Introduction

Hi,
I am 19 years old and am a porn and masturbation addict. I started masturbating when i was in the 8th grade. So I was a late bloomer compared to many. I started to realize that I had an addiction to porn about 2 weeks ago. I had a real big revelation that has really made me stop porn and masturbation.
When I started I was 13 yo and that some could say was old but I have always been a late bloomer. Anyways, I started out watching porn bc my friends talked about it and so I tried it, but did not masturbate to it until I figured out how to. Once I did I started to look at vanilla porn. But in the 6 years I have been masturbating over time the frequency I did it went up and the type of porn I watched escalated. It went from stories to pictures, to lesbian videos, to straight vanilla porn, to MILF/mom videos, to gangbang videos, to hardcore Interracial videos and finally to Hardcore BDSM.
Over the last 6 years the type of porn I watched esclated very quickly. P and M took huge toll on me emotionally. I was never the kid with the most self confidence or self worth and for me watching porn and masturbation made it much worse. It also effected the way that I saw women. My views of women are so warped and disgusting was another reason that I quit. Another reason is that it did not make me feel good after I did it. Finally porn and masturbation just made me feel inadequate.
I feel that I know myself very well and I tried to just masturbate without porn but it just led me back to feeling worthless and inadequate. As a whole I ended up going back to the porn.
Finally for me M and P only put me in a bad cycle of the things that I talked about. Generally I am a very happy person, but porn and masturbation just puts me in a horrible spot.

 

Thanks to the both of you for the support. I have a long road ahead of me, but am look for the chance to get better.