INTRODUCTION: My Story/Journey Day 1 - Enough putting off, time to take excessive action!!!

Hello fellow Fapstronauts this is Believeit (just call me E) signing in to my first official day journaling about my NoFap journey I have very recently began!

I have absolutely no idea where to begin. There is so much to explain. I will start with introducing myself and my life, getting a little bit into how my addictions began. Firstly, I would tell y'all my real name, but due to wanting to remain anonymous, I can't since my name is one of a kind. I am a 22 year old male born in Russia, moved to America when I was 6 months. I am finally beginning my journal that I procrastinated for 6 months since I discovered this movement. I couldn't be more excited. I will hopefully be posting every single day how I am doing with NoFap, so you can follow along on my journey to great achievement and success.

Now back to who I am. I love anime, games, movies, all different manners of media, even books. Most importantly, I love unique original stories. Other hobbies I have are singing, music, rapping, studying personal development, and computer programming. I am a Dasher with Doordash the food delivery company in America like Uber, but for food. Something I feel noteworthy to mention is that once upon a time I used to drink alcohol, and do extremely light drug use and as of now I am 2 years sober from both so I consider myself someone who doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs. Lastly, I love the supernatural, time and time travel, serial killers, many different concepts such as the concept of enlightenment and space among other things.

I started NoFap about 2 weeks ago because having had enough of my addictions, wanted to do something about it to a more extreme level then I have. Taking my negativity from my addiction more seriously. I am going to start posting my journey because hopefully it will get me committed to this for life!

There is too much to cover in one post so I will probably split my whole addiction story between this post and the next one tomorrow. I will give a brief timeline of how my addiction manifested and where I am at now. However, first I'll quickly mention how my NoFap journey has been so far.

NoFap journey:

2 weeks ago I began NoFap. I failed the first day I started as I have been pretty much masturbating every day before I started. The second day I actually lasted for a solid 4 going on 5 days surprisingly. I later realized there is this thing called flatlining which I believe means your libido is low so your urges feel like there are non-existent. that 4 days was my most successful streak. After I messed up on the 5th day due to much temptation from a findomme. (Financial Dominatrix) I tried again but from there I could only maybe go through one day for the second week where I didn't touch or masturbate. I am trying to do NoFap hard mode, but if I touch myself, for now I take what I can get. The second week was pretty much relapse after relapse around every 20 hours. Yesterday, I almost relapsed to a friend of mine, but she wanted to help me more than screw me over so I ended up touching myself, masturbating, stroking to her command for like 7 minutes. Then she abruptly told me to stop and I was thankful, able to control myself from relapsing after she had went to sleep. For the foreseeable future we will call this friend of mine "A" (subject to change the more people I include in my explanations). So, that leaves me here at about 30 hours, about 1 day of not relapsing technically because I did touch myself, but I don't count it.

Brief history of my life when my addiction began:

First of all, I have 2 addictions that are connected to each other porn in the general sense, and findom. It began when I was 14 I learned that porn was a thing. At first I was repulsed by it, but it grew on me over a month or 2. I started stimulating myself a little bit more and more every day, not an addiction yet. Sometimes watching porn, sometimes masturbating a little, rarely orgasming. Over some time I really got into it (about 2 years down), at this point I was masturbating once or twice a week as I watched the porn which was now more kinky and getting kinkier as more time would pass, orgasming whenever I masturbated. The pleasure felt really good now. At 16, I was exploring kinks like crazy learning anything I can about sexual things. I got bored of traditional porn at 16, I wanted more intense, different porn. Discovering so many different things, sites, and kinks, due to the rules here I won't mention the sites. My search for more different fetishes is constantly increasing even now, but I am trying to tone it down.

At 17, I learned I was addicted. I discovered dominatrixes, dominant women (dommes). Using different sites I seeked them out with all the resources I have acquired up till now and did many sessions as years continued to pass. Involving all manners of fetishes, JOI, cock torture, edging, bondage, tease and denial etc. I stuck with that for a couple of years. From age 17-20 I chatted on online sexual communities, talked to dommes, participated in sexual activities with them, even made friends with them. The friendships came and passed over time. Going back to age 16 for a minute, it's important to mention jailbait is a problematic fetish that I still have, but it is pretty under control generally. Jailbait is a girl that is underage. Anyways, somewhere between age 17-20 i discovered 2 major underground fetishes: Hypnosis, and Findom or Financial Domination. Hypnosis is as it's name implies Hypnosis where a woman suggests a man to do certain things through different relaxing techniques which has a branch of erotic material. The fetish is specifically called erotic hypnosis rightfully so. Financial Domination is when a woman dominates a man through money to keep it simple, but it's far more complicated than that.

Hypnosis used to get me extremely excited long ago but after 2 years between age 17-20 it faded into near obscurity. However, findom stuck around from age 17 - 22 to the present. Through certain means between these years I discovered this fetish and eventually became involuntarily addicted to it. Before, my addiction would consume loads of my time, but now it consumes my money ever since age 19. Worse than just time consumption and more damaging.

That's the shortened version of my timeline, but I will go into more detail tomorrow hopefully covering everything I wanted to about my situation. So, my two major problems are "porn" since it's branched out into many fetishes it's not really traditional porn, PMO, and Findom.

Lastly, thank you for listening to my story. I look forward to hearing everybody's reaction to my story. Ofcourse any feedback is always greatly appreciated so don't hesitate. Sorry, it is very long, but my situation I think is rather unique and complicated. I will see you fellow Fapstronauts tomorrow. Take care!

 

Welcome to the community and thank you for sharing your story.

 

Hello and welcome!

We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!

 

Heyyy welcome to the NoFap forum : ) It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!

Here is just some advice:

First and foremost please take a look at each section in the forum, there might be something(s) you may find of big help to you. Feel free to post there :+)

Then secondly I just strongly advise you to be active on your profile(as there quite a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then make daily status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've also got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you encouragement/support.

People (are beginning to) love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive talk. It would be great to have you join in and support others in the threads, profiles, and journal, we could always use your help and in return you shall receive some as well!

Thirdly, You should also highly consider creating a public journal and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along your journey and offer support to you by way of posting in your journal.

Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!

 

That's great that you are recovering from findom. Keep it up man! It can be so dangerous if everyone knew about it, it might be illegal. As you said, most of the dommes in that community do not care about you. They'll do anything to get your money I had a short phase where nothing but findom gave me a rush too, it's really bad since it wastes so much money and unfortunately I am not rich, most are not haha. I'm glad you liked it thank you for commenting!!