Is a Reboot even possible? Or is it a myth?

Davidphd1866

Davidphd1866

Fapstronaut
Reading some PhD authors on the topic of addiction I am left with the question as to whether or not a "reboot" for PMO is even POSSIBLE.

An excerpt from an article in Psychology Today:

"But Humphrey joins almost all reasonable researchers in the field of addiction in agreeing that there is a huge difference between the brain of a non-dependent problem drinker and the brain of a person addicted to alcohol. For these addicted brains, the only real option remains abstinence. One drink gives the brain the leverage it needs to force the addicted person into many" (bold font mine)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...d/201404/can-alcoholics-ever-drink-moderately

Perhaps for the addicted masturbator that the ONLY solution is total abstinence from PMO for life? No wonder the overwhelming number of us on this site continually relapse and the only success stories seem to be those attaining very long streaks--essentially fully abstinent.

So I ask, should those of us who are true PMO addicts (I certainly am.) think in terms of permanent abstinence rather than a reboot?
 
Davidphd1866 said:
Reading some PhD authors on the topic of addiction I am left with the question as to whether or not a "reboot" for PMO is even POSSIBLE.

An excerpt from an article in Psychology Today:

"But Humphrey joins almost all reasonable researchers in the field of addiction in agreeing that there is a huge difference between the brain of a non-dependent problem drinker and the brain of a person addicted to alcohol. For these addicted brains, the only real option remains abstinence. One drink gives the brain the leverage it needs to force the addicted person into many" (bold font mine)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...d/201404/can-alcoholics-ever-drink-moderately

Perhaps for the addicted masturbator that the ONLY solution is total abstinence from PMO for life? No wonder the overwhelming number of us on this site continually relapse and the only success stories seem to be those attaining very long streaks--essentially fully abstinent.

So I ask, should those of us who are true PMO addicts (I certainly am.) think in terms of permanent abstinence rather than a reboot?
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Yup
 
Practically speaking of course there's no difference during the reboot period, it's abstinence during that time vs. rest of ones life.

I guess if there's any doubt then don't fool yourself. However a different question that may be more meaningful is: If rebooting is possible, what does it take? Perhaps abstinence alone is not enough.
 
PMO is basically the new tobacco. It took a long time before the public came around to aknowledging tobacco as bad for you. My grandfather passed from lung cancer after smoking 60 years. There were a lot of lobbyists in Washington DC for years fighting laws and regulations that revealed the truth about tabacco.

My point being is we’re still A) learning all the harm PMO does to our mind and bodies and B) the fight with the porn industry hasn’t even begun yet in D.C.

Just like smoking, PMO is bad for your brain and frequent ejaculation in general depletes our bodies from reaching their full potential. So a long winded scatter-brained big picture answer to your question with lots of unnecessary information is yes abstinence is the key to healing.
 
Good points guys. I wonder if there is any true difference in addictions.....alcohol, tobacco, cocaine.....sugar....sex. We may be doing ourselves a disservice by calling it "natural". We've made it decidedly unnatural.
 
Rebooting has to be possible as I feel I'm in the middle of it. I've been addicted for 41 years. The first 10 years I didn't know what was even happening, just "happy" to see girls with nothing on. Then in my teens and 20s I stopped caring and just indulged.
Problem is wickedness never was happiness, and I hated myself, and even had trouble looking at me in a mirror.

Eventually I was put in the hospital, and my life HAD to change or it was going to end, by accident or on purpose.

So age 26 I started on a personal mission to be done with porn and self gratification. I had good and bad and great and sad and awful and joy moments. I learned that porn is going to find you, and how you react to it is the key out.
So I saw something I didn't need to and I start relapsing and seeking more. That was day 113 into my quest to stop after 13 years of struggling after my 26 year old vow to quit.
Yet I didn't give up, I cried, I was disappointed then I forgave myself and new I could hit 113 again, and go beyond.

365 days later, today, I'm on my 1st YEAR free. Was it perfect? No life happens and our fallen world comes after you, if I ran into something I stopped and chose not to continue. I got away and out and focused my energy on not giving in. At times I even prayed to the God I believe in for help. Half my own white knuckle, more looking to a higher power. Surrounding myself with people who knew and were willing to help, support, and fight with me. And 1 year.

Am I free totally? I try to be. The Coolage effect is being recognized for not my way. The cravings are being acknowledged and dismissed/worked through/around.

I have no desire to go back. Am I still attracted to women? Yes. Yet I can choose how to appropriately react to situations. I'm not going back. That's my choice, and I'll keep making it until the day I die.
 
Munke2112 said:
Rebooting has to be possible as I feel I'm in the middle of it. I've been addicted for 41 years. The first 10 years I didn't know what was even happening, just "happy" to see girls with nothing on. Then in my teens and 20s I stopped caring and just indulged.
Problem is wickedness never was happiness, and I hated myself, and even had trouble looking at me in a mirror.

Eventually I was put in the hospital, and my life HAD to change or it was going to end, by accident or on purpose.

