Intro: A Christian Minister brave enough to get better

Greetings fellow Fapstronauts,

Just wanted to introduce myself to the forums.

I am 42 years old and have struggled with PMO since the age of 9. While I grew up in a Chrsitian family, I was able to find XXX content through the Satellite-Dish installed at our house. That channel became my Sex-Ed and to this day I still have powerful memories of the porn stars I was exposed to.

I did not know what M was but figured it out through self-discovery while watching P. M was so great because it helped me feel good when I was down, depressed, or felt rejected (particularly by girls).

As I mentioned in my thread, I am a Christian and have believed that sex outside of marriage was wrong. I decided to use PMO as a means of being a "fornication-loophole". I became a minister and still used this. I attempted to stop PMO off and on for years, but eventually I would succumb to my urges. There would be times I would stay up to late hours of the night engaging in PMO and losing sleep

Well, I met my wife and got married at the age of 34, and felt good about the fact that I had kept my virginity before marriage. Little did I know how much damage that was going to bring to my future relationships.

Before going further I want to encourage all young people/teenagers to not be fooled into thinking that M or P helps you. It destroys intimacy. You become desensitized to sexual stimulation and often compare the fantasies of P to what we experience in actual contact.

Often after having sex with my wife, I would go off and still feel compelled to M. Sometimes to reach orgasm, I would fill my head with different types of P. It would just continue to escalate. My sexual appetite GREATLY overshadowed my wife, and rather than being open and honest with my wife and communicating, I would take matters "into my own hands". Frustration at work, no sex from wife, stress or anxiety...no problem just fap.......and use porn to help you hit O more quickly.

The reason I joined NoFap is because I want to encourage young people on this journey to not think that you will one day get married and all of these problems go away. Don't bring it I to your future. Trust me. You will be better for it.....

And for the Christian's here, I wanted them to not feel alone because leaders suffer from this as well.

What I am encouraged about though, is that we are honest enough to call this stuff what it is, and I am taking back all the intimacy God has for me between me and my wife.

Also, while I am a Chrsitian I want to encourage everyone (regardless of Worldview or belief-system) and not preach to people on this forum.

We all have this monster in common and I want to be light and hope to everyone. So men, women, atheist, queer,etc feel free to communicate with me.

May we all grow and be the best versions of ourselves by leaving/fighting against the destructive nature of PMO in this hyper sexualized society that we live in.