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Intimacy while on PMO reboot

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Reborn16, Nov 4, 2017.

  1. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I'd like to get people's thoughts on the idea of dating and allowing intimacy during a 90 day PMO reboot.

    My therapist recently said it would be good for me to date and that sex would not disrupt my reboot process.

    What I should note is my problem is 95% porn addiction, I have little trouble giving up masturbation.

    So my question is, if I happen to get intimate with a woman while in PMO reboot, would you guys consider this a real set back? or not a big deal?

    I realise this would make some part of my reboot PM free only, but I also see it difficult to explain to someone why I can't have sex for a month or two.
     
  2. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    I would cross the bridge when you get to it. That is, if you are dating a woman and have strong feelings for her, by all means have sex with her IF the two of you want it. After all, isn't healthy sex the entire idea behind NoFap?

    Not only would I NOT count that as a relapse or reset, I'd call if darned near cured!

    That said, I'd manage my counter by what you have listed as a goal. If it's no PMO.....then recount. If your goal is no PM, then change your counter to reflect that.
     
  3. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply, I agree if it happened and porn wasn't on my mind.. should be a success!

    I don't want to make it my total focus either, there's a good chance it won't even happen for a while anyways haha.

    Here's where the day counter gets tricky and I'm probably over thinking it.. My goal is to be PMO free, with the only exception being healthy sex with a partner.

    But if it did happen, I could change my goal to PM free, but keep the same days maybe? I wouldn't call it a relapse either, but I wonder if it would slow down my progress compared to 90 days 'hard mode'.
     
    Davidphd1866 likes this.
  4. Ready to be healthy

    Ready to be healthy Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Sex and Intimacy with a real life person- especially if you care for them and are in a relationship is 100% healthier than fapping to porn and having that real life intimacy is the goal for many people on here.

    Having sex with your partner is not against the reboot process nor would it count as a relapse- it's your journey and it's up to you to define it's parameters.

    If you intend to start having sex then you probably will have to change your goal to just abstaining from PM as obviously you will be orgasming- but as long as you keep away from porn and solo masturbation then I would say you are not relapsing.

    Just be careful of the chaser effect and such as well as a lot of guys who have sex during a reboot often stumble due to this.
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  5. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for that,
    I am jumping the gun a bit, but just wanted to get a few opinions on this all the same.

    I will change my goal if I get into a relationship most likely. I think for now I'll just concentrate on the PMO free journey, and not try to rush anything else. I also would not want to have a chaser effect and end up confusing someone in a relationship. So far I'm doing enough just confusing myself lol!
     
    Ready to be healthy likes this.
  6. Ready to be healthy

    Ready to be healthy Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I can totally understand where you are coming from :) Just take it one day at a time and see how you get on :)
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  7. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Just remember Reborn, a lot of guys here would be delighted to have your situation. Just never lose sight of the larger picture.

    As for my counter, ANY P or M or O will reset my counter. Yet, I will not turn down sex with my wife. The counter is just a tool. My real goal is normal sex with my spouse.
     
    kropo82 and Reborn16 like this.
  8. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    That's a good way to think about it David. My main goal is to live day to day independent of porn, where I would normally use it as a way to cope with stress or boredom.

    If sex happened though I would have to change my counter, but it wouldn't effect my most important goal of getting away from porn in that case.
     
    Davidphd1866 likes this.

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