Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by MissionImpossible24, Mar 18, 2018.

  1. MissionImpossible24

    MissionImpossible24 New Fapstronaut

    I am 19 years old and am a porn and masturbation addict. I started masturbating when i was in the 8th grade. So I was a late bloomer compared to many. I started to realize that I had an addiction to porn about 2 weeks ago. I had a real big revelation that has really made me stop porn and masturbation.
    When I started I was 13 yo and that some could say was old but I have always been a late bloomer. Anyways, I started out watching porn bc my friends talked about it and so I tried it, but did not masturbate to it until I figured out how to. Once I did I started to look at vanilla porn. But in the 6 years I have been masturbating over time the frequency I did it went up and the type of porn I watched escalated. It went from stories to pictures, to lesbian videos, to straight vanilla porn, to MILF/mom videos, to gangbang videos, to hardcore Interracial videos and finally to Hardcore BDSM.
    Over the last 6 years the type of porn I watched esclated very quickly. P and M took huge toll on me emotionally. I was never the kid with the most self confidence or self worth and for me watching porn and masturbation made it much worse. It also effected the way that I saw women. My views of women are so warped and disgusting was another reason that I quit. Another reason is that it did not make me feel good after I did it. Finally porn and masturbation just made me feel inadequate.
    I feel that I know myself very well and I tried to just masturbate without porn but it just led me back to feeling worthless and inadequate. As a whole I ended up going back to the porn.
    Finally for me M and P only put me in a bad cycle of the things that I talked about. Generally I am a very happy person, but porn and masturbation just puts me in a horrible spot.
    Rising Phoenix likes this.
  2. Rising Phoenix

    Rising Phoenix Fapstronaut

    My friend,
    Its good that you've realised how PMO affects you. First of all, don't feel ashamed of yourself. That is the biggest killer of improvement. You were addicted to porn, OK. Now you are willing to leave it. That's what matters. Shame is just the reflection of your past, which cannot be changed. But the present is in your hands. So is your future. Strive to change that.

    If you've watched Kung fu panda 2, you will realise where I'm getting this thought from:
    "Your story may not have a happy beginning, but that doesn't make you who you are. It is the rest of your story, who you choose to be".

    So strive to become a better person. Don't be bothered by your past.
    We all are here to support you. But you must lead your journey :)

    I wish you all the best :)
    MissionImpossible24 likes this.
  3. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    Glad to meet you here. And very welcome to join us in our journey to a healthy, fulfilling life without any self harming habits.
    Glad you have already discovered that porn and masturbation are harming ourselves.

    It's a safe place here. We all are in the same boat, so there is no single space for judgement here.
    Maybe it's a good idea to keep a journal. Sharing your struggles, thoughts and feelings may help you to understand the underlying issues.

    Keep coming back and get the most effort out of nofap!
    You don't need to do it alone!

    Let's go to work! And make it a great time here for yourself!
    MissionImpossible24 likes this.
  4. MissionImpossible24

    MissionImpossible24 New Fapstronaut

    Thanks to the both of you for the support. I have a long road ahead of me, but am look for the chance to get better.
    xeon1993 likes this.

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