Intrusive thoughts

(Please read all for understanding)

Today I had intrusive fantasies. I wasn’t horny or anything, I just couldn’t shake the unwanted fantasies because I really didn’t want to have them. During them, I had this other intrusive thought. I was on youtube and I was scrolling through the comments section, I had this ocd I let my guard down on purpose for a second because I was afraid that I was if that makes sense, again I didn’t want to. So I’m completely clear, I didn’t give in whatsoever, Even though I didn’t see any nudity whatsoever I got worried how I did for a second and I saw YouTube channel pics with no nudity at all. I had to check them again to see if they were not explicit (more ocd, not any intention of seeking pleasure). Also in my best words, it’s like my mind will quickly “flip” the switch to test my ocd, and make me think of things in a sexual way even when I don’t want to.

Like also when I hear something on tv, it’s not like I can always just shut off the TV with the people I live with or leave the room, it’s a one story 3 bedroom apartment in the middle of winter. My mind makes me focus on the tv sounds when I don’t want to because it knows I’m worried about it.

The mind is insane, can someone help me figure out how to keep intrusive fantasies away? If you don’t have them, consider yourself lucky. If you do, let me know what helps.