So age 26 I started on a personal mission to be done with porn and self gratification. I had good and bad and great and sad and awful and joy moments. I learned that porn is going to find you, and how you react to it is the key out.
So I saw something I didn't need to and I start relapsing and seeking more. That was day 113 into my quest to stop after 13 years of struggling after my 26 year old vow to quit.
Yet I didn't give up, I cried, I was disappointed then I forgave myself and new I could hit 113 again, and go beyond.

365 days later, today, I'm on my 1st YEAR free. Was it perfect? No life happens and our fallen world comes after you, if I ran into something I stopped and chose not to continue. I got away and out and focused my energy on not giving in. At times I even prayed to the God I believe in for help. Half my own white knuckle, more looking to a higher power. Surrounding myself with people who knew and were willing to help, support, and fight with me. And 1 year.

Am I free totally? I try to be. The Coolage effect is being recognized for not my way. The cravings are being acknowledged and dismissed/worked through/around.

I have no desire to go back. Am I still attracted to women? Yes. Yet I can choose how to appropriately react to situations. I'm not going back. That's my choice, and I'll keep making it until the day I die.
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Truly inspirational brother. Willpower is the biggest factor in quitting. You have to want to be done with PMO in order to see results.
 
I agree. Great job.

But is abstaining for life truly a reboot? Can you use porn in moderation? If you truly rebooted, you could.
 
Depends on the individual id assume. With the brain addictions are certaim neural pathways that are reinforced through repition yes the pathway will remain but over time it will weaken. The key here is that after sufficient time the brain finds other pathways and strengthens those. Thats the key
 
Davidphd1866 said:
essentially fully abstinent.
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What do you mean by essentially fully abstinent?

Davidphd1866 said:
But is abstaining for life truly a reboot? Can you use porn in moderation? If you truly rebooted, you could.
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Doesn't that depend on why you are giving up? I need to rid my life of porn, so if I 'reboot' I am definitely not going back to porn. I think porn is wrong, and so I do not want it 'in moderation'.

Like you I am not sure I believe in 'reboot' either. My therapist uses a garden analogy:
kropo82 said:
She says it's like an overgrown garden. At first it seems an impossible job, but eventually, with a lot of hard work, all the brambles and weeds are cleared. Can we stop weeding then? No, of course not, but it is a much easier and less time consuming job.
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@Davidphd1866, is it important to you that you can return to moderate porn use? Why? What would we need to do to persuade you that any porn use is bad?
 
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I agree with everything being said. Once you've built that neural super-highway, watching or searching for porn will lead to relapse. even if its just a brief slip up, it'll still have the chaser effect which makes abstinence much harder (if you don't binge). People often expect abstinence to be difficult forever; but people forget that neural pathways weaken and the delta fos-B breaks down. This means that the longer the abstinence, the easier it becomes to avoid P. And I am sure for everyone who was an addict who quit porn and is not addicted- they will never go back. I certainly wont.

You may be tempted because other people 'enjoy' it but we know now it is actually better to live without any porn, similar to how its better living without smoking or hard drugs.
 
Awesome posts everyone. I’m writing from my phone, so tough to address all questions for a week or so.

My original question was: If the experts say that dependent alcoholics can’t “reboot” and ever use alcohol again, does it mean the same thing for us dependent PMO addicts? That is, since I’m clearly dependent, does it mean I should be thinking in terms of no more PMO.....ever?

I am coming to believe just that. That ANY porn.....masturbation.....AND orgasm for me will lead me to a horrible relapse. In other words, no such thing as a reboot for me. I must abstain or I am in trouble.
 
Davidphd1866 said:
Awesome posts everyone. I’m writing from my phone, so tough to address all questions for a week or so.

My original question was: If the experts say that dependent alcoholics can’t “reboot” and ever use alcohol again, does it mean the same thing for us dependent PMO addicts? That is, since I’m clearly dependent, does it mean I should be thinking in terms of no more PMO.....ever?

I am coming to believe just that. That ANY porn.....masturbation.....AND orgasm for me will lead me to a horrible relapse. In other words, no such thing as a reboot for me. I must abstain or I am in trouble.
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Let me address each part separately.

Porn- yes. you must abstain for life if you want to be free. But don't worry, avoiding porn gets easier and easier the longer you have quit.

Masturbation (without porn)- in the early days of a reboot, most people abstain from M because it is too strongly linked to pornography. It helps you reboot quicker by avoiding M and for a lot of people if you M during reboot it usually leads to the chaser and craving for P. However, after the reboot is complete its probably fine to masturbate- but to be honest I wont do this as M is so boring by itself and i'd rather benefit from semen retention.
For others, masturbation without porn actually helps them along the path of reboot. you gotta see what works for you.

Orgasm - this one you certainly don't need to abstain from. As long as its with a real person, it doesn't matter if you do it a day after you quit or months after you quit, this will make rebooting a lot easier. Hard mode (abstaining from all PMO) will make u reboot faster, but eventually you need to rewire your brain which will mean sex or intimacy with real partner.
 
Bobske said:
Remember, Alcohol is a hard drug. It being socially "accepted" does not make it any better..
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First of all, I said "may be". Second of all, that's where our opinions differ: you think alcohol is completely bad. I think alcohol in small quantities is okay. Personally I only drink alcohol once a year, on a certain holiday. On the other hand, I honestly don't think there's anything good or worthwhile about P.
 
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