Introducing Me

Hello!

I'm 23-year-old university student and I have been addicted to porn and excessive masturbation for about 8 years. The reason why I wanted to stop now, is that my addictions destroyed my relationship with the woman I love more than anything. My libido was non-existent and I turned her down many times when she wanted to do the deed with me. Eventually we did not see each other as much we used to and we decided to break up. The break-up was my idea and and I reasoned it by saying that I have too much going on with school and my hobbies that I don't have enough time for her. At the time I had acknowledged that I have problem with porn and masturbation but I still made myself believe that it was not the biggest reason for the break-up. She did not not have any idea that I had these addictions during our relationship.

We still managed to remain friends after the break-up and I thought things were going to be alright. Then after a couple months I heard from a friend that she had had a one night stand with a guy I knew. Right then and there I had a terrible feeling in my stomach and I realized that I had fuc*ed up big time and that I was still in love with her. I also realized that I have been lying to myself for too long and that I got problems and bad habits I need to deal with right now.

So I got together with her and told her everything that I felt I needed to tell her about the things I'm dealing with starting with my masturbation and porn addictions and that I still had feelings for her. She was very understanding and encouraged me to get my life back on track. Only downside was that she wanted us to remain as friends which I agreed to (although I was sad about it). But after that conversation she has given me hints here and there that she might be willing to give me another chance in the future. So far she is the only one I have told about my addictions.

So that is my story and I'm now extremely determined to get rid of my addictions. And even though my ex has said that I need to change because of me, she absolutely motivates me to be better. That is because I want another chance with her to show her that I can be a better partner and boyfriend.

My goals:

To go at least 90 days without masturbation and orgasms
Getting rid of desire to watch porn completely
Learning to masturbate responsibly without porn
Getting the woman of my life back

 

No I have not mate, haven't felt the need to since I have not yet been hit with any urges to watch it.

 

She did make it extremely clear to me that I need to change for myself, not her and I understand that. I'm fully aware that I may never have boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with her ever again. But she is always going to be motivating me to be better no matter how things turn out.