How did you come to NoFap, and what is your story? Why did you join this group, what do you hope to gain from it? It was a couple of days before my counter that I had a Discovery Day with my wife. She found a secret stash of digital porn I had collected and amassed over several years. All of it was original content, ten of thousands of images. I had reescalated my porn use at that time to view it any moment I could on my phone, be it on my commute, while waiting for the bus or train, really all day everyday. The novelty was wearing off, I was not finding new stuff, but still couldn’t stop looking for it. She was thorough in her discovery, and was able to sort of understand how I ended up with my collection. It was then I was able to tell her the truth and admit I needed help and was an addict. I think it took a day or two and we decided to join the forums here at NoFap. I want to say she found it and suggested it. It was something, as I distrust psychologists/psychiatrists/counselors, we also were cash strapped from recently moving into a new home, our first home. I symbollically deleted my collection in front of her the next day, a welcomed purge of my obsession, the start of a life unburdened from P and it’s hold on me. A release from its bonds it had on me. I looked into accountability software, and the myriad of blockers, and everything seemed sub par, or expensive and wouldn’t cut it for my technology work. So we decided to just turn on parental controls. It took a few weeks for me to muster the courage to have a disclosure to her about other things in my stash she didn’t want to believe I put there. I spoke the truth, and let her know the depths of my escalation relating to what was there and what it was and what it meant. I have been P free since day one, no relapses, but know I still have recovery to do, and while our marriage is stronger than ever, and our communication has improved, there is still much work to be done to get out from under the crushing rock I drug us under. This brings me to this group. I know my addiction thrives in the dark. It relishes in the denial. It still wants to preserve its way of life over me. While my sobriety has allowed me to see many of the ways it has affected me, it also allows me to see new things, new reasons it still has a hold on who I am. There is always more to do in recovery, it must be a way of life, or we instinctively fall back to our same patterns of behavior we relied on as PAs, or what drove us into the throes of addiction to begin with. I choose connection over disconnection, vulnerability over defensiveness, honesty over secrecy, and love over lust. Part of a continual recovery is giving back to those that need our help. I am here to support you, because I also need your help. We cannot do this alone. I know, i’ve Been there in some fashion or sick way. You’ve probably been there too, and can help me find a way out of the dark hole I put myself in, and extend a hand to pull me out. I will reach for you if you will reach for me. Together we can overcome our struggle and help each other.