Introduction

Hello, 39y/ married male, my goal is to 'reboot' my sex life and relationship with my wife.

I'm on day 9 of a (partially)self-imposed refrain from O. It would have been only 4 days, but I was rejected for sex last weekend. Will try again this weekend. I have been looking at P and probably what would be called 'edging'. Now reading this site, maybe that hasn't been the most productive idea.

Our sex life started now a negative spiral years ago. Due to various life stresses, sex became infrequent. As my wife lost interest, my PE increased, and I turned to PMO for more satisfactory (longer) sessions. As sex became basically nothing but a chore for her, I was admonished if I 'took too long', and encouraged and rewarded for finishing as fast as possible. So I've abstained from the O (but not the PM) the week leading up to when a possible sex night with faster PE's being the result. After that, it's PMO almost daily for a different experience until I work up the nerve to ask for sex again.

My hope in nofap is that if I can approach sex more confidently, my wife will enjoy it and be open to more frequent occasions. By focusing on being satisfied with that, i will try to avoid turning to PMO in between/instead of sex.

 

Thanks for responding. You probably hit some nails on the head there. I'm going to look at NoFap as a way to remove a distraction and excuse not to focus on those more important issues.