Is “D-Day” a good and smart strategy?

Early next year? So months more of PMO? Sounds like a long time to wait. Won't it be a miserable few months for you?

Why not bump that date up a bit? Like, say, the first day of autumn (if in the northern hemisphere) in two months? That's plenty of time to do all the things you listed and make a clean break.

I would add to your plan securing some APs before you D-Day and getting in the habit of checking in with them every day. You could also considering using accountability software with them, too.

Radical lifestyle transformation is what I required to initially break free from a 25-year addiction to PMO, so I applaud that portion of your approach. It can be very effective to kick start the recovery process. But progress is usually not in a straight line, so do not be discouraged if your experience isn't one of total transformation on Day 1. Recovery is hard work, every day, for a long time.

 

It's bullshit. Pure bullshit. Unless you are going through a stressful period (ex. exams, interviews, major life events) there is no reason to start your streak later than a few days after you decided you want to stop. It doesn't have to be tomorrow, not even the day after. It can be monday, to have a nice start of the week, or after 3 days, to have your last "hurrah" or whatever. I say this because it is not certain when you are going to fail. If you start tomorrow and fail after 3 days you get back on your feet and start again, but imagine starting after a few months, waiting for that "specific day" and then you fail 3 days after. The guilt must be insane and you must have been PMO-ing like crazy for months, then you will lose all your motivation.
Don't take me wrong, I believe in you and I believe you can achieve your goals, but let's be realistic on this approach.

 

Stupid idea you just want to pmo

 

The change in environment is a good strategy— because you don’t realize how powerful your triggers can be when they are situational... or environmental. There’s a post here by @SuperFan who studied those with high self control versus those with low self control. See his journal. The control group was successful in the testing mostly because of they restricted the access to being tempted. In other words your success rate sky-rockets when you combine traditional reframing with a change in environment —- it’s like the mind processes the stimuli and cues according to where it always happens.

If you used to always pmo in your office or your car you need to enact some new rules around those things.

As to how plan it—-i think if you aim to build a skyscraper of success you need a deep foundation. Don’t rush that.
You need to take serious your situation. Document your triggers. In the first 30-90 days have an evasive action plan. Breaking the habit may require other things. Chemically you are fighting your own dopamine release system. Removing the stimuli is not enough. Must replace it.

I have done a staggered recovery model although I started with hard mode for pmo. I practiced resisting for a while before using the tracker. Then graduated to it as I wanted to push myself higher. I looked at it as adding weight to the bar of expectations.

There are guys who kick this cold turkey — There are also about 15% of the population for whom they don’t show signs of any chemical or substance addiction. Meaning there are a few outliers out there your friend may be one.

The addiction can migrate (in aa they call it a dry-drunk) so for other behaviors if you aren’t dealing with the underlying emotional causes —- just take good inventory. Don’t rush your recovery. Better to take it slow and get it right than rush, get anxious and have a lot of false starts that push you back or demoralize you.

I’m not advocating to swim in your pmo —- I’m saying making realistic goals and update them aggressively.

 

Why would you throw away your laptop? I have a laptop and haven't seen porn in 1.5 years, it's a click away if I wanted to but I don't. The only thing that will really conquer pmo addiction is infallible motivation. Needing to throw away one's laptop suggests you haven't reached that point yet. So what is the point? You'll throw it away and just find another laptop when the next urge arises.

The thing is you associate your laptop with porn. To conquer porn addiction you will need insight into how your addiction works, the internet in this regard can be a valuable asset, so why not start associating your computer with that? Beat the enemy with its own weapons, the way real jedi's do it... Start bookmarking sites like YBOP and nofap. When you've finally gained enough insight your motivation will be so strong, urges won't even exist anymore. Now, that is the way to go. You need the spiritual rebirth/reboot most of all. This change needs to come from the heart.

 

This man gets it. You don't overcome an addiction by throwing your shit out, because one day they'll come back and what, you're gonna be addicted again? Keep it there, in front of you, a few clicks away and don't do it. That is control, that is breaking a habit for real.

 

Literally no one:
Me: Hurrah!

 

Some of the folks posting above are obviously very strong. I am glad they have found success due to their great willpower.

Their way never worked for me. I was addicted. I could not just say, "Don't do that," and not view P. I tried for years to do so, and I never found the strength within myself to do so.

Instead, I got away from the source of P and stayed off the Internet for nearly two years. I changed careers in order to do this. That helped me achieve a nine-month streak of no P almost immediately. I felt so free!

But then I fell back into it when I had some time alone with an Internet-connected device. I was crushed. I realized I could not do this on my own. So, I started attending 12-step meetings. That helped immensely, and I had another long streak. I was free again!

Then my work shifted again and I was back in front of a computer a lot. I fell to temptation again and again. I despaired. That was when I found out about accountability software. So I installed that on all the devices in my home, and it really helped to have others looking out for me. I felt free again, and had another series of longer and longer streaks, eventually reaching my longest period with no P, 18 months.

I had some really difficult things happen in my personal life, and I turned back to the false comfort of PMO. I relapsed hard and stayed down for a full year. That was when I found NoFap. I committed to checking in here every single day with a group of APs. And I have done so. I also committed to no M at all. Both practices have helped me tremendously.

A few months ago, I decided that I needed to eliminate P-subs completely. I have done so. And this has helped me most of all, it seems, as that felt like a last link in my mind to unhelpful sexual thinking of any kind. That is where I am today.

I check in every day with a group of trusted APs who I met on this site. I use accountability software on all my devices. I do not maintain a stash of P files as a challenge to myself -- the idea is foolishness itself! I do not trust myself in this area at all. I feel free today, but I have felt that way many times in the past and it has been a lie. Maybe someday I will be truly free and temptation will hold no power over me. Maybe I am even there today. Then again, maybe not. But it doesn't matter: As long as I stick to my helpful and healthy practices, I will not fall back into PMO. I work the process one day at a time, and I enjoy the freedom I have each and every day. That is enough.

I am not strong like some who are posting on here. I am very weak. In acknowledging that weakness and putting in place helpful tools and practices to counteract that weakness, I have found a measure of strength that is sufficient to get me through each day. I will continue to trust in the power of community support and encouragement over my own limited strength. I am the one who is recovering from decades of addiction, but I could not take the steps on my own.

So, for others who are weak like me, do not give up hope! If you confess along with me each day that you are powerless to control your tendency to do the wrong thing and that your life is unmanageable as a result, there is a way for even us to move forward. We cannot do it alone, but we *can* do it.