believe I am 10x better at talking to men than women. Talking to men comes naturally to me, we will often have at least one thing in common and since they don't sexually excite me they don't bring out the same sensitive energy I would have around women. But around women it's a catastrophe. My shyness and sensitivity goes into overdrive as a way to defend me and women from mannerisms my hormones become warheads, my testosterone turns into radioactive liquid. I have not had many conversations with women except with teachers, nurses, and those in my family. Other than that not so much. I've been wanting a relationship with a woman since high school. But I have had no success. I think the problem stems from 50% of my shy introversion, 50% because women rev my engine so much it ends up breaking all speed limits. I feel like I can't help it at all. Almost everything about the opposite sex turns me on!!! Heck even doing basic things with women turns me on like shaking hands. I think the worst part about it is I feel as if I have nothing in common with women. Yet I have the desire to spend the rest of my life with one.

    So to conclude I feel NoFap can't help me with my social skills but it can help me boost my sexual prowess.
     
    Future Bloomer likes this.
  5. depeche69

    depeche69 Fapstronaut

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    I had this experience today.
    Im current on a soft mode streak day 15+ (No Porn, No Masturbation).
    Today at work some co-worker came to me and started conversation. They tried to keep the conversation and started to tell about their private life, which i didn't asked. I tried to cancel the conversation but they keep talking.

    After that at home i've done my sweeping week. Then suddenly my older neighbour couple came to me and started a conversation. Normally they just ignore me besides the standard greeting.

    This experience i had often in long streak. I cannot explain this. It's like magic.
     
    Future Bloomer likes this.
  6. Future Bloomer

    Future Bloomer Fapstronaut

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    Lol, I see why you are good at telling jokes.

    Having nothing in common with women (or any person) should not exclude you from having a nice conversation with them. Simply change your mindset to treat every conversation as a learning opportunity and become genuinely interested in the other person. Paying attention and asking the right questions is all you need to get by. Let me give you an example, I first talked with a girl that would become a girlfriend of mine on a 2-hour train ride. At the beginning of the conversation, she mentioned she was learning Japanese and was really into Japanese culture. Mind you, I don’t know much about Japan, and I know nothing about the Japanese language. I could have just said “cool” or “interesting” and moved to tell her about the language I was learning and what my interests were, but instead I treated the situation as a great opportunity to learn something new. I asked her many things such as what she liked about Japanese culture, when she started learning Japanese, how the alphabet worked, asked her to teach me how to say something in Japanese, etc. Basically, I would ask anything that popped into my head while paying attention to her. We ended up having a great time because I got learn something new and she got to talk about what she liked. People (and especially women) love to talk about their interests and they also love to do that to someone that is genuinely paying attention to them. Instead of thinking how much you would like to get into that girl’s pants, try to just focus on having a nice conversation and see where that leads you.

    Perhaps reading the books “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie and “How to be a 3% Man” by Corey Wayne could be helpful to you. They have drastically helped me with my social and dating skills respectively.
     
    Dioplleo_547 likes this.

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